There’s a Reason It’s Called “Tornado Alley”


It’s Spring, and that means it’s the beginning of tornado season. It’s a long season too, lasting about six months, give or take a few weeks.

Nowadays, Spring is when Vile Progs’ minds turn to thoughts of Man-Made Global Climate Change (MMGCC) or whatever they are calling it this week. Vile Progs like to blame tornadoes on MMGCC. They do this even though the past two years there were a record low number of tornadoes in the United States. They do this even though there have been tornadoes in the land we call the United States for thousands of years (at least).

It just so happens that there is an area of the United States that gets more tornadoes every year than anyplace else on Earth. It is purely a coincidence that this area is nicknamed “Tornado Alley.” Or maybe it’s not a coincidence.


Tornado Alley includes all or part of the states of Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa, Indiana, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Missouri, Oklahoma Texas and Arkansas. In other words, everything in the the middle of the country from Canada to the Gulf of Mexico.

The reason for that is because it’s cold up in Canada and a lot warmer down in the Gulf. If you look at the geography of the region you can see that the entire area is a big, mostly flat spot between the Rockies and the Appalachians. There is nothing to stop the cold Canadian Air from heading south and the warm Gulf air from heading north.

When they meet in the middle, we get tornadoes.


Now that cold Canadian air is pretty dry, but the warm Gulf Air has lots of moisture, so when the cold hair his the warm air the moisture condenses, clouds form and rain happens. That is why tornadoes seem to form out of a clear blue sky.

It’s really a bit more complicated than I am describing, because there are jet streams involved and the rotation of the Earth means the Canadian air (which is closer to the North Pole is rotating slower than the Gulf air (which is closer to the Equator.) This is why tornadoes are hard to predict.

We can predict there will be tornadoes, we just can’t be sure where they’ll hit more than a few minutes ahead of time. Luckily, most of the land in Tornado Alley is not densely populated. That means that most of the time tornadoes touch down they just scare the hell out of people but don’t do much damage.

Unfortunately, sometimes they touch down in towns and cities. When they do, the destruction is terrible. Tornadoes have winds up to 700 miles an hour. They can flay the skin from your bones, but more likely they’ll take you for a ride you won’t live long enough to forget.

The only safe place to be in a tornado is somewhere else. There is very little that is natural or man-made than can withstand the fury of Mother Nature. She can level just about anything, or bury it in floodwaters.

I have family in Tornado Alley, including my daughter and her two awesome kids in Indiana. I do care what happens to them, so I don’t want to seem callous or flippant about this. But if you live in Tornado Alley, you better be ready for a tornado to hit where you live.

Just like if you live along the Gulf Coast or the Eastern Seaboard you better be prepared for hurricanes. If you live in the Northeast you have to deal with blizzards, in the West you get fires, droughts, flash floods and mudslides. California and the Pacific coast get earthquakes.

Every single year there are some tornadoes in Tornado Alley. Every year some people get killed by tornadoes. And every fucking goddamn year the media acts like this shit has never ever happened before.

As for the Vile Progs, they can go fuck themselves.

Lift-off for Oz in 3-2-1 . . .

Lift-off for Oz in 3-2-1 . . .

About Myiq2xu

I was born and raised in a different country - America. I don't know what this place is.
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143 Responses to There’s a Reason It’s Called “Tornado Alley”

  1. Falstaff says:

    I don’t understand why people keep rebuilding these places. What’s the point of putting Tuscaloosa back together just to see it get knocked down again in a couple of years? When the authorities say “seek shelter,” what they mean is “move somewhere else!”

    • Lulu says:

      Don’t buy any products produced in tornado prone areas and it will depopulate. That would be wheat, meat, corn, oil and gas, petrochemicals, automobiles, stuff like that. I doubt anyone would miss those things. Let the hillbillies live there and just feed themselves.

