Obama’s Grandstanding shows weakness and fear

So yesterday Obama made a much-hyped historic speech about the Middle East that was supposed to be “comprehensive and sweeping”.  But what did he actually say? Let me sum up:

Hillary is great and she works for me. I’m the boss of her.  Enough about her. The past half year, big stuff has been happening in the Middle East – “Change”. Extraordinary “Change.” (Just like my campaign slogan – Change). I brought the troops home from Iraq! (pause to polish Nobel Peace medal). I broke the Taliban (please ignore media reports that the US military will now partner with them). And , drum roll, please, I killed Bin Laden! Who was a really bad man, but actually already irrelevant, so those of you who liked him or felt he was your spiritual daddy, please, please, please don’t feel too bad. Forget him and let’s talk about Change.

(Insert flattering paeans and touching homilies to protesters in Tunisia, Egypt, Yemen, Libya, and Syria here.)

Now let’s talk about the USA. USA will still focus on the war on terra, keeping the oil flowing, keeping Israel safe (bet no one sees me crossing my fingers as I say this), and keeping the peace.

(Insert naming the good guys – Egypt, Tunisia, and the bad guys Quackdaffy, @ssad, Bahrain in the middle, and Iran supervillain, here).

Now the big news — we love Egypt so much, we are giving them $$$2 Billion Dollars$$$ in baksheesh! Yes, look how we much money we are willing to bribe them with so they will be as much our friend as our dear departed Mubarak. And we will make the World Bank and the IMF (snicker) give Tunisia money too! You too can get $$$CASH$$$, dear Middle East Muslim Brothers, if only you will please be our friends. Mmmwah. Kiss Kiss. We will willingly take money from our sick and elderly and flood-devastated and give it to you, because we want you so much to be our friend and keep letting out dear tax-exempt Oil Company Cronies have complete access to your oil.

But wait, there’s more! We know how you hate our longtime ally there with the old out-dated religion, and just between you and me and the world, I don’t like them much either, so as a mark of my willingness to be your friend, I promise to tie them up so you can get your whacks in at them and look the other way while you beat them up. I promise that I will be on YOUR side at the negotiating table at which I was supposed to be the impartial referee — your starting low-ball bid is what I will guarantee!

In closing, the USA invented democracy and freedom and anyone who disagrees with me is a raycist.

Please, please, love me.

(Signed) Barry (call me Hussein) Obama.

So, you see how it is, people of the Arab world: Obama desperately needs your friendship and your oil and he will give you all your heart desires to get it. But once he is your friend he will probably treat you just the way he treated Mubarak and Netanyahu. Would you break bread with this man?

So you see how it is, Israel: This is the man your friends and families in the Jewish-American community voted for and donated to. And they want to re-elect him. If you have any way of breaking through their koolaide-induced fugue state, please do it. Good luck.

So you see how it is, America: “Our” President cares more about  Middle East Muslim Brothers than he does about Middle-Class Americans. He doesn’t have money to create jobs, to provide healthcare, to repair tornado and flood destroyed homes, to provide decent lives for seniors from money they already set aside from their working days, but he always has money to bail out his friends on Wall Street, in the Oil Companies, and in the Middle East.  But let’s vote for him because the media says anyone who challenges him is crazy, racist, and stupid.

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29 Responses to Obama’s Grandstanding shows weakness and fear

  1. votermom says:

    Obama sounds like the six fingered man at the end of this clip.
    “Anything you ask for.”

    http://www.myspace.com/video/vid/1124139646

  2. Three Wickets says:

    Ooh that was wickedly good, votermom. 🙂 The first, second, and third rule of the Obama Administration is that Barack Obama comes before the American people.

  3. votermom says:

    The Atlantic rushes to defend weak Obama from scary Netanyahu
    Dear Mr. Netanyahu, Please Don’t Speak to My President That Way
    http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2011/05/dear-mr-netanyahu-please-dont-speak-to-my-president-that-way/239199/
    Pathetic.

    • Three Wickets says:

      Yes I just saw that, and it looks like Jeffrey is suggesting that the word “expects” somehow equals “hissy fit.” Which I thought was an over reaction. Jackson Diehl at WaPo follows the region closely. Thought his quick take was helpful.

      • votermom says:

        This is interesting:

        In the end this looks like another instance in which Obama’s insistence on pushing his own approach to the peace process will backfire. The president was urged by several senior advisers not to delve deeply into Israeli-Palestinian affairs in this speech, just as he was warned last year not to continue insisting on a freeze of Israel’s West Bank settlements. Apparently at the last minute, Obama chose to include the 1967-lines idea in his speech. The result has been the draining of attention from the speech’s central discussion of Arab democracy, a cheap talking point for GOP opponents — and yet another pointless quarrel with Bibi Netanyahu.

        BO was 30 minutes late for the speech, wasn’t he?
        Hillary must have done a headdesk privately afterwards. I wonder who helped him put it in — Samantha Powers?
        Also, I totally see BO using the speech as an opportunity to slam Netanyahu just because he doesn’t like him personally – he is so petty.

    • catarina says:

      Dear Mr. Netanyahu,

      Please kick His Ass.
      Nobody else has the balls.

      Thank you.

  4. myiq2xu says:

    I can’t watch Obama speeches anymore. That was what the psychologist recommended and the judge made it part of the court order.

    Besides, I either gotta quit drinking of get a new liver and Obama speeches are binge-inducing..

    • votermom says:

      If BO wants people to watch his speeches, he should spring for single-payer healthcare.

      I didn’t watch, even though that means I missed Hillary’s jokes at the start. Read it instead.

      • ralphb says:

        She’s not funny enough on her best day to get me to watch an Obama speech.

      • Pips says:

        Only one minor objection to your post votermom: I don’t see Obama begging for love. Ever. He seems to take “the people’s” love for granted, believing the fairytale manufactured by his ‘inner circle’ and the media.

        And trying to read Obama’s “big”, “historic” speech I only got to the “Hillary will go down …” Maybe I’m overreacting to the phrasing; but I don’t think so.

        • votermom says:

          Not literally begging for love, but more than ever I think the goal of his speech was to make nice with the AQ sympathizers the Chicago Way.
          “Look, I took out your old man, but what had he done for you lately anyway? Here, I’ll give your blood money and declare open season on your favorite hate object. We good now?”
          And yes, I agree, he also wanted to take Hillary down via the Israel-under-bussing. People have been pointing out that no one in the State Dept applauded during any of his applause points. I missed this by just reading instead of watching.

  5. Obama is a chump

    • Mr. Mike says:

      You are one letter away from being labeled a racist.

        • Erica says:

          very funny votermom

          i didn’t watch the speech, can’t take his preening and lecturing when it’s clear he has such a limited grasp on history and is such a dunderhead. Interesting that State did not applaud. That’s a tough visual to ignore, though I bet the media minimized it. How in the world are we gonna get him out of office?? Who owns him, who brought him to the presidency??

        • votermom says:

          🙂

          How in the world are we gonna get him out of office??
          Vote for whoever runs against him, I guess, no matter what.
          Who owns him, who brought him to the presidency??
          I think it’s the usual big money guys who brought us W; but I have a feeling even they didn’t quite realize he was all packaging and no content.

        • Three Wickets says:

          “..he was all packaging and no content.”

          And Plouffe and the campaign got the grand prize and reception from the global ad community at the Cannes Int’l Ad Festival in 2009. What a tribute from the bosses of the hopelessly anachronistic ad industry which has so little diversity. But they got to feel better about themselves for coming together to elect our first black president.

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