Don’t read this post unless you want to be pissed off

It started last week with objections to Chris Brown appearing on the Grammy Awards show Sunday night:

I’m Not Okay with Chris Brown Performing at the Grammys and I’m Not Sure Why You Are

I’m sick and tired of people acting like it’s no big deal that Chris Brown will be performing at the Grammys.

I’m frustrated that the mainstream media is covering this story like it’s any comeback story, like an exiled prince’s return to a former glory, like this is another political timeline — as though some rich and powerful old white men in the music business have not just issued an enormous ‘f**k you’ to every woman who has been, is or will be on the receiving end of domestic violence.

We should be furious.

Why aren’t we?

I mostly ignored the controversy because I’m cynical and I accept that the way it ought to be ain’t the way it goes. Justice is rarely seen in the vicinity of money and fame. That doesn’t mean I think it’s okay, that’s the way it is.

Then Buzzfeed reposted these tweets:

Call me crazy buttttttttt I would let Chris Brown beat me up anyyyy day

Everyone shut up about Chris brown being a woman beater… Shiiiittt he can beat me up all night if he wants.

Chris brown… Please beat me 😉

I don’t know why Rihanna complained. Chris Brown could beat me anytime he wanted to.

I’d let chris brown punch me in the face

ok not gonna lie i’d let chris brown beat the eff out of me

Chris Brown could serenade me and then punch me in the eye. I’m down for it.

Dude, Chris brown can punch me in the face as much as he wants to, just as long as he kisses it (:

Are you pissed off? If you’re not, you oughta be.

Chris Brown is not a nice guy with an anger management problem. He is a homicide waiting to happen. Unfortunately he will apparently have no problem finding a victim.

Just for the record, this is what Brown did to Robyn F. (aka Rihanna):

“Brown was driving a vehicle with Robyn F. as the front passenger on an unknown street in Los Angeles. Robyn F. picked up Brown’s cellular phone and observed a three-page text message from a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with.

“A verbal argument ensued and Brown pulled the vehicle over on an unknown street, reached over Robyn F. with his right hand, opened the car door and attempted to force her out. Brown was unable to force Robyn F. out of the vehicle because she was wearing a seat belt. When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against he passenger window of the vehicle, causing an approximate one-inch raised circular contusion.

“Robyn F. turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused Robyn F.’s mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.

“Brown looked at Robyn F. and stated, ‘I’m going to beat the s–t out of you when we get home! You wait and see!'”

The detective said she then used her cell phone to call her personal assistant, Jennifer Rosales, who did not answer.

“Robyn F. pretended to talk to her and stated, ‘I’m on my way home. Make sure the police are there when I get there.’

“After Robyn F. faked the call, Brown looked at her and stated, ‘You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I’m really going to kill you!’

“Brown resumed punching Robyn F. and she interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows forward to protect her face. She then bent over at the waist, placing her elbows and face near her lap in [an] attempt to protect her face and head from the barrage of punches being levied upon her by Brown.

“Brown continued to punch Robyn F. on her left arm and hand, causing her to suffer a contusion on her left triceps that was approximately two inches in diameter and numerous contusions on her left hand.

“Robyn F. then attempted to send a text message to her other personal assistant, Melissa Ford. Brown snatched the cellular telephone out of her hand and threw it out of the window onto an unknown street.

“Brown continued driving and Robyn F. observed his cellular telephone sitting in his lap. She picked up the cellular telephone with her left hand and before she could make a call he placed her in a head lock with his right hand and continued to drive the vehicle with his left hand.

“Brown pulled Robyn F. close to him and bit her on her left ear. She was able to feel the vehicle swerving from right to left as Brown sped away. He stopped the vehicle in front of 333 North June Street and Robyn F. turned off the car, removed the key from the ignition and sat on it.

“Brown did not know what she did with the key and began punching her in the face and arms. He then placed her in a head lock positioning the front of her throat between his bicep and forearm. Brown began applying pressure to Robyn F.’s left and right carotid arteries, causing her to be unable to breathe and she began to lose consciousness.

“She reached up with her left hand and began attempting to gouge his eyes in an attempt to free herself. Brown bit her left ring and middle fingers and then released her. While Brown continued to punch her, she turned around and placed her back against the passenger door. She brought her knees to her chest, placed her feet against Brown’s body and began pushing him away. Brown continued to punch her on the legs and feet, causing several contusions.

