Time to Awaken the 2012 Change Candidate

Now there have been some vile and speciest rumors that The Dread One is not qualified to run for President because he was spawned from the stars, or possibly the planet Vhoorl, but I assure you that I have personally seen his birth spawn certificate in person when I travelled to his birth place of Sunnydale, California and it is perfectly legit. In fact here is a picture of on the right. Ok, so it’s not exactly a long form, but I have been assured by experts that it is just as good — tastier, in fact.

Why vote for Cthulhu, you say? How dare you question the masters of the universe who have anointed him… er, that is, Cthulhu is the TRUE change candidate. Things will never be the same after Cthulhu has been unleashed elected. Unlike some previous and now obsolete Change candidates, Cthulhu never over-promises and under-delivers. Quite the contrary, Cthulhu makes no promises and delivers complete, utter, equal opportunity destruction. Rich and poor, young and old, left and right, all will be devoured. There will be no cronyism, you can bet your last dollar on that! And you might as well, since you won’t be spending it anyway after he gets you. That reminds me, he is also the ultimate campaign finance reform candidate, since he needs NO monetary contributions. Truly a paragon.

Support real, lasting, and panic-stricken change. Vote Cthulhu!

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56 Responses to Time to Awaken the 2012 Change Candidate

  1. votermom says:

    Lambert at corrente is facing some unexpected (and hopefully short-term) money problems. If you are in a position to help, I hope you will consider doing so.


    Also check out his Shop Left beta idea that he explains in the same post.

  2. Valissa says:

    Hey votermom… thanks bunches for keeping the energy going here!

    I think the biggest challenge of Cthulhu as a candidate is figuring out how to pronounce his name. There are differing opinions on that and apparently even Lovecraft was not consistent about it.

    It’s a strange kindy of funny-sad that all the human presidential candidates are so pathetic that Cthulhu seems like a better option. I’m already pre-planning to vote “None of the Above” for president in 2012, although I am tempted to write in Hillary or Cthulhu. it will depend on my mood that day.

  3. foxyladi14 says:

    he beats the front runner all to heck 😆

  4. Pingback: Time to Awaken the 2012 Change Candidate (via The Crawdad Hole) | Stealth Magnolia

  5. DeniseVB says:

    Great timing, was looking for the perfect post to fit the snarky cartoon I found. In case the pingback doesn’t show up, just clicky my name 🙂

    • Mr. Mike says:

      Why the cartoon?
      Get yourself a real Obama “Hope” poster and a pair of Googly Eyes from any craft store and make your own.
      It’ll will make your O-bot acquaintances spit nails.

  6. gxm17 says:

    Bwahahahaha! I’m putting the DESPAIR poster up on the wall. It’s just too perfect.

  7. kk says:

    great &funny post votermom…i thought for a sec that myiq was back…

  8. Mr. Mike says:


    I belong to a forum hosted by the local newspapers. Any time there is an item about overpaid public servants and their pensions you get the usual Tea Party responses. How these people should live in the real world and make a real salary and have a 401K because times are tough.

    I like to remind them that in the real world a struggling company’s management is reduced and the rest get pay cuts so why not do the same for the president and congress?

  9. Erica says:

    I went to the National Journal article VM posted yesterday because VM said the comments had cheered her up and I was looking for some of that.

    There are only 6 comments now and most of them are commenting on the National Journal’s practice of deleting anti-Obama comments.

    Let the games begin, people. 2012 is already bearing the mark of Zero’s despicable electioneering and anti-freedom practices.

    The bully is in the pulpit, for sure.

  10. Valissa says:

    No surprise here… and as I have never liked the guy, and never understood why exactly he was made DNC chairman because it seemed he was pretty useless at the job… I hope he loses big!

    Democratic Party Chairman Kaine to Run for Virginia Senate Seat http://www.businessweek.com/news/2011-04-05/democratic-party-chairman-kaine-to-run-for-virginia-senate-seat.html

    • gxm17 says:

      Wonderful news! I will so very much enjoy NOT VOTING FOR THE JERK this time around. Heck, I may even be spiteful and vote for the Republican if there aren’t any Greens on the ballot.

