Vote for Zomney

Joss Whedon:

“You know, like a lot of liberal Americans, I was excited when Barack Obama took office four years ago. But it’s a very different world now, and Mitt Romney is a very different candidate. One with the vision and determination to cut through ‘business as usual’ politics’ and finally put this country back on the path to the zombie apocalypse. Romney is ready to make the deep rollbacks in healthcare, education, social services, and reproductive rights that will guaranty poverty, unemployment, overpopulation, disease, rioting – all crucial elements in creating a nightmare zombie wasteland. But it’s his commitment to ungoverned corporate privilege that will nose-dive this economy into true insolvency and chaos. The kind of chaos you can’t buy back. Money is only so much paper to the undead. The 1% will no longer be the very rich, it’ll be the very fast. Anyone can run, fight, make explosives out of household objects or especially do parkour of any kind – you’ll want to stick with them, unless they read Ayn Rand.

Look, I don’t pretend to see the future. No one knows for sure if they’ll be the super-fast 28 Days Later zombies or the old-school shambling kind. But they’re out there, and they need brains. So, whether you’re a small business man just trying to keep his doors open, a single mom so concerned for her son’s welfare that she’ll run to embrace him when he’s clearly infected and going to bite her. Or a strung-out ex-military type, who’s been out there too long and is taking the kind of damn-fool chances that’ll get us all killed, you need to ask yourself, ‘Am I ready? Am I ready for the purity and courage of Mitt Romney’s apocalyptic vision?’ Mitt’s ready. He’s not afraid to face a ravening, rasping hoard of sub-humans, because that’s how he sees poor people already. Let’s all embrace the future, stop pretending we care about each other, and start hoarding canned goods. Because if Mitt takes office, sooner or later, the zombies will come for all of us. ”

Well there you go. How can anyone argue with that?

“O-ba-ma! O-ba-ma! O-ba-ma!”

This entry was posted in Uncategorized, Zombies and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

56 Responses to Vote for Zomney

  1. DM says:

    But does that mean that Obama will make nice with the zombies by feeding us to the zombies?

  2. DeniseVB says:

    Can Zombies vote? Join a union? Then Obama will take care of them!

  3. myiq2xu says:

    Spinning Polls, Obama Campaign Gets Testy with Reporters

    Leading Obama campaign strategists addressed reporters gruffly on a hastily convened conference call this morning, attempting to spin drifting poll numbers into a coherent message. “We’re winning this race,” senior political strategist David Axelrod insisted, citing early voting data. He warned: “You’re gonna get spun and spun and spun in the next week,” as if he were not spinning reporters himself, attacking the opposition vehemently.

    This is the time of an election year when polls go from being unreliable to being completely worthless.

  4. fif says:

    Isn’t it quaint that they see Romney as unfeeling and uncaring and Obama somehow “feels their pain?” Based on what? Speeches, certainly not actions.

  5. O on tv now- he “got a full briefing” on the storm.
    HMMM- no briefing on Ben-Ghazi though.

    • ME says:

      Amazing isn’t it? Cancels campaign and tells us he’s being briefed on a storm. Well, where were you while your representative was being assassinated? Whether he was incompetent or up to no good he was derelict in his duty. He needs to tell us WHERE he was during the LIbya terrorist attack and WHAT he did. No spin or empty words. What did you do?

    • foxyladi14 says:


  6. myiq2xu says:

    • DeniseVB says:

      My favorite Hot Buttered Rum recipe to toast doom and gloom, or just for those wintry days too, or any other great excuse…..

      in a mug:

      tsp molasses
      tsp dark brown sugar
      1 pat real butter

      cover with Capt Morgan spiced rum, up to half the cup (according to taste, ahem)

      Fill with boiling water, stir til butter melts. Top with Rediwhip if there’s enough room left in the cup. I always miss this part, so just shoot it into my mouth 😉


  7. myiq2xu says:

  8. DandyTiger says:

    I’m commenting from under the bed. Safe from zombies, from storms, and from political commercials. Why didn’t I think of this last week…

  9. DM says:

    Gallup: RR 51 – OB 46 = 5 The spread yesterday was 4

    The one point increase is due to Romney gaining and Obama staying flat.

  10. myiq2xu says:

  11. t says:

    Don’t you love how he filmed this in a quaint kitchen to make himself look like something he’s not — a 99%-er? Note the lack of homey affairs, nothing on the shelves in the dining room, etc. I wanted to see him wash the cast iron, which would prove if he REALLY knows how to wash dishes (you don’t use soap on seasoned cast iron). Whedon writes fantasy…full stop.

  12. myiq2xu says:

    Jarrett: Obama to Change Washington by Spending More Time Away

    Senior adviser Valerie Jarrett said that in a second term, President Obama would change Washington by spending even more time away from D.C.

    “I think everybody grows. Everybody matures. Everybody develops their, you know, their confidence,” Jarrett said of the first term in an interview airing this morning on MSNBC.

