Crazy Joe Cannon:
A couple of weeks ago, Papa John’s Pizza CEO John Schnatter made headlines when he said that he would have to cut back hours and/or raise prices on his products in order to pay for Obamacare. The price rise threat never made much sense: New health care regulations will cost the company (says Schnatter) between five and eight million bucks per year, which he can cover with a price rise of four cents per pie. Besides, I was always under the impression that, under capitalism, prices are determined by competition.
Well, I’ve been doing some research. Turns out that Papa Johns operates in a place called Canada, where Big Obtrusive Nanny State Gummint offers — get this — full, socialized health coverage. And yet the restaurants seem to be doing well!
Now that we’ve exposed Schnatter, I think we can point to another deep cover Marxist agent: John Metz, who operates 40 Denny’s restaurants in Florida. He told the media that he was going to add a five percent “Obamacare” surcharge to the bill. Are you wondering how a price rise of a few cents could turn into a five percent surcharge? Well, y’see, that was all part of Comrade Metz’ scheme to fool the public into believing that Denny’s favors capitalism.
Turns out that Dennys is also open for business in Red Canada, the hellish wasteland where the Bolshevik hordes crucified John Galt. The company seems able to run restaurants (now serving “Frodo’s Pot Roast Skillet”) despite the menace of socialized medicine.
One little problem with Joe’s theory: Canadian Health Care is not connected to employment. It is paid for from income taxes. Employers contribute nothing.
But other than that, he’s dead on. The Canuckistanis are big ol’ commies. (The main color in Canada’s flag is red, right?)