“Robyn F. began screaming for help and Brown exited the vehicle and walked away. A resident in the neighborhood heard Robyn F.’s plea for help and called 911, causing a police response. An investigation was conducted and Robyn F. was issued a Domestic Violence Emergency Protective Order.”

This entry was posted in Domestic Violence, Sexism and Misogyny and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

50 Responses to Don’t read this post unless you want to be pissed off

  1. Lola-at-Large says:

    I believe I’ll puke now.

  2. Glenn McGahee says:

    But it was all just a misunderstanding. He was very sorry I’m sure.
    Where is the outrage?

  3. Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy says:

    I did not watch the Grammys specifically because they had invited back Chris Brown. Rihanna was performing as well. Who does that? Invite someone’s batterer to be there? Never mind what he did 3 yrs ago at his last performance…

    It is frustrating, to put it mildly, that these men continue to get pass after pass after pass. Heck. Mike Tyson got released from prison after raping a woman because they wanted him to box.

    The message continues to be very clear to women, and these tweets just demonstrate how much we have failed women in our society…

    • myiq2xu says:

      Margaret Atwood, the Canadian novelist, once asked a group of women at a university why they felt threatened by men. The women said they were afraid of being beaten, raped, or killed by men. She then asked a group of men why they felt threatened by women. They said they were afraid women would laugh at them. – Molly Ivins

      • votermom says:

        OT Myiq, you have to check this out. LMAO

      • Rabble Rouser Reverend Amy says:

        That sums it up beautifully. That is the difference…

        I still cannot get over these tweets – the 2008 Election really opened my eyes to the misogyny that was just below the surface. Not that I was naive – I fought for women’s rights, ERA, was in a ton of marches, all of that, and honestly thought things were getting better. And in some ways they are, but the attitudes toward women in this country scare the bejesus out of me…

    • Karma says:

      No kidding. Who does that? Invite the batterer. This quote probably explains it, apparently the Grammys were the victims.

      And, this week, Grammy producers confirmed that Chris Brown will be performing on Sunday’s show.

      “We’re glad to have him back,” said executive producer Ken Ehrlich. “I think people deserve a second chance, you know. If you’ll note, he has not been on the Grammys for the past few years and it may have taken us a while to kind of get over the fact that we were the victim of what happened.”

      Read that quote again. Think hard about what is being said. Here is what this quote says to any woman who’s ever been abused.

      – By blacklisting Chris Brown from the Grammys for a “few” years (actually, a grand total of TWO Grammy Awards), the Grammys have gone above and beyond expectations for the social exile of an adult man who hit his girlfriend so hard she went to the hospital, and honestly it was really, really hard for them to show even that much support for victims of domestic violence worldwide.

      -It was rather thoughtless of Rihanna to go and get herself hit in the face by her boyfriend, because it’s put such a burden on the Grammys. Maybe if she hadn’t made such a big fuss out of it, things could have been easier for everyone.

      -The Grammys think that they were the victim of Chris Brown hitting Rihanna in the face.

      -The Grammys. Think. That they. Were the victim. Of Chris Brown. Hitting. Rihanna. In the face.

      (this might format wrong)

  4. votermom says:

    Thank you for blogging this, myiq. I couldn’t – it would set me off too much. And it’s invaluable to have a guy speak up and say “WTF dude you are insane.”
    If Chris Brown had done that to a man, how would he not be in jail?

    • Lola-at-Large says:

      Absolutely on the men speaking up. More, please!

      • myiq2xu says:

        Between family and criminal law I worked on over 100 cases involving domestic violence. In most cases it was an argument that got physical and the violence was minor – pushing, grabbing, a single slap.

        I only worked on two cases where there were multiple punches with a closed fist.

  5. Three Wickets says:

    Tangential, but someone brought this up on facebook yesterday. Objections to Reauthorizing the Violence Against Women Act

  6. foxyladi14 says:

    Happy Valentine’s Day.Crawdaders. 🙂

  7. HELENK says:

    this hits home today. A co-worker of my grand daughter was found dead on Friday due to domestic violence. She was a young woman whose life was cut short due to some toad that thought he was a big man.
    Domestic violence in NOT acceptable EVER.

    • murphy says:

      I’m so very sorry to hear that Helenk. What a horrible crime it is to kill someone in their prime of life for no reason at all other than megalomaniacal sadism. I wish your granddaughter and the young woman’s family well.

