Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!


Pierced Organ

This weekend had a happy ending after all:

Piers Morgan and CNN Plan End to His Prime-Time Show

There have been times when the CNN host Piers Morgan didn’t seem to like America very much — and American audiences have been more than willing to return the favor. Three years after taking over for Larry King, Mr. Morgan has seen the ratings for “Piers Morgan Live” hit some new lows, drawing a fraction of viewers compared with competitors at Fox News and MSNBC.

It’s been an unhappy collision between a British television personality who refuses to assimilate — the only football he cares about is round and his lectures on guns were rife with contempt — and a CNN audience that is intrinsically provincial. After all, the people who tune into a cable news network are, by their nature, deeply interested in America.

CNN’s president, Jeffrey Zucker, has other problems, but none bigger than Mr. Morgan and his plum 9 p.m. time slot. Mr. Morgan said last week that he and Mr. Zucker had been talking about the show’s failure to connect and had decided to pull the plug, probably in March.

I guess people don’t like being sneered at by smarmy Brits.

But wait! There’s more!

Alec Baldwin says he’s leaving public life

Listen up, tabloid reporters: Alec Baldwin is saying “goodbye to public life. … I’ve lived this for 30 years, I’m done with it.”

In a long piece that appeared under his byline Sunday night on New York Magazine’s Vulture blog, Baldwin, 55, writes that being labeled a “homophobic bigot” in the media after an altercation with a paparazzo in November 2013 was the last straw for him as a celebrity. (Sound familiar?)

“I loathe and despise the media in a way I did not think possible,” Baldwin writes. “This is the last time I’m going to talk about my personal life in an American publication ever again.”

Baldwin recently lost his show on MSLSD. Is there a common thread here?

I’m just spitballing, but maybe it’s time for CNN to try something REALLY radical – go back to reporting the news!

I’m serious. If you tune into CNN’s competitors at 9 pm on a weekday you will find newsy talk shows. They give you a little news followed by a bunch of talk-talk-talk. And it’s usually the same people talking every night.

Hey CNN! How about a whole hour of just-the-facts-ma’am news? The kind of objective reporting that will have people unable to guess your true ideology. Find a modern day Walter Cronkite and help him earn the title of “most trusted man in America.” Restore your network as the most trusted name in news.

On the other hand, if you have your heart set on a talk show, hire Jay Leno to be the new Larry King. At least that would give viewers an alternative.

Or you could keep doing the same miserable shit as everybody else.

But what do I know, I’m just a Klown.

About Myiq2xu - BA, JD, FJB

I was born and raised in a different country - America. I don't know what this place is.
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111 Responses to Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!

  1. The Klown says:
  2. The Klown says:
    • votermom says:

      Yeah, let’s shrink our military! It’s not like there are flashpoints going off all over the world right now! All we have to worry about is global warming!

  3. The Klown says:
    • 49erDweet says:

      That’s funny. Jeremy Clarkson could come to America and be an instant hit. He’s an opinionated, cheeky Brit snob with a cutting, snarky personality that offends the ptb, but he thinks for himself and can admit when he was once wrong about something-or other. He’s also Morgan’s nemesis. 🙂

  4. wmcb says:

    CNN’s latest dodge is that they are claiming that Piers Morgan’s show failed because…… wait for it………… xenophobia. Yep, it’s because we stupid Americans are all insular and just hate hate haaaates us a British accent.

    Oh, yes, of course. The same Americans who go gaga over Downton Abbey, Top Gear, Doctor Who, Hugh Grant (before he got icky), turned Princess Diana into a cult figure, adore the young princes, flip out over James Bond, and Professor Snape, and…….

    ….yeah, we just can’t abide a British accent. That must be it. **eyeroll**

    • wmcb says:


      • The Klown says:


        • wmcb says:


        • wmcb says:

          If’n he’d a brung one o’ them thar TARDISES, Jolene woulda been jest fine. But not that weird talkin’. Thas jus freakin’ her the hell right out.

          • The Klown says:

            If’n she stops givin’ milk we’ll have to buy a new cow.

          • Lulu says:

            The American Southern vernacular accent is a version of English accents (excluding Cockney in London) which is why a lot of us can understand them. Morgan has the fake upper class public schoolboy accent including The Sniff. This is why Brit (and Irish and Australian) actors can do American southern accents so easily.