  11. yttik says:

    2012, WTF!??

    I’m holding out on the hope that the Mayan calender was right, that 2012 will be the end of the world as some people know it. By that I mean, the end of male dominated politics and the election of a woman as leader of one of the wealthiest nations on the planet. Yes indeed, that would pretty much ruin some people’s day and convince them that the world has come to an end, but I’ll be dancing in the streets, celebrating the fact that humankind has finally evolved.

  12. Valissa says:

    For anyone who may be wondering how Obama is going to reacpture the interest and excitement of young voters, here’s one part of the re-election strategy.

    Joe Biden’s N.H. trip focuses on abuse http://www.bostonherald.com/news/us_politics/view.bg?articleid=1328418&srvc=rss

    Hours after President Obama became the first major candidate to officially step into the 2012 race yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden hit the Granite State, greeting supporters and putting a face to the re-election campaign launched on YouTube.

    Biden swept through Portsmouth and Durham, where he spoke to students at the University of New Hampshire on sexual assault prevention, sidestepping politics for the duration of the speech.

    “I’m not talking about those divisive social issues, which divide us based on ideology. I’m talking about what we state to be a collective national value, and that is to fight the abuse of power, no matter where it comes from,” he told students at UNH’s Memorial Union Building.

    There is also an article by Amy Siskind over at Huffpo and another at the NYTimes on this same subject.

    Yes, it’s a worthy subject but somehow it creeps me out that they are using this strategy to try and get votes.

    • Erica says:

      Fighting abuse of power no matter where it comes from? He might want to start with his CIC.

      • Valissa says:

        Now you know why I picked that particular article to share. Dumbfounded is good word for how I felt when I read that!

  13. Mr. Mike says:

    I went to the Obamanation Channel at Youtube. The comments are coming fast and furious, most ain’t good.

    • Valissa says:

      Love hearing that… Karma is a bitch!

      my favorite defintion of BITCH: Broad In Total Control (of) Herself

      • Mr. Mike says:

        I was going to comment but now you must have a Google Account so I unregistered from Youtube.

        • Valissa says:

          I am not a fan of Google/Big-Brother-cloud so I can understand that. But I ended up with a Google account because I use Google News (it’s a great news aggregator, despite some flaws), and I created a custom news page, which required getting an account… very handy for my research topics (but I have NO other services with them). I noticed the last time I went to YouTube that they wanted me to log in using a Google account so I just did it without really thinking about why they were asking for it. They can feel free to track my cookies, they might learn something… LOL…

    • foxyladi14 says:

      😆 well that made my day 😆

  14. propertius says:

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!

  15. Valissa says:

    OT – heartwarming story of the day… a young woman becomes a cow rider…

    Horse dreams dashed, German teen turns to cow Luna http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110405/ap_on_re_eu/eu_germany_jumping_cow

    Luna’s stubborn streak meant that teaching her pony tricks wasn’t always easy, Mayer noted, saying she sought tips from a cow expert in Switzerland on how to deal with “steering” problems.

    Anne Wiltafsky, who trains cows near the Swiss city of Zurich, said Luna’s talents are not particularly surprising and that, historically, it was quite common to ride cows and use them as workhorses.

    • ralphb says:

      No kidding. That’s kind of flabbergasting.

      • votermom says:

        What do you guys figure is up with that?

        • Valissa says:

          The nutroots seem to be happy about it (MyDD, Dkos), and they haven’t been happy about much. Not sure why, as she is a corporatist Dem or “New Democrat.” Perhaps the Obama campaign has realized they have a problem with women, so maybe it is partly about that.

  16. djmm says:

    Fantastic post!

    Hastur might be my personal favorite of the Great Old Ones, but unless a real Democrat runs, I could vote for Cthulhu! In the meantime, I want the posters (where can we buy them??) and the cake recipe!