    • DandyTiger says:

      Sorry to hear. Here in C’ville we’ve got a very public trial going on where the boyfriend killed the girlfriend. Sad as hell.

      • murphy says:

        DandyTiger, my daughter’s TA was in the jury pool for the Huguely trial but was, no surprise, not picked. She says the murder is still fresh on students’ minds and the trial is raking it all up again. Lots of people at the University are appalled at his rumored defense strategy– that they had a “passionate fight” and he left because she was so upset, that they both pushed each other and that her adderal “addiction” may have caused heart problems. Sickening.

      • gxm17 says:

        You’re in C’ville? I’m following the Huguely trial. If he walks, I will totally flip shit.

      • DandyTiger says:

        I’m not sure what’s involved in the “flip shit” of which you speak, but I’ll probably do the same. 🙂

      • HELENK says:

        thank you. My grand daughter is handling it by talking to her friends about domestic violence and how it should never be accepted and if they see someone in danger because of it , speak out and reach out.

        • votermom says:

          Prayers for your granddaughter & her friends – there is always some survivor guilt when something like this happens. I hope the murderer gets the book thrown at him.

        • Karma says:

          Speak out and reach out. A very touching way to honor her co-worker by possibly saving someone else. It’s no small task to make the second suggestion. And yet, if more people did maybe it could help turn the tide on domestic violence. This Grammy thing certainly didn’t help.

          Truly sorry for such a loss.

  8. murphy says:

    Good god, I never knew the extent of Brown’s attack on Rhianna. I saw a photo of her face soon after the attack and thought that was pretty effing horrible, but reading the police report is truly terrifying. A homicide waiting to happen, indeed.

  9. HELENK says:

    this behavior seems to be ok with government workers. Aside from the initial outrage, the fact that one woman would put another woman in this position turns my stomach.

  10. DandyTiger says:

    It’s bad enough that Chris Brown is clear a horrible fuckwad who will most certainly kill someone some day. But what’s really troubling is the way he is excused and held up as a good role model by some. WTF?

  11. yttik says:

    Ha! I wonder how many people read this thread title, “don’t read this unless you want to be pissed off” and thought, hmmm, I’m a bit short on pissed offedness today, I think I better go read this!

  12. HELENK says:

    Iowa Hawk

    Candy+Love=Valentines Day. Candy+Fear=Halloween. Candy+Stupidity=Election Day.

  13. votermom says:

    So I’m thinking, if OWS is Obama’s anti-Mitt strategy, contraception controversy must be his anti-Rick strategy.
    What’s the anti-Newt plan?

  14. FembotsForObama says:

    Thanks for posting your opinion on this and your vital experience. I saw this on the New Agenda and could hardly believe the comments from these girls!!! WTF is wrong with them? It saddens me to hear these girls think so little of themselves. I’m sure they are walking around in their 5″ heels and the miniskirts that barely cover their asses thinking it will never happen to them. That account of Rhianna’s experience needs to be made into some song or included in the Vagina Monologues. Yes, this does happen to women and no amount of sweet kisses makes up for it. Stupid girls!

  15. HELENK says:

    sometimes I can not stand women. They are the worse enemy of other women. This is the second story I read today about women not standing up for other women. The first was about the TSA idiot I posted upthread

    • HELENK says:

      getting real scary in this country isn’t it.

    • mothy67 says:

      That is pure insanity. I was informed by the school that my charge wasn’t eating her entire lunch. Kid told me they had tried to make her on a couple of occasions. Warped. if she is not hungry I don’t want anyone force feeding her. She is healthy and very active. Thankfully they didn’t go overboard just applied a little pressure and I guess a child’s relationship with food can be very telling. Thing is we just don’t do big meals except for breakfast. Normal dinner is divided into three meals.

  16. mothy67 says:

    I was watching a woman on Anderson the other day(I know I know, but I couldn’t find the remote and he is on after Ellen) who is facing five years in prison for shooting her husband in self defense she was acquitted on the murder charge but she then took his gun out of his hand and shot him a few more times. Very sad compelling story. Anyhow he was a New York cop and she lived for years in fear and anguish. Criminal psychologist said that the abuser senses when the victim is preparing to leave and that is when it generally escalates to death. Horrific that there are so many women who squirrel away small amounts of money so that they can one day flee. Thousands live in shelters with their children in hiding in our backyards. Donations are always welcome and needed at those places. I drop things off at a convent and they distribute.

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