#Shutdown – Life Beyond Thunderdome


Date: October 1, 2013
Location: Underground Bunker

To whom it may concern:

I am writing this in hopes that some future generation will find it and learn our fate. Last night, our government shut down. Surprisingly I still have electricity and internet, but there is no telling how much longer it will last. I have enough food and water to hold out for about six months. Unfortunately I only have a few weeks worth of beer.

A little while ago I went outside to do some reconnaissance. It was eerily calm and quiet. The widow next door waved at me and said “Hello” all friendly and stuff but I didn’t fall for it cuz I know she was an Obama supporter. So I shot her and left the carcass laying in her driveway for the other cannibals to find.

I don’t know why the government shut down. The news people said it was the Tea Baggers that caused it, but I also heard that President Obama refused to negotiate with terrorist Republicans. They told me that if I voted for Mitt Romney this would happen.

I should have listened.

I just wish I knew how to make methane out of pig shit. It’s gonna be cold this winter.

About Myiq2xu

I was born and raised in a different country - America. I don't know what this place is.
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107 Responses to #Shutdown – Life Beyond Thunderdome

  1. 1539days says:

    Where did you get a gun to shoot your neighbor? Must be what happens when lawlessness reigns. People start getting their rights back and shit.

  2. wmcb says:

    dot dot. dot dash dash dot. Dot dot dot. dash dot dash.

  3. DeniseVB says:

    Hey, yeah, internet’s working. I’m good 🙂

  4. can’t get MSNBC today—-govt should shut down more often!!!!

  5. The Klown says:
  6. The Klown says:

    Guess who?:

    Nevertheless, it is the law. It was cobbled together by industry lobbyists, watered down by Republicans, made all but useless by committees and obstructionists and hyper-religious nutcases who would easily agree to condemning a whole generation of Americans to the brink of poverty in order to romanticize the fetus, then voted on by both houses of Congress and signed by the president as his “signature accomplishment”. He and his party are like gleeful children coming home from school with shiny stars on their chicken scratching artwork, insisting that we stick it on the refrigerator door forever.

    But the Republicans have to shut down government over this meh bill because they are part of a cult and their followers are part of a cult. I honestly believe this because I lived it when I was a kid. The leaders know what they’re doing. Ok, maybe they let it go a little farther than they intended to this time. But the followers really don’t have a clue. All they know is that the right wing noise machine and its spokesman gives them permission to entertain their secret desires. Every time they get crazy and get away with it, they get validation that they’re right and good.

    I’m reading the new book on Manson right now and I can’t help but see parallels in the way Manson brought forth what was within his followers and gave them permission to do whatever it was they felt like at the moment. They lived in the now because the world was going to end soon and they would live through it by hiding in a hole in the ground in the desert. When the dust settled, they would live as evolved beings in a paradise where they would rule forever. So, what did it matter what they did in the present, especially if it accelerated the end of times? Anything goes.

    That was Susan Atkins’ philosophy when Sharon Tate begged for her life. Atkins told Tate she had no mercy for her. Michelle Bachman’s comments about shutting down the government last night has that familiar ring

    You’re supposed to work out your childhood issues before you hit 30

    • I know you have your issues with her, and honestly, many of her opinions don’t appeal to a more centrist person like myself, but I have to say this about the shutdown—–a POX on both houses. I can hardly stand to listen to either side these days.

      The R’s would have you believe that Obamacare is the worst thing that could befall our democracy. They may in the end be right, but who knows? We haven’t really seen what the reality will be, just alot of scaremongering among all of the scant data so far.

      But the D’s are worse because of their arrogance that they are right and everyone else is wrong. I think that the D’s are extremely irresponsible. Sure the incoming fire to them has been deadly, but they really haven’t addressed any of the legitimate issues and criticisms except to say that they are coming from a bunch of racists. Demonizing the opposition doesn’t bolster your own case.

      I am sick of it all!!!

      • t says:

        Her emphasis is too heavily on the Republicans. The Democrats enacted a law that really terrorizes the people it was supposed to serve. The Republicans are doing their best to only make it worse for the same group. For me, the evil is equal. They’ve all joined the same Manson cult.

      • wmcb says:

        NO, RD is doing her same shit of obsessing on her shitty shitty mother and transfering that to every religious person, ever.

        She has an utterly delusional view of anyone religious. Pathologically so. Whatever her mother did to that woman, she ought to be shot. Because she fucked her up BAD.

        RD needs some damn therapy to deal with that, and not project it on everyone else.

        • Constance says:

          Mothers are convenient scape-goats for every thing in the world yo don’t like. Her Mother was probably fine but everytime RD has a non sanctioned thought she needs to blame it on someone.

        • votermom says:

          A quote from some movie: “Nature or nurture? Or, as I like to call it, blame the mother.”

      • Sandress says:

        Word, Cynthia.

    • angienc says:

      Sharon Tate begged for the life of the fetus inside her. Funny how she left that part out, huh?

