Please, please, please keep helping out your preferred candidate, Barack Obama. We, the people know you’re as skittish as abused kittens, ever fearful that your Precious Once will be taken away. You’ve been kicked when you were down before. I mean, what else would you call the insult of 2004 after Election 2000? Some of us felt your pain back then. So we understand your skittishness and are only slightly amused by it. We’re not mocking you with our amusement; we’re just starting to feel the first fiery licks of satisfaction in our cold, empty bellies.
That satisfaction stems from watching you freak out and try to take the reigns yourselves, sure your preferred candidate could fuck it up after these last few weeks. I mean, let’s face it: he has. And it’s been…interesting, to say the least…to watch the realization dawn on you that Obama is just not that talented. He’s got one move and that’s it, and he played it in 2008. You carried water for him in 2008 because it was fun; now you feel you have to. So, seriously, if you could keep people like Andrea Mitchell pulling stunts like this, we would appreciate it.
Because we’ve learned a thing or two since you started practicing “advocacy journalism.” Namely we’ve learned how to harness the power of new technologies to make sure you never get away with your shenanigans again. Within an hour of Mitchell’s fabricated smear campaign, we learned the truth:
And you ended up with egg on your faces. And now we’re all up in those faces, just like you were in 2008. The chickens are coming home to roost. They’re scheduled to arrive on November 6, 2008. That’s the day we will fire Barack Obama, and a slew of other incumbents who’ve long needed to go.
But we couldn’t have done it without you. If you hadn’t become the cohesive group of friendly insiders (Journolist, anyone?), if you didn’t wear your rotten hearts and your designers sleeves, we might never have figured out how shallow and corrupt Washington and the press really is. Those of us who did know might have been cowed into a sense of disempowerment, too depressed to do much about it. Because of your obvious bias and failure to even pretend professionalism, we can all see now exactly how you manipulate the game. The blinders are off, and people are pissed. So really, thanks, and keep up the good work. Because of you, one Obama promise has been fulfilled: more transparency. I don’t think this is what he had in mind, however.