It’s a baritone.
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My day at the designer vagina showcase
The perfect vagina is pink, plump and hairless.
There is nothing major about its labia majora, curled primly to frame the entrance of the vagina and a clitoris with a hood so dainty that it might even be called cute. Projected on a screen in front of us in a slick, dark boardroom in Midtown Manhattan, the perfect vagina in the photograph is surrounded by the trademark sky blue of a surgical gown, a slash of orangey disinfectant Betadine on one splayed thigh.
That’s because the perfect vagina was created on an operating table, during a cosmetic surgery by Dr. Amir Marashi.
There’s a similarly petal pink and perfect vagina sitting on the table in front of us, life-size and molded out of silicone. It’s a surgical practice dummy, surprisingly heavy and complex. It’s about the length of my forearm, with two little anatomically correct tunnels built in. When I picked it up and dropped it on the table, it jiggled convincingly. I stare at it. The abyss gazes back.
Marashi, an Iranian surgeon who specializes in vaginal cosmetic surgery and has performed more than 400 procedures in the largely mysterious field (there’s no formal certification or medical specialty, merely gynecological surgeons who perform surgeries to prettify genitalia), can shorten your labia, tighten your vagina, amplify your G-spot and even tighten the strings on your clitoral hood, so to speak. He can take into account preferences for shape and color, he explains, and boost your self-confidence and physicality to give you the best sex you’ve ever had with more orgasms than you’ve ever dreamed of.
Marashi wears a fitted suit with a dark deep-V T-shirt underneath, a hot-pink pocket square peeking out of his jacket. He takes his work seriously and seems friendly and knowledgeable, even after you think about the likely contents of his phone’s camera roll. He texts with his patients regularly, checking up on them post-op. He’s been doing this work for a long time and believes he’s making women’s lives more comfortable, happier. One reason a woman might choose to get her labia shortened, he says, is to make riding a bicycle less harrowing.
Around the office, co-workers and patients have nicknamed him “VW,” I’m told. It’s short for “Vagina Whisperer.”
I don’t remember this occupation being discussed on Career Day back in high school.
This is an open thread.
“I had my labia shortened. What do you think?”