    • Somebody says:

      Oh come on, seriously? So then you propose not building anywhere where a natural disaster might occur? That pretty much rules out building anywhere in the US. We can’t build where there might be earthquakes because everything might get knocked down, most of the US can suffer an earthquake. Nothing along the Gulf or Atlantic coasts……hurricanes, wait even the Pacific coast can be hit by a hurricane. Nothing near any mountains why you could have earthquakes, floods or avalanches and don’t forget an errant volcano. Nothing in the NE because ice storms AND flooding, earthquakes and who knows what else. Nope we can’t build anywhere.

      The University of Alabama was established in 1831, it was destroyed once by fire during the Civil War. The campus had some damage from the tornado in 2011 and yes there was and still is rebuilding to do, but that’s 180 years the campus went without being hit by a tornado. I don’t think 180 years is every couple of years. There are areas in the midwest that get far more tornadoes, but even those areas don’t get leveled every couple of years.

      • DeniseVB says:

        I agree, it’s a crapshot with Mother Nature anywhere in the country. Even in Colorado seems like if a blizzard, avalanche or rock slide won’t get ya, surely the floods and wildfires will. Just can’t worry about those things. Even though my son bought a home between the Columbine, Aurora Theater and Arapahoe shootings, he doesn’t worry about that either. Life’s a crapshoot !

        My husband played “wonder if we moved to Tornado Alley, what kind of house would we live in?” He feels a very simple brick rancher with a kick ass storm shelter in the backyard would do nicely.

    • angienc says:

      Spoken like the completely idiotic asshole that you are.

  2. votermom says:

    A. Global warming: cold north warms up, warm south stays pretty much the same. Result is smaller temperature differential.

    B. Global cooling: cold north gets colder, warm south stays pretty much the same. Result is larger temperature differential.

    Which is going to cause more powerful tornados?
    Answer: B

    See: solar minimum

  3. elliesmom says:

    I’ve watched a tornado from a couple of miles away. It’s a humbling experience. It makes you feel small and insignificant. I’ve survived lots of blizzards and a few hurricanes. When they’re over, you feel empowered if you made it through relatively unscathed. I wasn’t there, but I’m willing to hazard a guess it was fear of weather that was one of the major things that led the ancient humans to begin hoping there was a god they could pray to for some control over their lives. While we have invented ways to keep ourselves warm, dry, and fed in spite of the weather, we have never learned how to successfully control it. I don’t think it’s surprising, though, that there is a religious zealotry to the people who continue to try. It’s even less surprising there are people cynical enough to prey on the people who may have good intentions and to make lots and lots of money off of them. People like that have been preying on people who pray for almost as long as they have been praying.

    • The Klown says:

      Having the ground under your feet shake, rattle and roll is pretty humbling too.

      • elliesmom says:

        There hasn’t been a destructive earthquake in New England since 1755, but we do occasionally have one that will shake a few dishes. There is an earthquake observatory on the grounds of an old age home for priests that’s nearby. It’s mostly run by retired Jesuit professors from Boston College. The spot was chosen because the bedrock is really close to the surface there, and it’s pretty easy to attach the seismographs to it. If you’re nice, they’ll let you watch earthquakes being recorded as they happen all over the world. The bedrock close to the surface and the low instance of seismic activity in the area is also why Intel has a microchip fabrication plant in this area although their headquarters is closer to you. They use large cameras that have to be literally rock steady so they are held down on tables that are attached to the bedrock. They drilled deep shafts into the bedrock to use as table legs.

    • leslie says:

      We were on the school playground when a tornado struck. When I looked up, the entire façade of a very large, multi level, multi-family brink and steel apartment building (built in the 1920’s) was gone. It was like a doll house – you could see into all the rooms. The bricks, glass, wood, etc from the south side of this building was all over the place. but not in the playground. There was no warning siren that I heard. I don’t know how we are alive today. It was the first of 3 tornadoes I’ve survived – in Chicago and in a northern suburb. It is a terrifying thing.

      • elliesmom says:

        I was in a northern Chicago suburb, too. Right along the Lake/Cook County line. I don’t know who owned the siren. I thought it was a fire alarm when it went off.

