I’m warning you now


One of the bad things about living in a small town is your doctor’s nurse goes to church with your sister so when the doctor says change your ways or die your mom knows about it before you get home.

Actually he said “Remember when you were thirty and you were warned that if you didn’t change your diet and start exercising you could be at risk for a stroke or heart disease in twenty years? Well, you’re fifty-one.”

I’m warning you now, this won’t be pleasant. I have to give up everything that makes life worth living. The only good thing is I never started smoking so I don’t have to quit that too.

What are your New Year’s resolutions?


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60 Responses to I’m warning you now

  1. elliesmom says:

    Not to make any resolutions.

  2. guest says:

    I have lost about 20-25 lbs in the last two years and almost (after 5 lbs more) back to how I looked 20 years ago. I put on most of my offending weight in 2008 but it had been creeping up since 2004. Anyway, I feel great! I fit into clothes better and it makes the world of a difference. May be because I am a woman. But my husband lost a ton and looks like a stick and he is liking it too. Change is good, πŸ™‚ You give up good stuff until you gain control of the weight but once you reach your goal, you know how to manage having good days with bad.

  3. Lulu says:

    I have had heart surgery- twice. I have my own medical study at the Texas Heart Institute since the other person in it died. I was told a month ago that I need to be able to climb stairs. Since I have not been able to do so for thirty years it should be interesting. I can walk 45 minutes non-stop at 3 miles per hour on a completely flat surface but they want me to climb stairs. Next they will tell me I need to take up boxing. Or skydiving so I can pass out from fright.

    Seriously listen to them but do it slowly and in moderation. You will feel worse before you feel better but the worse goes away pretty quickly.

  4. Zaladonis says:

    Never been big on New Year’s resolutions but I’m thinking 2012 might be a good time to start getting high again. Not sure that what’s coming is something I want to be quite this clear headed for.

  5. Myiq- Moderation- in all things- including moderation! Remember – the docs have now figured out what we have known for years- chocolate is good for you. Red wine is good for you. Remember that Jim Fixx guy that was credited with starting the jogging/running craze dropped dead of a heart attack- while running.
    Take it slow and easy- the stress brought on by abrupt change can be very bad. Change one thing at a time.
    Of course this could be selfishness on my part- what would I do without my daily klown fix?

  6. elliesmom says:

    Seriously, if your doctor’s nurse shared anything about your visit to the doctor with your sister, she’s in violation of HIPAA. I assume you told your mother yourself, and you’re kidding, but if you’re not, you might want to remind the nurse that she can’t do that w/o your permission the next time you go to the doctor. While you might not mind, other people certainly do mind when their privacy is breached. I mean, if I want a sex change operation, I get to tell my husband – not the nurse.

    • myiq2xu says:

      My sister is wired into this town like the DHS, FBI and CIA wish they could be. I don’t know who ratted me out – I can’t even prove I WAS ratted out.

      Skilled interrogators get you to confess.

      • myiq2xu says:

        Phone rings.

        Me: Hi mom, what’s up?

        Mom: I just called to see what you were doing. I called earlier but you didn’t answer.

        Me: I just got home.

        Mom: Where did you go?

        Me: Uh, the doctor.

        Mom: Is something wrong?

        Me: Just a check up.

        Mom: What did the doctor say? Is everything okay?

        Me: Uh, yeah.

        Mom: {{silence}}

        Me: Well, my blood pressure is a little high.

        Mom: How high?

        ***********

        You can picture the rest.

        • elliesmom says:

          What is it about guys that they are so intimidated by their mothers? My mom couldn’t get diddly squat out of me. lol

        • jjmtacoma says:

          I know this method {Eeeevil grin}

          Who needs water boarding? Just send in some moms and everything we ever needed to know will be out.

          Experienced Mom “Are you sure you were just ‘looking around’ in that cave? Who was with you? I don’t know why you would need guns for that… Oh, I’m not sure I think Rajeesh is the kind of guy you should be hanging around with. What did he say about that cave? Hmm.. ”

          Followed by blubbering, “Ok, ok, we weren’t *just* hiking with guns in that cave…”

  7. yttik says:

    From all the older people around me I’ve learned that the trick to a long and less painful life is to keep moving and keep active. It’s such a simple concept and yet so flippin difficult to pull off as you get older.