          • wmcb says:

            Yes, American Southern accents and dialect are largely Scots-Irish (especially in the mountains) and also have retained a lot of Middle English and Elizabethan English in the more coastal areas of the South.

          • Lulu says:

            A lot of Scots-Irish (Scots AND Northern English who were deported to the Ulster Plantations because their government couldn’t control them and they wouldn’t pay their taxes) ended up in North America. My family tradition has lots of stories about moving to different areas and no one could understand them because they talked funny. They were Welsh in the 1600’s. LOL.

    • DeniseVB says:

      I love the Royals, Mark Steyn, Jane Leeves(Frasier’s Daphne) and Craig Ferguson. It’s not us, it’s you Piers and CNN.

    • Constance says:

      CNN as a channel needs to stop insulting their potential audience if they care to succeed.

  5. The Klown says:
  6. wmcb says:

  7. The Klown says:
    • The Klown says:

      If our university community opposes racism, sexism, and heterosexism, why should we put up with research that counters our goals simply in the name of “academic freedom”?

      Instead, I would like to propose a more rigorous standard: one of “academic justice.” When an academic community observes research promoting or justifying oppression, it should ensure that this research does not continue.

      • wmcb says:

        They don’t even hide it anymore. If reality in any way conflicts with or could even be used or construed to conflcit with their ideology, then BAN REALITY (or at least any mention of it.)

        That’s not a political theory, that’s a religion, and a damned fundamentalist one at that.

          • wmcb says:

            Swear to God, if these assholes keep this up, pulling off the mask to show what they are?

            I will vote for, support, acclaim, whatever I have to do, for ANYONE adamantly opposed to them. No, I am not joking.

            I will put motherfucking Beelzebub on a throne of baby seal bones and hail him King of the USA before I will EVER cede one iota of power to these Progs. That’s how badly they make my fucking blood run cold. Beelzebub might get busy drinking out of skull goblets or something, leave me the hell alone. But these people? These people never will. Ever.

    • fif says:

      Does he ever take responsibility for his own actions? There are plenty of actors who do not have regular volatile reactions to the press (even if they are vultures). I don’t see Meryl Streep screaming obscenities about her kids or punching photographers. We’ll be fine without you Alec.

  8. The Klown says:
  9. DeniseVB says:

    The UK’s Guardian on Piers….doesn’t seem to have many fans there too 😀

    D’oh me, it flew right over my head he replaced Larry King. I did hear buzz that CNN is wooing Jay Leno, this would be the perfect format for him and would bring his established fan base.

    • The Klown says:

      Imagine Leno with no monolog, skits, band or studio audience, just spending an hour chatting up 1-2 guests.

      • Lulu says:

        But HE thinks he is interesting. Most of the assholes on TV are just like him. Other people’s opinions do not matter until they are canned. I still think it is his legal troubles in the UK that was the final straw for CNN. Who wants Scotland Yard hanging around waiting to interview him repeatedly?

    • trixtat says:

      So glad that condescending, pompous moon-faced Brit is out! He fled to the US because of the hacking scandals of which he played a part. Wonder if he’ll remain in the states now that his show has crashed. Wouldn’t be surprised if MSNBC will picks him up. That trash heap just get bigger and bigger there.

      I wish Leno would return (to late night) in some fashion. I know some find Fallon funny, but he’s just not my cup of tea…too many props, silly skits, and no substantive monologue to speak of. And he’s a kiss-ass to and shill for the Obamas. If NBC had to have someone on the left for late night, I’d might be a returning viewer if Tina Fey OR Amy Poehler had gotten Leno’s spot. But wait, Fey and Poehler are women and women don’t fair well on the left.

  10. DeniseVB says:

    Any art critics here ?

    I’ve seen “makes no sense to me” exhibits , so I won’t blame the cleaning lady.

  11. Lulu says:

    Morgan is facing serious CRIMINAL charges in UK. He knows it. CNN knows it. He got their version of a Miranda warning just recently. If he wants to stay out of jail he needs to work on a defense of sorts with his UK lawyers and doesn’t need to be sitting in the US acting like a jackass on CNN. I think Alec Baldwin is a nutcase and the woman he is married to is not helping and seems to be egging him on.