    • DandyTIger says:

      Um, obambamcare was passed with 0 repub votes, How was it watered down by them exactly?

      • wmcb says:

        Rovian MInd Rays. Look it up.

      • wmcb says:

        Democrats are excused all their crony corporatist bullshit, and their sexist and racist bullshit, because it’s never really them doing it, it’s that they were helplessly overtaken by RepublicanThoughts.

        But they themselves are pure. Their BadThink is still the Republicans’ fault.

        • DandyTIger says:

          And if they eliminated Repubs, it would then be certain types of Dems. A new Them. And if they got rid of that group, it would be the next group of Them. Forever. It’s tribalism, and sacrifice to the gods to prevent the bad stuff. It’s what children do. It’s what victims do.

        • The Klown says:

          The Republicans have done plenty of shitty things over the years too, but this one doesn’t belong to them. The Democrats are the sole proprietors of Obamacare.

          Blaming Obamacare on Romney and the GOP is like stealing a gun to kill someone and then blaming the owner of the gun for murder.

        • Sandress says:

          Dandy, they don’t need to eliminated the Repubs for that. Don’t you remember what they think of “certain types of Dems”? You know, the working class, the elderly, those of us who were never invited to be in the Pepsi commercial that was the O campaign. They’re like Cersei Lannister: Everyone who isn’t us is an enemy.

          Jeez, it makes me break out in hives just thinking of the elect Hillary next rhetoric so many of them are pushing these days. What, the same old white bitch that we hated eight years ago, except EVEN OLDER now? What’s not to like?

      • trixta says:

        If I understand it, Obamacare is really the Republic version (i.e. devised by the Hoover Institute) of “Hillarycare.”

    • Lulu says:

      A sponge has to be what a sponge has to be. During the last shutdown I was essential but the public thought we were closed so we did catch-up work. It was great.

      • DeniseVB says:

        I was never affected by shutdowns, but hated when I was considered “essential” during blizzards and hurricanes.

        • Lulu says:

          Yeah and working the day before Christmas and Friday after Thanksgiving when private employers let workers off. I think they let them off now but back then we had to have a minimum of half of every position on duty.

        • elliesmom says:

          Before I went to bed last night, I told Ellie I am a non-essential employee, but she’s not buying it.

        • The Klown says:

          My boss said “I don’t know how we could ever get by without you, but starting tomorrow we’re gonna try.

    • t says:

      It is a plot to kill them. See this item specifically:

      “Astro Doughnuts & Fried Chicken “will offer one free doughnut with any doughnut or chicken purchase to any federal or District government employee if the shutdown goes into effect. The offer is limited to one per person and employees must show ID to redeem.”

      A donut IF you buy their fried chicken too? Should be considered a terrorist act ;-).

  7. DeniseVB says:

    The Humanity ! Panda Cam has been shut down ! 😉


    I feel sorry for those families who may have planned a visit to DC this week, all the Smithsonian Museums have been closed. What a shame. But the museums that charge admission will do well (NatGeo, Spy, Newsuem, etc.)

    • I was thinking the same thing myself. All of those folks who have saved up for a trip to DC!! However, they will be able to talk about their experience for the rest of their lives, and you’re right, there are alot of private things to do to fill up the time in a great way.

  8. wmcb says:

    Seen on another blog in comments, but yep.

    I feel like an adult in a nation of children. Adults make choices. Children expect wishes to be fulfilled. The only thing that scares me is what happens when a nation of children hears the word “no” for the first time in their lives.

    • Monster from the Id says:

      Back to an old favorite nom de Web.

      Probably the Reptilians should be scared the most, given how the 1995 shutdown backfired on their predecessors.

      The Dinocrats should rejoice. As Napoleon said, “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” 😈

  9. votermom says:

  10. Lulu says:

    So it begins. “Milwaukee County wants to send employees to health insurance marketplace”. It would save the county 10 million per year.

  11. Gojoyknocks says:

    Thankfully my dump run looping through Acadia National Park, resplendent this time of year, is still open.

  12. Lulu says:

    “This time the House has attached a poison pill that would punish 16,000 congressional staff,” he said.” Harry thinks ZeroCare is punishment. LOL. http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/325679-senate-quickly-rejects-house-latest-funding-measure#ixzz2gT8eJBa3

    • DeniseVB says:

      That’s what I don’t get, Boehner wanted NO ONE expempt from Ocare, that’s what the Dems got pissy about. So who’s really looking out for the rest of us schmucks throwing in our share ? Not the Dems !

      Not sure how we’re affected except Tricare raised our premiums, co-pays, deductibles …. at least we get to keep it, now we’ll see if our doctors are still available. Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm.

  13. DeniseVB says:

    Ayup ….