    I have a kid who works in rehab, Nurse Ratchet, and she has to drag people up and down the halls right after surgery for their own good. Even when you’re wounded and injured, getting moving is the key to healing. Pretty much everything about our bodies is a use or lose it proposition.

    • Lulu says:

      This is the absolute truth. And people think that if they are not performing at some high level of athleticism that they cannot move at all. It is slow and painful and frustrating but if people looked at recovery as their job for that period of time they can do it. Cardiac rehab is the best thing I have ever done. And I did it twice. It should be mandatory if someone goes to all of the trouble of have the old ticker fixed.

      • DeniseVB says:

        That high level of activity doesn’t get any higher than in the Marine Corps. Even as my husband got older he had to work harder to set the example for the younger men. Flash forward…..

        hip replacement, rotator cuff repairs, allergies, joint pain, arthritis, high blood pressure and cholesterol, etc, etc. on every legal drug for a better life through chemistry πŸ™‚ He does okay.

        As for me, the life long couch potato (heh), a pefect specimen of health πŸ˜€ Though several years ago, I began a daily walking routine for 30-60 minutes. And I smoke a half pack a day as a diet aid πŸ˜‰ (Well, have you seen those Chantrix commercials….scary).

        The moral of this story, there is no perfect lifestyle to stay healthy, we’re all different. The stress of worrying about it might be the biggest detriment to our health afterall.

    • ROFL! When I had the back surgery I shocked the nursing staff with my desire to get out of the bed and get walking right away. I made my husband stay so he could walk with me up and down the hall. Every hour, out of the bed, take the tour. When I got home I made the daughter take me every day to the walking path ( I was on driving restriction for three weeks) 1/4 mile a day for the first week, a 1/2 mile the next and so on.
      No Nurse Ratchets for me! (Though I think it all comes from my mom making me walk and walk and walk after emergency gall bladder surgery all those years ago. No way I wanted THAT again! See- there’s that Mom thing lol)

      • elliesmom says:

        When I had back surgery, I literally took my physical therapist into the operating room with me. She wanted to see the operation performed, and I gave permission provided she spent the entire day with me and helped me out of bed as soon as I was conscious. Such a deal!

  8. gxm17 says:

    My resolution for 2012 is to get through it as best I can and hope it doesn’t suck as much as 2011.

    myiq, the path to better health isn’t as terrible as it seems. You can still eat yummy stuff, it’s just not as convenient because you have to make/bake it yourself. Take it slow, find an activity you love to do (even if it’s dog walking), and just enjoy the adventure.

    Wishing you, and the rest of my political refuge friends, all the best in the coming year.

    • elliesmom says:

      I highly recommend dog walking. We walk a mile and a half twice a day, and she keeps up an aerobic pace except when she checks her peemail at the mailbox at the end of the street. But most of all, no piece of gym equipment expresses its appreciation the way Ellie does. The grandkid’s not a bad exercise partner, either. He and I like to exercise together using the Wii Fit, but he doesn’t lick my face or sleep on my feet quite the way that Ellie does.

      • gxm17 says:

        We inherited our dog when my uncle passed at the end of May. My 80-something mother is now walking Connie one hour per day (mom started at about 10 to 15 minutes). The great thing about dog walking is that there’s a pooch with big sad eyes making sure you don’t forget. πŸ™‚

  9. Lulu says:

    And if anyone reading is interested, I was given The Omega Diet book at the hospital ten years ago. It is technically a diet book but it is more of an education and suggestion manual on how to eat better. I had a congenital heart problem but gained weight as I became more inactive. It was very helpful and I lost 20 pounds the year after surgery and the weight never came back because I was much more active and felt better and cooked better. One improvement leads to another.

  10. Jadzia says:

    To find a job.

    • Best of the best luck to you!

      • Jadzia says:

        Thanks! It’s an uphill battle–my legal education is completely inapplicable here and even if it wasn’t, the practice of law is “restricted” here (i.e., citizens only). I could work in a corporate legal department, and that is what I want to do (if I HAVE to stay in this godawful profession), but hiring is slow because the economy sucks everywhere and the language is also a challenge. I’m actually applying both to professional-type jobs and to the kind of jobs I had before college (i.e., maid, child care, and that kind of thing)–anything is better than nothing and frankly I enjoy the “blue collar” work more.