  12. The Klown says:

    Via Hot Air:

    But for many Ukrainians, there was another moment when they realized the ground was shifting beneath them. It came last Friday evening, during one of the most popular talk shows on Inter, the most-watched Ukrainian network. Lidia Pankiv, a 24-year-old television journalist, was invited on by host Andriy Danylevych to discuss the need for reconciliation following the agreement signed by Yanukovych and dissidents earlier that day. While reporting on the Maidan protests, Pankiv had helped persuade the Berkut riot police not to use further violence against the activists, and she had disclosed that one of the Berkut officers was now her fiancé. But reconciliation was not what Pankiv wished to discuss. Asrelayed by journalist Halya Coynash, Pankiv had a different message:

    You probably want to hear a story from me about how with my bare hands I restrained a whole Berkut unit, and how one of the Berkut officers fell in love with me and I fell in love with him. But I’m going to tell you another story. About how with my bare hands I dragged the bodies of those killed the day before yesterday. And about how two of my friends died yesterday. . . . I hate Zakharchenko, Klyuev, Lukash, Medvedchuk, Azarov. I hate Yanukovych and all those who carry out their criminal orders. I came here today only because I found out that this is a live broadcast. I want to say that I also despise Inter because for three months it deceived viewers and spread enmity among citizens of this country. And now you are calling for peace and unity. Yes, you have the right to try to clear your conscience, but I think you should run this program on your knees. I’ve brought these photos here for you, so that you see my dead friends in your dreams and understand that you also took part in that. And now, I’m sorry, I don’t have time. I’m going to Maidan. Glory to Ukraine.

    Danylevych immediately tried to return to the night’s topic of reconciliation. But he was stopped by guest Konstantin Reutsky, a human-rights activist from Luhansk. Reutsky agreed with Pankiv, saying that Inter journalists had “lied and distorted information about Maidan over the last three months.” Danylevych tried to interrupt Reutsky, who went on to say that the protestors had tried for months to avoid bloodshed. “But what happened yesterday is a point of no return,” Reutsky continued. “After that you can no longer say, ‘Sorry, we got carried away, let’s turn the page and start afresh without offense.’ What happened yesterday is impossible to forget.” Danylevych, after shouting down Reutsky’s further attempt to discuss the crimes committed by the government, changed the topic. But a chief media mouthpiece of the regime, owned by the president’s oligarch backers, had been exposed. Hours later, the president fled his palace.

    • Lulu says:

      Wow. A preference cascade playing out on live TV.

    • Constance says:

      Wow! That was a real show of guts. We have the lying, distorting, regime supporting media here in the USA but do we have anyone willing to stand up to them like Pankiv? Maybe the Tea Party.

    • wmcb says:

      That’s amazing. Oh, and I read today that the Ukrainians are pushing for a “2nd amendment” when they rewrite their constitution.

  13. helenk3 says:

    the NYT says it is Pier’s accent that we do not like. and the NYT could never be wrong could it?

  14. foxyladi14 says:


  15. The Klown says:
    • The Klown says:


      More from Salon:

      The taste of a woman
      The problem with fellatio
      Big penis, small penis
      Blow-job blowhards
      Thoughts while giving head
      Anal sex: Science’s last taboo

    • Constance says:

      Interesting. but all slaves didn’t come from Africa, all slaves weren’t black, and all whites didn’t participate in slavery. If they are trying to say everyone participated in slavery because they benefited from knowledge learned by studying slaves or institutions set up by the slave market then they are saying all people of all races benefited from the past. If you are paying reparations then you need to also pay the families of indentured servants brought here against their will and slaves of all races. Also what about shanghaied ships crews? White Americans didn’t invent slavery it has been an ugly human institution for thousands of years.

      • Lulu says:

        Why don’t others who enslaved people have to pay reparations? Because it is a scam here. Every culture has enslaved millions over the last eons. It was called different things such a feudalism, etc. Rome was built on slavery and no one is giving the Italians shit about it. The Dutch were huge slavers and nary a peep. The English went to Scotland and Ireland and stole children off the street and shipped them to the West Indies to be worked to death. Why does this carry on here? It is an industry is why.

  16. wmcb says:

  17. The Klown says:
    • piper says:

      Is his wife still in prison?

      • piper says:

        my bad (blaming my question on several polar vortexes spreading joy, subzero temps and many outings with the snowblower) John Dingell’s is married to his second wife who is 30 years his junior. John Conyers’ also from Michigan is married to Monica Conyers who is in prison for her political shennigans/corruption.