    • votermom says:

      Wasn’t Hastur in Darkover? I get all my fauxworlds mixed up.

      • djmm says:

        As I would have to hunt for my books by Lovecraft and August Derleth, I resort to WIkipedia: Hastur is “The Lord of Interstellar Spaces” (which is why I favor him), “The Unspeakable,” “He Who is Not to be Named” (so maybe Hastur is a nickname? Not to be confused with H R Haggard’s “She Who Must Be Obeyed”), and King in Yellow (which I did not know but which relates to one of Lovecraft’s sources/inspiration, Mr. Chambers).

        August Bierce created Hastur as a God of the shepards. Robert W. Chambers developed the character, associating him with a particular star. Lovecraft adopted him and his collaborator August Derleth posed Hastur as a rival to Cthulhu, who occasionally rescues those who Cthulhu is about to eat. He appears in, for example, Derleth’s “The Lurker at the Threshold.”

        Regarding Darkover, Wikipedia says “References to Hastur also appear throughout Marion Zimmer Bradley’s work, most notably the Darkover series (e.g., The Heritage of Hastur, 1975), although without explicit Cthulhu mythos connection. In her work, Hastur is a noble house, descended from an officer of a “Lost Ship.” In the Darkover series, the House of Hastur is the power behind the throne. The House symbol is a silver pine tree on a dark green background. In addition, Paul Edwin Zimmer (Marion’s brother) included Hastur figures in his Dark Border series (e.g., The Lost Prince, “King Chondos’ Ride, A Gathering of Heroes, and Ingulf the Mad), also without explicit Cthulhu mythos connection.

        “In Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman’s book Good Omens Hastur appears as a fallen angel and duke of hell.”


        More than anyone wanted to know, I am sure!

        I still want the cake recipe!


  17. kc says:

    Go Cthulhu!! How could it be worse??

    Actually, I’m writing in Hillary. But, I wouldn’t be surprised at the number of votes a Cthulhu would get–people have had enough. Actually, I agree with some of Trumps ideas–specially on trade and at least he has the cahones to challenge the bc issue. I kinda like having the guts to say what you want.

  18. kc says:

    I used to like Wasserman-Schultz (I live in Fl. also).

    But, the past year or so, it just seems she’s spouting the party line too well, like a robot. Too much of a cheer leader (nothing against cheerleaders). A little streak of independence would appeal more to me.

    • ralphb says:

      That’s my problem with her. She will mindlessly spout the party drivel when you know she knows better. It’s kind of pathetic to see someone do that.

  19. Mr. Mike says:

    “Debbie has served the people of Florida – first in the Florida State Legislature, and more recently in Congress – for nearly two decades. During that time, she has fought for America’s children, seniors, and men and women in uniform. something Barry couldn’t be bothered to do as a Senator and now as your President.

    In selecting Debbie to lead our party, President Obama noted her tenacity, her strength, her fighting spirit, and her ability to overcome adversity. Meaning he can get in at least two more rounds of golf every week instead of worrying about the nut and bolts of the party he leads. President Obama expressed great admiration for her as a leader, and he was honored that she accepted this important challenge on behalf of the Democratic Party. Because he knows a leader when he sees one.”

  20. votermom says:

    Move over, MSNBC. BZero has a new BFF:


    How do you know you are the hottest company in Silicon Valley? When you get a visit from the President of the United States.

    President Obama has just announced that he will hold a town hall meeting at Facebook’s headquarters on April 20. The announcement was made, of course, on Facebook.

    President Obama’s visit comes as Facebook is deepening its ties in Washington, recruiting former insiders from both parties, including Robert Gibbs, the former White House press secretary.

    Facebook’s forays in Washington are raising eyebrows from some critics of the company who fear the ties with powerful politicians may insulate it from scrutiny it deserves on issues like privacy.

  21. foxyladi14 says:

    the comments over there are funny 😆
    thanks to the klown he taught me how to do this..:lol:

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