That’s not funny!

Female “Vampire” Busted In Bloody Biting Attack

A Florida woman who claimed to be a “vampire” last night attacked an elderly man, biting him on the face and arm and tearing away chunks of his skin, according to police.

Josephine Smith, 22, was arrested today and charged with felony aggravated battery on an elderly person. Smith, seen in the mug shot at right, was booked into the Pinellas County Jail, where she is being held in lieu of $50,000 bail.

“I’m a vampire, I am going to eat you,” Smith announced before allegedly attacking Milton Ellis, according to an arrest affidavit.

Ellis, 69, received stitches to close up wounds suffered during the assault, which occurred in front of a vacant Hooters in St. Petersburg. Cops says Ellis, who uses a motorized wheelchair, was asleep when Smith pounced on him, commenced biting, and announced that she was a vampire.

The bleeding Ellis escaped his attacker’s clutches and called 911 from a nearby gas station.

When cops arrived, they located Smith–covered in blood and half naked–near the Hooters, according to a police spokesman. During questioning, she was unable to tell officers what had transpired outside the shuttered restaurant. Nor could she explain what had happened to her pants or why her panties were at her ankles.

According to her Facebook profile, Smith has recently studied “dental assisting” at the Fortis Institute in Pensacola, where she resides.

A real vampire would have bit him on the neck. She sounds more like a zombie to me.

This is an open thread.

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5 Responses to That’s not funny!

  1. Random. At least the 9/11 truthers have STFU for a while.

  2. Dario says:

    It’s not surprising, but it’s still upsetting to read the story.
    BW: The U.S. Economy Is Flashing Recession
    Payrolls, stock indexes, and GDP growth point to another contraction

    The U.S. may again be on the cusp of a recession. Stagnant payrolls in August added to recent data showing that manufacturing is slowing, consumer confidence is sliding, home values are falling, and bond prices are rising as investors shun stocks for the relative safety of fixed-income securities. “At this stage of the typical expansion we expect above-average growth and instead we are barely seeing any growth at all,” says James Hamilton, an economics professor at the University of California at San Diego who has advised Federal Reserve banks and studied what tips the U.S. into downturns. “We have to be worried.”
    September could mark the start of the slump, says Julia Coronado, chief economist for North America at BNP Paribas in New York, who predicts the economy will shrink at a 2 percent annual rate in the fourth quarter.

  3. Dario says:

    Obama’s job plan, even if passed, is a day late and a dollar short.

    CNBC: Bank of America Discussing About 40,000 Job Cuts

  4. Dario says:

    If it’s not one thing is another.

    WSJ: The Euro Threat to Obama

    A European failure to contain its debt crisis would be a monumental electoral setback for Mr. Obama. This is not just because Mr. Obama’s governing and economic philosophies are closely associated with the European economic model. Nor is it simply because Europe is a major U.S. export market. Rather, it is because a European failure is bound to have huge ramifications for U.S. and global financial markets.
    If there is any doubt on this score, all one need do is consider the U.S. financial system’s massive exposure to European banks. In a recent survey, Fitch Ratings Inc. found that, as of the end of July, the U.S. money-market industry still had over a trillion dollars of direct exposure to European banks—or roughly 45% of money markets’ overall assets. The Bank for International Settlement reports that American banks have loan exposure to German and French banks of more than $1.2 trillion.
    This overexposure to the European banking system should be keeping Mr. Obama awake at night. That’s because those European banks, in turn, are all too exposed to the $2 trillion sovereign-debt market for Greece, Ireland, Portugal and Spain—and they have yet to recognize the large loan losses that they are bound to experience on their holdings of sovereign debt.

  5. votermom says:

    Dario, any more of your good news and I might turn into a vampire.

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