        • Lulu says:

          So Dingell’s wife is old too since he is like 130. Last time I saw him on television I thought he was a mummy in a wheel chair. Then he moved. Sort of.

  18. The Klown says:
    • wmcb says:

      I can absolutely guarantee that the cover art will be called horribly horribly KKK racist by tomorrow. Because any visual depiction of Obama that doesn’t kiss his ass is “demeaning”.

  19. The Klown says:


  20. helenk3 says:

    no more free speech should be allowed.. Is that what is being taught in today’s colleges? these kids are being screwed royally. so willing to give up freedom for what?

  21. helenk3 says:

    holder’s dept of crime wants extradition of mexican drug kingpin. why did he get the fast and furious guns, and they need to keep him quiet?

    • DeniseVB says:

      Future AG’s should be elected by the people, as they do in the states. Otherwise you have a fox guarding the hen house like we have with Obama’s chum Holder.

  22. votermom says:

    Has anyone in media asked this question yet?

  23. elliesmom says:

    So my crazy Canadian cousin tells me the people demonstrating in Venezuela are trying to take the government away from the “people” and give it back to the “elites”. I admit I have been out of touch with what’s going on in the world the last few weeks, but this doesn’t seem to make sense to me. I’ve seen photos posted here of huge crowds in the streets. Street protests don’t seem to be the vehicle the “elites” use to take over governments. Don’t they usually buy media outlets and politicians? What am I missing?

    • wmcb says:

      You have to understand that for her, these are terms of faith, not definitions.

      “The People” = anyone on the side of the Left
      “Elites” = anyone opposed to the left (because per the above definition, they must be against the People, see?)

      Elites does NOT equal actual rich people, or the bozos who’ve been enriching themselves for decades. Unless they are non-left, then it does mean that. Otherwise, billionaires are also The People (because Left.)

      Any crowd opposed to the Left, no matter how huge, cannot, by definition be a large crowd of real People. Because again, see definition #1, the Left and the Left alone is The People.

  24. helenk3 says:

    some really good ones here.
    check the one by navy tim

  25. The Klown says:
  26. The Klown says:

    Harold Ramis has died.

  27. wmcb says:

    Oh. My. Goodness. Larry Correia just put up another brilliant fisking.

    A young author put up a whiny, childish screed on Huffpo, basically asking Harry Potter author J.K. Effing Rowling to freaking stop writing, because she’s “had her turn” and it’s just…not….faaaaaaaair!!.

    I shit you not. Larry demolishes her, of course. As someone in her life should have done long ago.

    • Lulu says:

      The Amazon reviewers have gone wild doing to Shepherd what she did to Rowling. The reviews pre-Huffnpoo special snowflake demanding her trophy were bad enough but now it may be a zero star average. Unintended consequences are always so interesting.

      • wmcb says:

        But see, that kind of thing pisses me off as well. Judge writers by the WRITING, dammit! I don’t even want to be aware of what an author’s political or personal or industry views are, except in the vaguest metaphorical way (and few can even get away with that.)

        • Lulu says:

          Exactly why she shouldn’t have written it to begin with. Huffnpoo did her a great disservice by publishing it. I suspect they used her for clickbait to get a stink going. Not a nice thing to do to an very unsophisticated writer without a good understanding of publishing.

          • wmcb says:

            Gah. Fiction used to be the one place where politics and personalities mostly didn’t intrude. It REALLY PISSES ME OFF when people seem intent on making that a war zone as well.

  28. The Klown says:
  29. DeniseVB says:

    R.I.P Harold Ramis, not many people know he made National Lampoon’s Vacation, here’s his interview when it first came out …..and when I liked Dave too 😉

  30. helenk3 says:

    backtrack is one egotistical sick SOB.
    58 years and Dingle’s most remarkable accomplishment was backtrack’s health care

  31. wmcb says:

    Okay, I’ve somewhat spun down from my “Lets call the Viking ships to come invade, tear the fucker down, and sacrifice all of DC to pagan gods” mood. Barely. However, I’m toying with the idea of the divided branches of govt being Pope, Hell’s Angels, and Rotary Club. Cheech and Chong get to be the judiciary, and that will be a whole separate deal.

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