  4. DeniseVB says:

    Florida’s changed their building codes over the years and new homes are framed in cinderblocks instead of wood. My son had Katrina, Rita and Wilma pass over his home during that awful hurricane year and it didn’t budge an inch. I’m surprised tougher codes aren’t required in Tornado Alley either, it’s so heartbreaking to see such innocent people suffer so much every year.

    • The Klown says:

      I’m surprised that mobile homes are legal anywhere in the region. God hates them things, and sends His tornadoes to destroy them.

    • elliesmom says:

      A lot of buildings that will survive hurricanes don’t have a chance in a tornado. Damage from hurricanes is from sustained high winds and lots of water. Tornadoes are over pretty quickly, but the winds are three to five times stronger than a really bad hurricane. The closest I’ve ever been to a tornado was when I was kicked out of a KMart when the warning sirens went off because the store didn’t want to be liable for injury to customers if it hit. I watched it in the rear view mirror of my car.

    • Somebody says:

      Most of the building codes throughout that area reflect concern for a major earthquake, see the New Madrid fault. I’m not sure tornado and earthquake codes are compatible, well the truth is if it’s a big enough tornado it just doesn’t matter how it’s built. Many people that live throughout tornado alley have either a storm shelter, basement or safe room. Unfortunately a lot of people can’t afford that and yes many live in mobile homes.

  5. swanspirit says:

    We have had fewer hurricanes here on the East Coast too, ( knock on wood ), but lets face it , you can see a hurricane a heck of a log way off , and have time to get the hell out out of the way . And like tornadoes and other phenomena that we deal with here on the planet , weather has been going on for billions of years on the blue ball , and we have to learn to deal with it . We do get a free ride around the sun after all .

  6. The Klown says:
  7. Falstaff says:

    It appears that Obama’s Pentagon has declared climate change to be our biggest enemy. Not Russia, or China, mind you, but climate change.

  8. The Klown says:

    Big Nanny is at it again:

  9. The Klown says:
  10. helenk3 says:

    this article fits in perfectly here.

    why computers can not forecast the weather

  11. foxyladi14 says:

    Great post klown.And comments too Thanks … 🙂

  12. Somebody says:

    It is a good post and he’s right we will hear all the MMGCC crap in 3….2…..1, when these are natural phenomena. There were tornadoes before industrialization, but still the hucksters will blame this and any other weather event on MMGCC. The media lapdogs will happily play along and hype everything to high heaven.

  13. DeniseVB says:

    What State Do You Really Belong In ? I got Wisconsin, probably because I didn’t pick the surfer dude quote which may have put me on a coast ?

      • Somebody says:

        That poll is bizarre, no questions about weather or anything and I didn’t like some of the choices. It says I should be in PA, my husband in LA.
        There is no way I would ever live in PA, it’s too cold. I could summer there though, no problem depending on which part of the state we’re talking about! Full time resident, no way. I don’t deal well with cold and especially snow……bbbbrrrrrrr!

    • Ann says:

      South Carolina – You’ve got a streak of independence those “damn yankees” just don’t get! You’re laid back and don’t sweat the small stuff. You’d rather just go with the flow than stick with a strict plan.

      I live in New York, and have never lived in another state. LOL

      • WMCB says:

        Where I grew up in SC, there are lots and lots of Noo Yawkers. But then, it’s a horse-training and wintering thing. My hometown, Aiken, is often called “The Saratoga of the South.” Similar feel, and the town was laid out and planned by wealthy northerners as their winter getaway.

  14. Somebody says:

    Apparently I am a thread killer, sorry Klown.

    • leslie says:

      Not necessarily, somebody……..I was seeing pts and running a group. I’m at lunch now, but have nothing to say………………………….

  15. Somebody says:

    Oh, oh what is this?
    The whole blame it on the video thing seems to lead back to Ben Rhodes at the WH. Nothing to see here folks, move it along.

    • DeniseVB says:

      I’ve been watching that story perk to the top of the news today ….hopefully Sharyl Attkinsson will report on it 😉

    • threewickets says:

      Ben Rhodes? The guy who joined OFA after getting his Masters in Fiction Writing from NYU. No joke. How does someone like that get to be Deputy National Security Advisor in the White House writing all of Bronco’s foreign policy speeches. It’s embarrassing.

  16. The Klown says:

    NBA commissioner is holding a press conference any minute now re: Donald Sterling

    • The Klown says:

      Here we go.

      High dudgeon.

      Sterling guilty

      More high dudgeon.


      Lifetime ban from NBA

      Sterling still owns team, just can’t have anything to do with it, include attend games.

      $2.5 million fine to go to charities.

      Will urge NBA board of governors to force sale of team.


      More high dudgeon.

      • DandyTIger says:

        What a bunch of asswipes. Let’s start secretly taping other owners and the players and coaches. See what we turn up.

        • Lulu says:

          A bunch of ex-players including Magic Johnson have been trying to buy the franchise for many years. Now they can. How convenient.

          • DeniseVB says:

            Was Sterling set up. The tape hasn’t even been thoroughly investigated yet. Parts that I heard sounded like the lady voice was goading him.

          • elliesmom says:

            If Magic Johnson is part of a group that now buys the team, I think we can say the whole deal smells pretty foul.

          • angienc says:

            Magic Johnson is all over Twitter today happy as a clam thanking Silver for banning Sterling, telling fans to go to the Clippers game tonight to support the team/thank Silver for the ban AND urging the other 29 members to “do the right thing” (i.e., vote to make Sterling sell the team).

          • angienc says:

            *other 29 owners, not members.

  17. The Klown says:

    Expect the Donald Sterling banishment to draw more attention than this smoking gun on the Benghazi cover-up:

    • DeniseVB says:

      Pam Geller suspected this all along, she was right that Obama would have NEVER been re-elected if voters knew the truth …. a failure of policy. Love her rants….

    • angienc says:

      Obama hack Ben Rhodes has a brother named David Rhodes — who just so happens to be President of CBS News (the network where Sharyl Attkisson used to work, coincidentally).
      Oh, and neither Ben nor David’s “wiki” entries mention the relationship.

      • leslie says:

        Since this comment doesn’t fit in the following (Wednesday) thread, I’m mentioning it here…..
        This morning on CBS News radio in Chicago, this email was reported including the relationship between Ben Rhodes and David Rhodes and that David Rhodes is the President of CBS News. Also included in the report was a comment that the author was trying to protect BO. The report was on the national news report – not just the local Chicago news.
        I was so surprised by this report, I set down my work stuff, turned on my computer, and posted this comment. Now I’m off to work.

        • angienc says:

          I can’t believe it!
          They must be selling out of parkas in hell today.

          • The Klown says:

            So they said on the radio – what about TV?

            Sometimes the media publish/report stuff in a low-key way (late in the show, bottom of inside page, etc.) without giving it any extra attention or discussion. Then later they can claim they weren’t trying to hide anything.

          • angienc says:

            True. I hadn’t thought of that. You’ve nailed it.

  18. The Klown says:
  19. The Klown says:
  20. The Klown says:
  21. The Klown says:
  22. The Klown says:
    • WMCB says:

      Actually that’s not true. The study that is drawn from (and it’s repeated ad nauseum) counts any sort of self-reported “discomfort” with “unwanted attention” as assault.

      No, almost 1/4 of female college students are not getting raped or physically assaulted. That’s bullshit.

    • leslie says:

      That’s interesting. When they reported it last night on NBC news, they failed to mention the party affiliation and I immediately figured he must be a D.

  23. The Klown says:
    • leslie says:

      I saw that last night and thought it was very cute. It’s the only time I’ve watched Fallon since he started this show. When that part was over, I turned off the teevee and went to bed.

      • leslie says:

        OOps!!! This was supposed to be after Klown’s Baseball video below. (I have no idea how this happened.)

  24. The Klown says:
  25. Somebody says:

    Sterling seems to be an asshole, but I don’t agree with banning him or forcing him to sell a team he rightfully owns. You don’t have to agree with what he said, but everyone should defend his right to say it. In this case this was from what I understand a private conversation, which to me makes this even worse. Nope, I don’t agree one bit with this.

    • leslie says:

      I just had this same conversation with two of the doctors here. And I said just about the same thing you did. One added that the “girlfriend” had threatened to “get even” and opined that it seemed she had – in “spades” . Srsly, that’s what he said. The other doctor said she couldn’t even talk about it she was so disgusted.

      • helenk3 says:

        he made the mistake of thinking with the wrong head, and got mixed up with a female that saw dollar signs.
        Is he a fool yes but if that was illegal how many would be in jail.
        I agree with the statement I do not have to agree with what he said, but I will defend his right to say it, especially in the privacy of his own home

  26. The Klown says:

    You Don’t Have To Like Baseball to Laugh At This:

  27. The Klown says:

    MY NEW FAVORITE VIDEO: Kevin Fowler – “Love Song”:

  28. helenk3 says:,76178

    you gotta admit she has gall. screw up the country’s healthcare system. use a website that does not work then blame the states for her screw up and threaten to cut needed funding

  29. The Klown says:
    • helenk3 says:

      the sad thing is that I agree with most of this article about today’s so-called feminists. they had pretty well destroyed what the feminists of my time were asking for.
      not to walk ahead or behind but beside.
      having worked is mostly male dominated professions, It really hurts me to see the willingness in today’s so called feminists to give up being respected.

    • Underwhelmed says:

      But the big missing point is (and always is, in these kinds of conversations) is that historically women have been barred from participating in the fields of chemistry and invention and engineering and stuff like that. When men are the gatekeepers, when they get to decide who plays and who doesn’t, it is the height of fuckwittery for them to then turn around and say See? No women! They don’t like this stuff, they’re no good at it! If they were they’d be doing it! The same applies to the entertainment industry. When the studios are run by men (or even by women who are surrounded by/beholden to men) who choose who will/won’t get to write the movies, direct the movies, produce the movies (and tv) then it can’t come as a surprise that almost no women (or for that matter non-whites and political conservatives) get the green light. It becomes a totally closed system, which then uses itself to justify its lack of diversity.

      Which isn’t to say modern feminism isn’t a blight. Because too often it is. And as totalitarian as any good gulag would want.

      • The Klown says:

        I think women should be able to do any job they want to do as long as they are qualified. I think the competition for jobs should be race and gender neutral, but based on genuine criteria. One standard for everyone, and may the best candidate win.

        But I not gonna assume there is some kind of invidious discrimination if some jobs are overrepresented by one gender. And I’m not gonna pretend there are no differences between men and women. Everything doesn’t have to be 50/50.

        • The Klown says:

          If I’m hiring furniture movers, I want some people who can move heavy couches and refrigerators around. I don’t care whether they sit down to pee or not.

          • Underwhelmed says:

            Exactly. Some stuff is geared for guys to do, some stuff is geared for women, and sometimes there’s a crossover where outliers from both sides can do the tasks easy peasy. And everyone who wants to and can, should. But a lot of the time, when certain characteristics aren’t at play and the job in question has nothing to do with sheer physicality, for eg, there is lopsided representation and — yes. There is a bias at play. And too often it’s when men get to do the choosing because then more often than not they choose other men, even when there are equally or better qualified women. Because girl cooties. And prejudice. And misogyny. It just is. You might not engage in it, but plenty of guys do. That’s the good fight. Not the crap that gets in the way of the good fight.

          • The Klown says:

            That’s the good fight.

            I agree that it’s the good fight. What is your battle plan?

  30. The Klown says:
  31. The Klown says:
  32. Propertius says:

    Tornadoes have winds up to 700 miles an hour. T

    The highest wind ever recorded in a tornado was 318 miles/hour. Good thing you’re not under oath, counselor. 😉

  33. The Klown says:
  34. helenk3 says:

    spike lee in front row seat at NBS announcement on Sterling.

  35. The Klown says:

    Rep. