Talk Like A Pirate Day Open Thread

Arrrr, mateys! Surrender the booty!

About Myiq2xu - BA, JD, FJB

I was born and raised in a different country - America. I don't know what this place is.
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30 Responses to Talk Like A Pirate Day Open Thread

  1. lyn says:

    This song was played at the end of last night’s episode of “The Bridge.”

  2. DandyTIger says:

    How many pirates does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Four. One to hold it and three to drink rum till the room starts spinning.

  3. DandyTIger says:

    A pirate limps into a bar with a squirrel hanging out of his pants holding a steering wheel. He says to the bartender, “Me squirrel is driving me nuts!”

  4. What has 12 arms, 12 legs and 12 eyes?

    A dozen pirates.

  5. Somebody says:

    What did the pirate say when he got his peg leg stuck in the freezer?

    Shiver me timbers!

    What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?

    A sunken chest with no booty

  6. Speaking of Pirates, I discovered an internet fountain of youth. Uninstalled all my Adobe programs and got back 35 years worth of update time!

  7. helenk3 says:

    is California still part of the USA?
    we have senators that want arm al qaeda and disarm Americans
    now passing out the Constitution is unlawful
    we arrest landscapers who do not have a license but say you do not have to be a doctor to perform an abortion
    we give illegal immigrants drivers licenses and spend $650 million a year just in one country on them but cut services

    I am so confused

  8. helenk3 says:

    just got a reply from Dianne Feinstein to my 2nd e-mail over Syria.
    same form letter I got in response to my 1st e-mail over syria

  9. driguana says:

    A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!”
    “What do you mean?” the pirate replies, “I’m fine.”
    The bartender says, “But what about that wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”
    “Well,” says the pirate, “We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I’m fine, really.”
    “Yeah,” says the bartender, “But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands.”
    “Well,” says the pirate, “We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really.”
    “Oh,” says the bartender, “What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes.”
    “Well,” says the pirate, “One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye.”
    “So?” replied the bartender, “what happened? You couldn’t have lost an eye just from some bird shit!”
    “Well,” says the pirate, “I really wasn’t used to the hook yet.”

    • wmcb says:

      That is freaking hilarious. What’s funny is that their main stock-in-trade is fear of social rejection. Once I reached the point where I Just. Do. Not. Give. A. Flying. Shit. What. You. Think. Of. Me. it became quite easy to make them panic. “Ohhh Noooes! The bad things I am calling this person are not working like they’re supposed to! They are supposed to cringe when I call them racist/womanhater/dumb/hick/redneck! Is the magic words!”

      Fuck. You.

  10. Constance says:

    Wow! As usual Gowdy chases down the liars and exposes them. So I if Hillary is innocent in the Benghazi incident why is she withholding information. To me Benghazi makes Hillary unelectable.

  11. angienc says:

    Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite Grateful Dead song?

    A: You’d think it would be “Ship of Fools” but really, it’s Dark StARRRR.

    Here’s one of my fav Dead songs that I was thinking about today, “The Wheel.”

    Small wheel turns by the fire and rod/Big wheel turns by the Grace of God.


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