Rudolph WAS lit — and Santa was taking magic mushrooms!
This Christmas, like many before it and many yet to come, the story of Santa and his flying reindeer will be told, including how the “jolly old elf” flies on his sleigh throughout the entire world in one night, giving gifts to all the good children.But according to one theory, the story of Santa and his flying reindeer can be traced to an unlikely source: hallucinogenic or “magic” mushrooms.
“Santa is a modern counterpart of a shaman, who consumed mind-altering plants and fungi to commune with the spirit world,” said John Rush, an anthropologist and instructor at Sierra College in Rocklin, Calif.
According to the theory, the legend of Santa derives from shamans in the Siberian and Arctic regions who dropped into locals’ teepeelike homes with a bag full of hallucinatory mushrooms as presents in late December, Rush said.
“As the story goes, up until a few hundred years ago these practicing shamans or priests connected to the older traditions would collect Amanita muscaria (the Holy Mushroom), dry them, and then give them as gifts on the winter solstice,” Rush told LiveScience. “Because snow is usually blocking doors, there was an opening in the roof through which people entered and exited, thus the chimney story.”
Far out, man!
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Chris and me dated the same woman:
*starts at 2:27
When you refer to your ex’s as case numbers, you know you’ve made some bad choices.
You haven’t lived until you are running for your life down an alley while your girlfriend is trying to run you over with your truck.
It was all my fault. I never should have asked “Why can’t you be nice?”
LOL. My favorite, “if you try to leave me, I’ll kill you.” Love hurts. Literally.
Here’s a tip:
If you sincerely believe your girlfriend/wife/blind date is insane, DO NOT call her “c-r-a-z-y”. Something about that word makes them go postal.
Way worse than River Tam.
I’ve noticed that. Somehow, I can’t not do that though.
my husband had a friend that his two girlfriends and his wife all got together and wrecked his car. pulled the wires out and broke the windows. he was thanking God that he was not in the car at the time.
It is hell when they all find out about each other and team up on you
I can’t handle one woman at a time.
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer’s credibility …..
Q: ‘Officer — did you see my client fleeing the scene?’
A: ‘No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.’
Q: ‘Officer, who provided this description?’
A: ‘The officer who responded to the scene.’
Q: ‘A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?’
A: ‘Yes, sir. With my life.’
Q: ‘With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?’
A: ‘Yes sir, we do!’
Q: ‘And do you have a locker in the room?’
A: ‘Yes, sir, I do.’
Q: ‘And do you have a lock on your locker?’
A: ‘Yes, sir.’
Q: ‘Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?’
A: ‘You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.’
You are making fun of lawyers?
yeah, but look how quickly I screamed for a lawyer when I got in trouble
Everyone does. Every town has at least one lawyer that the cops despise. Guess who they call first when they get in trouble?
help delete my post about the cop in court
PLEASE
Nah, it’s fun. Our blog council can handle it.
I agree with dandytiger. It is a fun piece. And I love the responses. So true, both sides of it – yours and myiq’s. I suppose lawyers are like the opposite gender; you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.
THE MARINE IS BACK IN THE USA released from mexican jail
this has to be the best Christmas ever for this family
http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/12/21/3152056/us-marine-held-in-mexico-being.html
I want my Obamamushroom, I mean like right now.
http://hotair.com/greenroom/archives/2012/12/21/self-important-santa-gives-lectures-to-kids-who-ask-for-toy-or-real-guns/
I think Santa should listen and say be a good boy or girl, the lecture is a bit much
‘South Korea elects first woman President – South Korea elected its first female President on Wednesday, with voters handing a historic victory to CONSERVATIVE candidate Park Geun-Hye’. Damn, those radical extremists are everywhere. /s
If there is going to be so much snow you have to crawl out of a hole in your roof, I’d want to spend the winter on mushrooms, too.
‘Megan Fox – Morning sickness was so bad, I was convinced I was birthing a vampire baby like the one from Twilight’. Hmm….wasn’t mental health in the news recently?
The hot ones are always crazy.
Keeping balance in the universe.
I enjoyed this. Pretty cool!
The Basement:
http://cabel.me/2012/12/19/the-basement/
that was really great. I do love history
‘$120,000 cash found in trash – A worker at a waste disposal site at Japan found $120,000 cash in a stream of pulverized trash, police said. “There were about a thousand 10,000 yen bills that came out of a pulverizer unscathed,” said a spokesman at the Asaminami police department in Hiroshima prefecture, in the country’s west. He added that there were also 2,300 fragments of money destroyed by the machine at a municipal facility that processes bulky waste’. Santa, damn it, theres stuff falling off your overloaded sleigh.
http://pjmedia.com/tatler/2012/12/21/travesty-of-justice-limits-on-presidents-detention-powers-stripped-from-final-defense-bill/
myiq. put your lawyer hat on.
presidential detention powers stripped from final defense bill
should read
limits on presidential detention powers stripped from defense bill
Here’s a holiday tip:
Don’t watch “historical” Christmas specials with a true believer. I was watching Christiane Amanpoor’s special on ABC with my mom and I pointed out a few of the inaccuracies.
Mom kicked my ass out and made me go home.
nobody likes a smartass
LOL. And you probably knew what would happen, but you couldn’t stop yourself.
I had the right to remain silent, but not the ability.
When you know where all the hot buttons are, how can you not push them on occasion.
For some of them, everything is a hot button.
More than once I got in trouble for proving I was innocent.
‘Bieber’s murder plot revealed – An obsessed killer, who allegedly plotted to kidnap singer Justin Bieber and strangle him, put a $2500 bounty on each of the singer’s testicles, as he wanted to castrate the singer. Jailed Dana Martin, who sports a Bieber tattoo on his leg, is accused of arranging for two other men to abduct and murder the singer’. Talk bout moneyed testicular fortitude. Insane!
Justin Bieber has testicles?
Ban tattoos!
Keeping on the topic of insanity….. ‘Lohan can’t afford psychological therapy – Troubled actor Lindsay Lohan reportedly needs psychological help, but she just can’t afford it. The 26 year old has apparently agreed she needs help but doesn’t have the money to hire a psychiatrist as she is currently in debt. Lindsay is overwhelmed at the prospect of going to jail and believes that a psychiatrist can help her through this trying time. However, Lindsay has a huge problem, she can’t afford to pay a good shrink because she literally has no money. Her health insurance would only pay about 20% of the mental health bills, and the doctors that she wants to see charge $250-$300 an hour’. – Troubled actor. As far as I know, every actor is “troubled”. 26 year old. Jeez, I’ve been hearing bout her and so often that I thought by now she’d be 40. Scared of going to jail, thats atleast sane. Literally has no money, boo hoo, wheres all the money you earned, Lindsay? Blew it away, didn’t you? Health Insurance, Obamacare will look after you, not to worry. And finally keep them guns away from her. Hmm…….shes probably stupid enough to accidentally shoot herself.
I sense a new reality show coming.
Yep. She blew away her life and fortune. Reconstructing that would be very difficult, unless she sobers down and gets serious. The way shes going, I doubt that she’ll reach 40. And it’ll be one of those tragic cases.
40 was her mileage. Before. It’s much higher, now.
Yes, yes it is.
mental illness is a touchy subject, but I feel like people are given too many drugs and not enough treatment and places to go. It’s a “cheap” solution and I know a few people that became more dangerous to society after the prescription drugs started creating side effects.
You can never have too many drugs. I learned that from Cheech and Chong.
LOL. In my town, the most popular psychologist manages people’s medications. She doesn’t do psychotherapy.