    “As I think one of the things that he has said upon reflection is that he’s going to spend a lot more time traveling around the country,” she said after a New Hampshire rally. “A day like today is energizing, and the American people are hungry to be engaged and he wants to be able to spend more time doing it. And that will hold Congress accountable.”


  13. yttik says:

    After all the devastation from the Obamanation of the past four years, a zombie apocalypse sounds like a refreshing change.

    “….will guaranty poverty, unemployment, overpopulation, disease, rioting..”

    WTF do these people think Obama has delivered??! Well, I guess the rioting part was a bit wimpy. We had some anarchist Occupiers smash some windows, but I wasn’t very impressed. The poverty, unemployment and disease however, has been delivered splendidly.

    • yttik says:

      There was a rumor that gas prices were going to drop 50 cents in blue states just in time for the election. It sounded like an urban legend to me, but nope, gas just plunged 50 cents this morning where I live. Nobody at the gas pump was impressed. They called it “election bullsh$t.”

      • Gas is down to $3.59 here. But that is not the weird part.
        Last week- all in one day- it went from $3.89 to $3.69 to 3.29 to 3.39 and finally to the 3.59 – it has been stuck there since Thursday.
        People here know it is election BS- and if they don’t I make sure to inform them.

      • leslie says:

        Thanks, yttik.
        I’ll fill up after work. It may only last a few days before the ultimate leap FORWARD!! (really upward)

    • ‘May Delay’- yup- if it makes him look bad they won’t release it. How convenient for this storm to blow through- otherwise they would have had to blame a computer hacker or burn the building down.

    • yttik says:

      It’s kind of a shame they won’t release it because then Obama could brag about the alleged .0002346% drop in unemployment, which really just serves to piss unemployed people off.

  14. propertius says:

    Someone’s “hoarding” zombies? Not only that, but they’re apparently “hoarding” a “horde” of them!

    You learn something new every day.

  15. That presser he just did i sort of making me feel tin foily. All the focus on how long it is going to take to recover, how long the power “might” be out and how they have all the essentials prepositioned……
    Nah. No way would they declare martial law over a hurricane. RIght?

  16. swanspirit says:

    Thanks , sitting in Sandy central by myself is not really that great ; I am about six miles inland of Ocean City , so it is not as bad as O.C. itself . We lost our pier , but it has been rebuilt before .
    We did have one classic Ocean City story . Evidently a boat came loose of its moorings , and was about to crash into someones house on the bay side , so the homeowner took a rifle and shot holes in the boat to sink it before it crashed into his house .
    Here are some pics of my neighborhood , Oceanburbia ok it is really Ocean Pines 🙂 so far so good and knocking on wood

    • gram cracker says:

      Dang! Looks like water is already swirling around cars and houses there. Are you expecting the storm surge to reach your area?

    • Glennmcgahee says:

      Do not be complacent. Hurricanes, even Cat 1’s are serious and can spawn twisters and the flooding is really sudden, we in Florida are still having flooding and the storm is way past us.

    • djmm says:

      Stay safe, Swanspirit!

  17. t says:

    One bright side for Sandy victims: The storm is so close to the election that folks are guaranteed to get good post-storm care from govt. #smallfavors

  18. leslie says:

    Everyone, please take care of yourselves… Sandy or not.

  19. gram cracker says:

    For those whose power co is Dominion here is a link to see outage map. We used this to find out if the power had come back on before returning to the house after the five day outage four months ago.

    My daughter and her family are checking into a hotel in Rosslyn by the Metro for the next few days. Their power seems to go out if a butterfly flaps its wings too close to a power line. Grammy will rest better knowing they will be safer there than in their tree surrounded house.

    Even here in SW Ohio we may get 50+ mph gusts. I’m getting the natural gas powered faux wood stove fired up in case we lose power here.

  20. gram cracker says:

    Here are some good news for myiq and Dandy.

    The next time you’re inclined to enjoy an extra glass of wine, consider that it may be a reflection of your intelligence.

    That is one of the findings from data from the National Child Development Study in the United Kingdom and the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health in the United States.

    More intelligent children in both studies grew up to drink alcohol more frequently and in greater quantities than less intelligent children. In the Brits’ case, “very bright” children grew up to consume nearly eight-tenths of a standard deviation more alcohol than their “very dull” cohorts.

  21. myiq2xu says:

    Watching the news (Megyn Kelly) and they are showing the waves coming in. It reminds me of when El Nino hit California in the winder of 82-83. There were sandbag brigades in Santa Cruz trying to prevent flooding, and surfers out in the water.

    When a reporter asked one of the surfers why they weren’t helping with the sandbags he said, “Dude! When will we see waves like this again?”

  22. Erica says:

    Hey everyone in Sandy territory: Take good care of yourselves and be careful out there!

  23. westcoaster says:

    Zod in his kitchen:

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