Sunday Morning Funnies

gary-varvel-5-20-13

A labor union rep walks into a bar next door to the factory and is about to order a drink to celebrate Obama’s victory when he sees a guy close by wearing a Repeal ObamaCare button and two beers in front of him.

He doesn’t have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican. So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, “Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Republican.”

Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Republican gives him a big smile, waves at him, then says, “Thank you!” in an equally loud voice. This infuriates the union rep.

The union rep once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, “Thank you!”

The union man once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, “Thank you!”

The union man asks the bartender, “What the hell is the matter with that Republican? I’ve ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the silly ass does is smile and thanks me. Is he nuts?”

“Nope,” replies the bartender. “He owns this place.”


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About Myiq2xu

I was born and raised in a different country - America. I don't know what this place is.
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46 Responses to Sunday Morning Funnies

  1. driguana says:

    Happy Fall to everyone! I think it’s my favorite time of the year…still waiting to see if South FL fits the autumnal bill.

    • Somebody says:

      South Florida autumn? May I suggest a road trip. You will get a faux autumn as in cooler temps, but not until most likely sometime in January, maybe late December. BTW enjoy those couple of weeks while they last because they come and go fairly quickly. A lot depends on how far south you are, but south of I-4 doesn’t really have an autumn or a winter that’s what I-95 is for!

      Helpful hint, tons of people flood into North Carolina in late October to peep at the leaves. You can find equally stunning foilage vistas with far less crowds in north Georgia or north Alabama, but the leaves there usually turn in November not October.

    • elliesmom says:

      Up here in Yankeeland we’re bracing ourselves for the onslaught of “leaf-peepers”. For the next two months the roads to western MA and north to NH and VT will have a lot more weekend traffic. The good news is we get Cape Cod back to ourselves.

    • cynic says:

      My favorite time of year as well. Just picked apples from our trees, roasted acorn squash for dinner, Indian corn and gourds decorating my house from seeds I planted……

      In IL, the Chicago Tribune would publish ‘Injun Summer’ by John McCutcheon every year. As a child, I always looked forward to that Sunday paper. They decided to quit publishing it in the early ’90’s, as some were offended by it.

      I found a framed one in an antique shop, and it gets brought out every Sept. to decorate my house, and I smile every time I look at it; such wonderful childhood memories.

      http://www.tkinter.smig.net/Chicago/InjunSummer/

    • DeniseVB says:

      One year we spent Thanksgiving with my son’s family in Ft. Lauderdale and it was so freakin’ green and tropical, just not the same eating turkey in shorts and a tank top. Relatives in St Augustine go to the NC mtns to get their fall fix 😀

      • driguana says:

        I have built outdoor fires on every solstice and equinox all of my adult life. Last night was the first time that i sat around a celebratory autumnal seasonal fire sweating!!!! It was a bit bizarre.

    • Constance says:

      Fall is my favorite season too.

      • driguana says:

        And I have to add that living in Santa Fe NM the last 38 years, fall was without a doubt the most special time there!! It was just awesome.

        • elliesmom says:

          It’s awesome in New England, too. It’s so awesome it’s a major tourist attraction. lol When I’ve lived in other parts of the country, I’ve enjoyed autumn there, too, but it’s hard to explain what makes it different here. I think it’s the combination of the kinds of trees we have and the weather. We can wake up to frost in the morning and be in tanks and shorts after lunch. It makes the air feel crisp and clean. While the foliage is beginning to turn in Northern Kingdom aka Vermont, we’re still green here. Our peak will come around Columbus Day. But the apple crop is in.

    • kanaughty says:

      we have lived on the west coast, the mid atlantic states and now the south. i have to say the most beautiful fall was in middle maryland along the catoctins. the leaves’ colors were phenomenal!

      we did have all the seasons in the northwest but there was so much rain in the fall that you couldn’t notice how beautiful all the leaves were that were falling off the deciduous trees. but also maybe there just are too many fir trees for the northwest to be as beautiful in the fall as maryland was.

      and then when the cherry blossoms start to bloom in maryland, that was also the most beautiful spring i have ever witnessed….

  2. driguana says:

    autumn leaves….

  3. The Klown says:

    If you want to suffer:

    • swanspirit says:

      I have already suffered enough , just channel surfing and catching Donna a Sasquatch wouldn’t want her Brazile discuss what a wonderful President Hillary Clinton would make , and how inevitable it is that Hillary will run , and how 2008 didn’t derail the train for Hillary , just slowed it down . My stomach actually turned .

