It’s Festivus!!


Frank Costanza: “Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.“
Cosmo Kramer: “What happened to the doll?“
Frank Costanza: “It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!“


Get your poles out of the crawl space, it’s Festivus!

Every year on this day we celebrate Festivus here at The Crawdad Hole. Yeah, it’s stupid, but it’s a tradition.

The Airing of Grievances will start tonight around 5 p.m. Tijuana time. As usual, I gotta lot of problems with you people!


festivus_pole_kit

The Festivus Pole


About Dr. Myiq2xu

Unless President Donald J. Trump pulls a hat out of a rabbit real soon, on 1/21/21 I will wake up in a socialist banana republic.
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78 Responses to It’s Festivus!!

    • NewOrleans says:

      I’ve noticed Phil’s ‘happy, singing cotton-picking blacks’ comments have conveniently being ignored in the whole ‘freedom of speech’ spectacle.

  1. The Klown says:

    Excellent article:

    But here you have sort the opposite: the false erection of a fourth wall. Everyone on a reality program knows they are being filmed, but they go to great lengths to pretend they are not being filmed. A true reality show would have people going back and watching themselves on TV and everyone else and responding to how they were behaving. And that might actually be interesting. Imagine you had an argument with someone and then you could see yourself later having the argument? Would you continue to believe you were right? Would you decide the argument was silly in the first place? Or imagine that a star asks the camera operator if he or she saw something pertinent to the plot of the episode? That could be interesting.

    And that is pretty much the dividing line between “reality” shows I like and the ones I hate. I enjoy an American Idol or similar show because the existence of cameras is part of their reality. It’s un-intrusive, but everyone knows it is there. But most “reality” shows erect a false fourth wall that makes no sense and in turn the existence of cameras alters their reality in ways they never acknowledge (except in those confessional moment when they talk directly to the camera, of course). Has there ever been a moment on a reality show where someone said, “Snooki is just acting like that because the cameras are there, and she wants to be famous for being crazy”? No, not that I know of. They pretend that the camera is not there, they pretend the fact they are on television has no influence on their behavior.

    And that is kind of getting at a really important point.

    The “fourth wall” concept is similar to the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. The act of observing affects the thing observed.

    Would you act the same way and say the same things if there was a camera crew standing in your living room recording you?

    • threewickets says:

      Yes I believe MTV originally invented the new drama format with Real World to cut costs with ‘cheap’ non Hollywood talent. But Bravo, A&E, and everyone else have obviously taken it to new and exciting places since then. And where the popular zeitgeist goes these days, politics and activism will follow.

    • Lulu says:

      Obviously if affects the behavior. How often do the reality stars pick their nose or scratch their ass or yank on their bras? Never! Because they are acting.

  2. threewickets says:

    Everyday is Festivus for those in training for the Victim Olympics. I look forward to our evening workout. 🙂

  3. The Klown says:

    Pajama Boy Nation by VDH:

    Half the country may have already tuned Pajama Boy nation out. Millions more or less don’t watch TV other than older movies and a few episodes of some serial like The Sopranos or Breaking Bad. Most expect just three things of today’s Hollywood celebrities: they are mostly spoiled and uneducated; they are very rich; and in their boredom they will find a way to annoy those without their money.

    We also find the grating nasal-twanged voices of our young talking heads on the news shows a tip-off that all their over-clever rhetoric is never grounded in reality. We have no idea whom MTV is awarding, or why, and couldn’t care less. We are sick of slick slightly pornographic commercials, and sicker still of the crude left-wing Victorians who push sex down our throats, but can’t handle a caricatured hick talking just as graphically as they do — but about sodomy in a way they don’t appreciate. Which is the cruder: to see a three-quarters naked Miley Cyrus on national television stick a huge foam finger toward the anus of one of her performers or to read that a bearded reality star in overalls finds vaginal sex preferable to anal sex — and then tells us why?

    Most don’t watch Oprah. Rap is a sort of occasional bothersome grate overheard at the service station or parking lot. No one goes to the movies to watch another tired Hollywood script of a courageous liberal maverick who fights the cancer-causing, stream-polluting, CIA-intriguing [fill in the blanks] corporation — as the actor is paid millions by the corporation producing the movie for his few hours of mediocre work. Company men and women don’t play renegades well anymore.

    We accept that the law is mostly fluid, depending on whether you are one of the noble suffering or the bad and incessantly grasping: sanctuary cities are noble places where federal immigration laws can be safely ignored. Try that with the Second Amendment and you’ll be summarily jailed.

    There is a growing tiredness with Pajama Boy nation. Millions are sick of being lectured, caricatured, and slandered for their supposed pathologies by the Sandra Flukes of the age and those in their pajamas who still grasp with two hands their hot chocolate. Add all their annoying Stalinist efforts up — to selectively going after Chick-fil-A or the Washington Redskins or Duck Dynasty — and the public is becoming tired of the shrill nerdocracy.

  4. The Klown says:
    • DandyTIger says:

      That game made me feel much better about the Packers loss. The Bears can suck it.