  14. DeniseVB says:

    Stolen from Facebook:

    It seems like just yesterday…

    We had a fully functioning, gentle, all-knowing and all-caring government helmed by the greatest human being to ever walk the face of the planet. Even greater than Jebus. I personally witnessed the man cure over nine thousand children of cancer by touching them on the forehead. Everyone was taken care of, and nobody wanted for anything. Sunshine glistened every day off the morning dew, as the Skittles shitting unicorn blazed across the rainbows in the sky, bringing joy to all.

    Then the Republicans attacked.

    Led by the demons Boehner and Cruz, they destroyed it all. Within minutes of THE END OF ALL GOVERNMENT™, people were dying in the streets from lack of social security payments and free health coverage. Grandma died on the spot. Giant SUV’s rolled into the cities and ate all the Smartcars and Volts, dooming our atmosphere to bleed off, like Mars’. All the solar panels morphed into coal plants without carbon caps. The resulting acid rain melted the Skittles unicorn as the children looked on, their own eyes boiling out from the toxic sludge falling from the sky. The Delta Smelt immediately went extinct. Guam capsized and sank into the sea; a real modern day Atlantis. The pandas ate the PandaCam. AR-15’s grew legs and started walking around, shooting people at random.

    There were even people eating what food they wanted, walking down the streets drinking Big Gulps and eating a Big Mac! The horror! The horror!

  15. DeniseVB says:

    ….and on the First Day:


    Shuttering the monuments too? I visited all of them last spring and I barely remember seeing NPS guys hovering around, mostly volunteer docents to answer our stupid questions.

    Just about every news article I’ve read on the shutdown has mentioned the Panda Cam. Are a nation of numbnuts or what?

  16. votermom says:

  17. Constance says:

    OMG! OMG! This is just as bad as the sequestration! How will I ever get on with my life?!

  18. DandyTIger says:

    I’m somewhere in Virginia. All is quiet. Luckily I found the entrance to the underground bunker where they keep the aliens. Good news, I’m safe and warm and there’s light up ahead. The bad news is there is a hissing sound, and canisters are starting to open.

  19. votermom says:

  20. gxm17 says:

    I’m stuck at home with bronchitis. Just hoping they stay shut down long enough for me to enjoy a traffic-free commute. Oh, the luxury I’m missing out on!

    • Lulu says:

      I had blood work done at the doctor’s office this morning. It was a madhouse. They said everyone is trying to get everything done before January 1 when everything is #@(&#! up.

      • Sandress says:

        I’m just trying to get everything done before next year’s deductible starts over, who knows how big it’ll be this year. My “Cadillac health insurance” which gives me roughly the same standard of care I received in Canada, maybe a bit better in predominantly stupid ways, is getting cut down and jacked up in price. I’m a socialist, and I think everyone should have the same level of healthcare. Perhaps I should have specified that that level should be “good”.

  21. votermom says:

  22. wmcb says:

    The fussycons are out in force, tsk tsk-ing and handwringing:

  23. driguana says:

    Might be an absolutely perfect moment to ask “Just what exactly is the role of the Federal government?”

  24. driguana says:

    Interesting to see all of the gun analogies being thrown around by people who spew hatred for gun analogies thrown around by others than themselves….we’ve truly entered the twilight zone….I don’t see any guns in use at the moment….

  25. votermom says:

    BenK’s post at aoshq is bitingly funny


  26. votermom says:

  27. votermom says:

  28. The Klown says:

    Ho Lee Phuc!:

    Americans will pay an average premium of $328 monthly for a mid-tier health insurance plan when the Obamacare health exchanges open for enrollment next week, and most will qualify for government subsidies to lower that price, the federal government said on Wednesday.

    Am I reading that right?

    $328 per person
    2 in your family $656/month
    3 in your family $984/month
    4 in your family $1,312/month
    5 in your family $1,640/month
    6 in your family $1,968/month

    “Government subsidies” means someone else’s tax dollars.

    • votermom says:

      Subsidies only for those w/ household incomes below 50K, from what I’ve heard.
      Families will literally be choosing between rent/mortageg & obamacare.

    • SHV says:

      That’s just the tip of the iceberg. It will be awhile to see how it will work but basically it seems to be high premiums for junk insurance; high deductible, co-pays and 60% payment coverage. Best I can tell, there is no protection from balance billing. Not clear how the total out of pocket costs will apply.

      • wmcb says:

        They all cheered because lifetime costs can’t be capped anymore, Of course, there is still the matter of annual caps, which they ignored to sucker the rubes.

        LIMITLESS LIFETIME! (BUt, uh, 10,000 max annual.)

  29. votermom says:

  30. votermom says:

    So creepy

  31. votermom says:

  32. wmcb says:

    Obama tried to be a dick and tape off the WWII memorial, even though it’s an open park and needs no “staff.” Honor flight vets having no part of it.

  33. Propertius says:

    I don’t suppose this means the NSA can’t afford to spy on us anymore, does it?

  34. trixta says:

    “Unfortunately I only have a few weeks worth of beer.”

    And I’ve got a case and a half of both wine and beer (left overs from a party this summer), so this stash should last me about a year.

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