      • Lulu says:

        I still hope Brazile will go to prison one day (along with her cellmate Karl Rove). And Hillary will continue her retirement and have a wonderful, acclaimed, productive non-political old age. Then I wake up.

  4. The Klown says:
  5. DeniseVB says:

    A review of Miley’s recent Las Vegas performance, seems she’s become the Sarah Palin of the music world, they just don’t get her and living rent free in their heads …. lol. This reviewer asks “is she (Cyrus) just a cute, young Andy Kaufman?”

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/music/2013/09/22/why-miley-cyrus-isnt-as-crazy-as-you-think-she-is/2848917/?csp=fbfanpage

  6. The Klown says:
    • DeniseVB says:

      NBC is stupid for getting rid of Leno, they should keep him through the 2016 election anyhow. His ratings are knocking the socks off Letterman and Kimmel right now.

      Letterman’s jokes read like a mean girl .

  7. foxyladi14 says:

    Leno is funny Letterman is just nasty. 🙄

  8. driguana says:

    Looking forward to Halloween

  9. driguana says:

    Having just taken 8 plane trips in the last month, I’ve really come to dislike a number of things about traveling by air. Some smaller regional airports like Albuquerque, Louisville, Cincinnati, Ft Lauderdale are actually very nice and more or less friendly. I guess it’s when you get into the big airports like Dallas, Atlanta, Chicago, NYC that they start to get somewhat difficult.

    That being said, there are two things that I really don’t like about airports these days:

    1. People on cell phones….I really don’t care if your nephew is sick or your business appointments are screwed up! It’s not pleasant to have to listen to everyone talk so loudly on their cell phones about their personal or business lives!!! It’s an odd phenomenon that when people talk on cell phones that they have to yell! I try to stay as far away from someone on a cell phone that I can.

    2. The way people dress when traveling these days.!!! It really is loathsome sometimes to be sitting next to someone in their pajamas or some guy in his cutoff shorts and muscle shirt!

    There use to be some dignity and joyfulness in flying…guess that’s gone…

    Fortunately when I travel with my Down Syndrome son he is usually in a wheelchair and we can board early and get off early and people are generally very respectful. Still, there are those who stare!

    My rant for the morning.

    • t says:

      Welcome to the everyday world when you use mass transit. Planes are apparently becoming more like buses ;-).

    • DeniseVB says:

      We can’t fly with our special kid since he would never let go of his “bag” for the TSA, otherwise he turns into a “rain man” rant monster. (My other son, an air marshal, gave us that advice). Fortunately, he loves train and car travel.

      Funny story though about air travel …. my Broadway musical buddy and I were headed to New York last spring, she had a free airline ticket and I took the train. I got there 6 hours ahead of her. 😀

    • Propertius says:

      Welcome to my world – 66 plane trips so far this year.

  10. DeniseVB says:

    Have you guys been keeping up with this story ? 300 Special Snowflakes trash former NFL player’s home, he puts their photos on FB, now parents are made at him, that story?

    http://gothamist.com/2013/09/22/few_teens_who_trashed_ex-nfl_player.php

    • helenk3 says:

      yes I have. The player and his son were on TV. He is handling it better than I would. He wants them to learn from their mistake. One kid did come back to his home and admit what he did was wrong and went to work helping to clean up the mess. 1 out of 300. pretty bad parenting among that bunch. The parents have no suit,but if they try I hope he takes them to the cleaners just for being stupid and too lazy to teach their kids right from wrong

  11. wmcb says:

    People who say this kind of thing do peaceful Muslims no favors. The problem will never be solved until Muslims themselves face it squarely, with more response than just “It’s nothing to do with Islam, and nothing to do with me.”

    • wmcb says:

    • 1539days says:

      The problem with Islam is political. Most Arab (and Persian) countries are using Islam as a means to a political end. Secular leaders are too afraid to talk against religious extremism and the religious ones are all too happy to claim some divine right of kings.

      There are no authoritative Muslim groups that have declared terrorist sympathies as heresy against Islam. Until that happens, moderate Islam does not exist, because it is only two degrees from “radical” Islam.

      • wmcb says:

        There are no authoritative Muslim groups that have declared terrorist sympathies as heresy against Islam.

        Yep. Also, the few who do speak out merely condemn “violence agaisnt innocents.” There is no full-throated assertion that Islam is NOT about political triumphalism and conquest by force – whether sword or legal. There is no insistence to the angry mullahs that “you are apostate and a stain on Islam.”

        Watch, because they choose their words carefully. They may condemn the specific act (often because other Muslims were killed), but never the mindset.

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