    • DeniseVB says:

      Wow, the Cowboys are going to have their work cut out for them. I think the game with the Eagles is going to be for the playoffs? Yikes.

    • helenk3 says:

      the Eagles are not allowed to lose to the cowboys. we make them hitch-hike back if they do.

      GO EAGLES

      • DeniseVB says:

        A few years back, my husband and his friends went up to Philly to catch a Cowboys-Eagles game and were warned to leave their Dallas Fanboy stuff at home and NEVER cheer for the Cowboys. His greatest memory of that game were the fights breaking out all around him, which he remembers being more entertaining than that game. 😉

  5. The Klown says:

    Wow!

    • The Klown says:

      They gave me three “closest matches” – Fresno, Denver and Wichita. I have lived most of my life within 1 hour of Fresno, and my mom’s family came from Kansas.

      • votermom says:

        It didnt really work for me- I guess as an immigrant I pick up tv/radio standard which put me in NE cities

        • gxm17 says:

          It didn’t work for me either. The test said I was from the midwest. I was born and raised inside the beltway and the farthest west I’ve traveled is Cleveland, Ohio. Apparently the Harvard folks are unaware that there’s a Washingtonian accent (pronounced with an “r” of course).

        • Jadzia says:

          Me either — probably because we moved a LOT when I was a kid. I’ve totally lost my original Yooper accent except when talking to family, and imported various words from the other regions where I’ve lived. It gave me Des Moines (never been there, but lived 3 years in MN), Reno (lived there as a 3-year-old), and Tacoma (lived in Seattle for 1 year and Portland on 3 separate occasions).

      • elliesmom says:

        It gave me Boston, Worcester, and Providence. All within a hundred miles of each other. While I was born in the middle of that triad and live here now, I’ve lived other places. I recognized the vocabulary used in those places, but when the moving truck left Interstate 90 (the Mass Pike as we call it) in Worcester (Wuhstah), I promptly reverted to the language of my childhood. “Roundabouts” became “rotaries”, the “water fountain” became a “bubbler” again, and “islands” popped up in the middle of streets. My Boston accent has softened a bit from its exposure to the mid-west and the Middle Atlantic states, but I never could get used to being related to “Ants”. I looked up where Mark Harmon is from when I heard him call “Ziva” “Ziver”, and I was surprised to see he isn’t from Boston. That’s part of the Boston accent I lost along the way.

      • threewickets says:

        I got Colorado, Kansas, Missouri. Interesting since I was a kid in Asia and Africa, and an adult in NYC and SF. But my teen years were spent in the Midwest and let’s face it, the dazed and confused years are the most formative. 🙂

      • leslie says:

        It listed 3 – one in which I have never lived or spent time, another through which I have driven and the third – where I grew up.

      • swanspirit says:

        It gave me Montgomery ,Alabama , Jackson, Mississippi and Baltimore Maryland , and I was born and raised in Baltimore 🙂

    • Ann says:

      This knew exactly which city I grew up in!

    • Lulu says:

      It could not do a map for me. LOL. It did make me realize that some of our local names for things are very uncommon or French. Some of the individual ones were correct by general region. We call the middle of a street with grass or trees and shrubs an esplanade. No word for a course for dumb-asses. We call carbonated drinks by brand name as in Dr Pepper. It was interesting to take.

      • elliesmom says:

        The large green area between Storrow Drive, a major thoroughfare in Boston, and the Charles River is called “The Esplanade”. It’s miles long and absolutely beautiful. There are marinas and boat houses, the Hatch Shell for outdoor concerts, and the view across the river is the Cambridge skyline. We lived in the city when my daughter was an infant, and it’s where I used to walk her. I haven’t always been a hick from the sticks. lol

        • Lulu says:

          I think Boston uses the correct application for the word. I don’t think we do but we don’t care. The locals call one of the streets that goes around the old huge park Rue Foryt which is not the current name of the street.

    • DandyTIger says:

      Not even close for me. I blame TV. And SP. And living in CA.

    • Constance says:

      Wow, I got Seattle, Portland/Vancouver, Spokane. Very accurate.

  6. Erin says:

    I seemed to have confused it. I tried twice and got an error message.

    • DeniseVB says:

      I got the error message too. I grew up in the Northern Virginia area, which is a mixing pot of dialects. Take that Harvard 😀

      • elliesmom says:

        There were somethings that we have no word for in the Boston area, but I recognized what they were called other places I lived. But if I used them around here, no one would know what I was talking about so I left them behind. My mom always sent us out to play in the “dooryard”, but people in Chicago teased me unmercifully about that one so much, I lost it out of my vocabulary. A “dooryard” is the area outside the house where you can still be seen from the door. Which meant stay close to the house. Don’t go wandering off. Makes perfect sense to me. lol

        • The Klown says:

          When I was in the army a guy referred to a drinking fountain as a “bubbler” and I had no idea what he was talking about.

        • Jadzia says:

          “Dooryard” confused the HELL out of me the year that we lived in upstate Maine. Not least because my teachers’ accents were so thick that I couldn’t even understand what they were trying to say.

