Bury me at Mickey D’s

The Triple Bypass Burger

All red meat is bad for you, new study says

Eating red meat — any amount and any type — appears to significantly increase the risk of premature death, according to a long-range study that examined the eating habits and health of more than 110,000 adults for more than 20 years.

For instance, adding just one 3-ounce serving of unprocessed red meat — picture a piece of steak no bigger than a deck of cards — to one’s daily diet was associated with a 13% greater chance of dying during the course of the study.

Even worse, adding an extra daily serving of processed red meat, such as a hot dog or two slices of bacon, was linked to a 20% higher risk of death during the study.

“Any red meat you eat contributes to the risk,” said An Pan, a postdoctoral fellow at the Harvard School of Public Health in Boston and lead author of the study, published online Monday in the Archives of Internal Medicine.

Crunching data from thousands of questionnaires that asked people how frequently they ate a variety of foods, the researchers also discovered that replacing red meat with other foods seemed to reduce mortality risk for study participants.

Eating a serving of nuts instead of beef or pork was associated with a 19% lower risk of dying during the study. The team said choosing poultry or whole grains as a substitute was linked with a 14% reduction in mortality risk; low-fat dairy or legumes, 10%; and fish, 7%.

Previous studies had associated red meat consumption with diabetes, heart disease and cancer, all of which can be fatal. Scientists aren’t sure exactly what makes red meat so dangerous, but the suspects include the iron and saturated fat in beef, pork and lamb, the nitrates used to preserve them, and the chemicals created by high-temperature cooking.

I do not care.

Look, I’m gonna die anyway, so as long as I am alive I intend to live happily ever after. So what if I could live another twenty years if I went vegan. Those years I’ll be missing will be the ones where I’d be sitting in a rest home eating creamed spinach and crapping in a pair of Depends anyway.

I might die a few years early, but I won’t have to worry about global warming, oil depletion or how to pay for my retirement. I’m not even worried about how to pay for my funeral. That’s somebody else’s problem.

This is an open thread.

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44 Responses to Bury me at Mickey D’s

  1. votermom says:

    I approve of this message. 😀

  2. DeniseVB says:

    Eat Well
    Stay Fit
    Die Anyhow. 😀

  3. yttik says:

    Be kind of funny, what if participating in studies shaved 19% off your life?

  4. WMCB says:

    Feh. I have lived long enough to see conflicting studies come and go. Meat/eggs/dairy/salt/sunshine/antibacterial soaps/bathing/running/weight lifting are good, they are bad, no one knows.

    I believe in moderation and variety. It seems to me, from my observation over the years, that fads of eating almost exclusively this or that is what causes the most problems. Red meat every day? Likely not so good. But then, some future study will likely show that nuts or broccoli EVERY day is bad as well.

    Moderation. Variety. Common sense.

    • Lola-at-Large says:

      Or eating a shotgun shell, a la Hemingway. I mean, some people wanna see it coming and that’s their choice.

  5. T says:

    Seriously. What good is living longer if you can’t have…well anything…We aren’t even supposed to breathe the air. I have no kids to be a burden to, so living to be old would be no fun…. Over-living is over-rated. I’d rather die younger while enjoying myself.

  6. yttik says:

    My secret to a long life is to remember that only the good die young.

  7. DandyTiger says:

    For your legal reading pleasure (Virginia stuff):


  8. driguana says:

    So now according to the left, what’s left? Vegan sex???

  9. DandyTiger says:

    I like my buffalo skill kicking and screaming on the bun.

  10. HELENK says:


    a piece of history encyclopedia britannica will no longer print books.
    It will be strictly digital now

  11. HELENK says:

    I found a website that has coupons for CHOCOLATE. a must for a good life.

    does that footlong meatball sandwich I just had count??

  12. LiVo says:

    Last I heard there’s 100% chance of mortality, but that’s only if you have a heartbeat.

  13. Lola-at-Large says:

    FTR, this article, if not this study itself is anti-science. You will never find a person adhering to the letter and the spirit of science using the word “All.” I’d like to see the study itself so I can determine for myself, But I read it earlier and it rang all sorts of alarm bells. I’m with WMCB. Everything in moderation, just like my momma told me.

  14. HELENK says:


    i guess it depends on where you live if this is good for your health or not

  15. elliesmom says:

    My dad lived to be 90 eating two to three dozen eggs a week. When the studies came out saying that eggs are bad for you, his response was “Some cereal company must have paid for the study.” And he was right. I wonder if this study was funded by “the other white meat”.

    • insanelysane says:

      Do we even have that kind of common sense anymore?

      Your dad had a good BS meter.


  16. DandyTiger says:

    If I agreed with them, then we’d both be wrong.

  17. yttik says:

    The way Obamanomics are going, we may all have to be buried at Mickey D’s.

  18. Oswald says:

    Right now Sanctimonium is winning the Dixie primary.

  19. SophieCT says:

    Maybe someone should tell Steve Jobs. Oh, wait…

    Yes, Lola, the bells are ringing. What hogwash. Unfortunately, even “reputable” news sources like NPR are reporting it.

  20. Lulu says:

    With food inflation in an election year it very handy to have a study available to state that which we cannot afford to eat what is supposedly not good for us. How fucking convenient.

  21. myiq2xu says:

    Looks like it’s gonna be Rick – Newt – Mitt in both states.

  22. ralphb says:

    This soundtrack album should be a big hit, Hunger Games…

Comments are closed.