  11. DeniseVB says:

    I’ll echo moderation and add ….

    There are health benefits to red wine and vodka, must be a reason peasants in Russia and Italy live to be a hundred ! Bonus points for mixing vodka with V-8 fruit and veggie drinks.

    Walking 30 minutes a day is not only good for your body, but your soul too. Walk more if you like, especially if you need to burn off more than you consume calorie wise.

  12. Susan says:

    To send out my Christmas cards from 2011!

  13. Two of my sisters are ICU nurses. I get the feeling every time I go home and I’m not in a wheelchair with an oxy bottle I’m letting them down somehow.

  14. jjmtacoma says:

    Getting older just sucks sometimes and it is even worse if your family knows about what you are “supposed” to be doing.

    I hope the changes you are “supposed” to make aren’t too horrible.

  15. trist says:

    Well Miq, if it’s about giving up booze, I can’t help ya there, was never a drinker, but if it’s food, then I can tell you as someone who’s changed the way she eats, you do not have to go without your favorite foods, you just have to learn to have them in a different way. It’s a shame they don’t actively advertise the healthier choices of foods out there. Like they don’t want people to know about them, but since I’ve made the effort to go looking now myself, I’ve discovered a whole world of alternative foods that I wished I’d known about before.
    Like I love spaghetti and ice cream. But as you know, both are pretty fattening, so I found things like Shirtitaki noodles which I can use to substitute for the pasta. And they have zero calories. So you can eat as much as you want of it. They also have some health benefits too. And Arctic Zero is an ice cream substitute I recently found. Which has like 150 cal. per pint, and no fat. And it actually tastes like ice cream.

    So again, it’s not doing without, it’s just doing it differently. And it’s not as hard as you think. The only thing that makes it hard is when you feel it’s not your choice, that someone else i.e. your Dr., family, who ever is making you do it. It’s all a mental readiness thing.

  16. DandyTiger says:

    So I got one of those types of calls from mom after recent heart checkup.

    Me: How are you doing?, how was the heart checkup?

    Mom: Fine. Lots of tests. More fine tuning of the pills I take.

    Me: Great.

    Mom: So you know how you say your heart flutters when you see young, beautiful models.

    Me: (hesitating) Yes.

    Mom: That’s not love, that’s atrial fibrillation like what I have. I’ve made you an appointment with my heart specialist for tomorrow.

    Me: (silence)

    Mom: Are you there?

    Me: {more silence) Yes. (looks to inventory of booze)

    Mom: You have to go.

    Me: OK mom.

  17. myiq2xu says:

    If y’all have noticed that I haven’t said much about Iowa lately there is a reason. A couple of them actually:

    1. I’m burned out on pre-game discussions. Tomorrow the regular season starts and the games are for real.

    2. Things are so crazy that I have no idea what will happen. I don’t think what happens tomorrow will decide the nomination.

    3. My check from Karl Rove hasn’t arrived yet.

  18. catarina says:

    Take care of yourself, oh cranky one.

    Me, I keep getting free signup emails from Weight Watchers online.
    Can’t figure out how I wound up on their list. Someone turned me in.

  19. Iowa is sort of fun in a completely irrelevant sort of way. It will matter in terms of momentum and shutting a couple of people out of the race, whether they actually know it or not, but I think it’s pretty minimal given it’s first event status. Mostly it’s a pundit blathering circle jerk.

  20. votermom says:

    OT: Hey funny peeps, enter this contest. πŸ˜€

    http://www.familyandpartygames.com/getloaded/

  21. driguana says:

    To pound hypocrisy at every turn….

  22. timothy says:

    myiq2xu
    remember reading awhile back that you dreamt of owning a little bar/restaurant. Do it. I fell into one by mistake. Was helping my brother and his partners out to get a place off the ground. Problem was everyone I hired was an idiot or a crook. So I started doing it to get it done. Work 7 days a week from noon to 3am but it is a breeze. Blue collar place where you can get 4 beers for 5 dollars. Small kitchen with some basic bar eats. I have never had such satisfaction from a job. I live upstairs and wake up when i want to and take my time getting everything done. Sole employee at the moment and realize eventually I will need/want a day off. hospitality industry is entertainment and would wager you’d be a perfect fit

  23. Three Wickets says:

    On the health thing, what you want to do is avoid the uninvited wake-up call if possible.

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