      • Lulu says:

        I just took it again and I talk exactly like Phil Robertson.

  7. The Klown says:
  8. The Klown says:
  9. fif says:

    Happy Festivus! It’s Festivus for the rest-of-us!

  10. The Klown says:
  11. The Klown says:
  12. helenk3 says:

    http://freebeacon.com/men-of-the-year/2013-man-of-the-year-mitt-romney/

    2013 man of the year Mitt Romney

    a lot of buyer’s remorse going on now in this country

  13. The Klown says:

    Don’t step in the bullshit:

    President Barack Obama has signed up for health insurance through an Affordable Care Act exchange, the White House said Monday.

    In what an official acknowledged is a “symbolic” move since the president gets his medical care from the military, Obama selected a low-cost bronze plan through the District of Columbia exchange. He made the pick over the weekend while vacationing in Hawaii.

    Obama “was pleased to participate in a plan as a show of support for these marketplaces which are providing quality, affordable health care options to more than a million people,” the official added.

    But Obama did not directly sign up for insurance. Rather, his staff went in person to sign him up, an official told POLITICO.

    “Like some Americans, the complicated nature of the president’s case required an in-person sign-up,” the official said. “As you’d expect, the president’s personal information is not readily available in the variety of government databases HealthCare.gov uses to verify identities.”

    Obama signed up for coverage only for himself and not for the rest of the first family, and will pay a premium that’s under $400 per month, the official said.

    Senior adviser Valerie Jarrett told American Urban Radio Networks that the president is “leading by example” by selecting coverage before the deadline to get coverage that takes effect on Jan. 1.
    (Emphasis added)

    How much you want to bet that insurance company execs flew to Hawaii and met with Obama staffers to sign him up?

  14. foxyladi14 says:

    From the comments. 🙂

    Essentially, since Obamacare is itself a hardship we should all get a hardship waiver. Period.

    Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/here-are-the-14-ways-you-may-qualify-for-an-exemption-to-the-individual-mandate-2013-12#ixzz2oKavNSOL

  15. DeniseVB says:

    Oh snap !

  16. The Klown says:
  17. The Klown says:
  18. DeniseVB says:

    OK guys, had never heard of Duck Dynasty til the GLAAD fauxrage, so I tuned in last night with my bar low since all the photos I had seen of the menfolk looked like “Chumley” (Pawn Stars) relatives. I. Am. Hooked. What a fun show. I can see why it is so endearing to a lot of people.

    When Phil took his little granddaughters out to teach them to fish, I was ROTFLMAO. ( Besides Pajama Boy, what guy wouldn’t be impressed you can bait a hook ladies?) The scene was precious. Telling them the worm is happy to die when you put the hook through their heads, priceless!

    • elliesmom says:

      My husband is a big DD fan, and he screens and records them for me. He knows which ones I will love and which ones will make me say “Meh”. He wants me to like it so I only get to see the very best episodes. He always records the ones with Phil and the grandkids. And any episode that has a boat stuck up in a tree.

  19. helenk3 says:

    http://weaselzippers.us/?p=165383

    if backtrack had a son , he would be fighting for a pair of Air Jordans

  20. The Klown says:

    I am going to see American Hustle in a little bit. If I’m not back you may start the Airing of Grievances without me.

    That was a hint.

  21. mothy67 says:

    Link above doesn’t work. Sorry it was Obama on wrecking ball

  22. piper says:

    LOL – Christmas Group Therapy

  23. helenk3 says:

    Pat Caddel backtrack thinks he has the right to lie to you

  24. westcoaster says:

    MoveOn is its old sweet self- now even the New York Times is against surveillance while MoveOn stays put:
    http://www.commondreams.org/view/2013/12/23-0

  25. westcoaster says:

    “A Carol For Another Christmas” (1964) was on TCM a few days ago. It’s a twist on Scrooge written by Rod Serling and with Peter Sellers (as Imperial Me). There is a section about the future where a man is charged with treason for “subversion of the individual Me” by wanting to debate and discuss rather than killing dissenters and creating the “civilization of I” (1:02:00-1:16:00). It’s supposed to show the liberals as the understanding ones, but in the past few years that idea has been turned on its head.

  26. helenk3 says:

    http://www.bizpacreview.com/2013/12/23/moms-15-year-bus-stop-cookie-tradition-shut-down-by-one-complaint-90122

    sometimes I really do not understand people.
    this is like that atheist group that stop the toy donations for kids.
    neither one replaced what they stopped with anything good because they could. that is just mean, and sick

  27. The Klown says:

    OH. EM. GEE!!!

    If you are gonna see a movie over the holidays, see American Hustle!!! It is easily the best movie I have seen all year.

    Jennifer Lawrence is AWESOME!!!!

    It’s a great part and JLaw does a great job playing it. If she doesn’t get another Oscar for this one then she will have been ROBBED!

    This is her best role ever – better than Silver Linings Playbook.

    Without JLaw the movie wouldn’t be nearly as good,

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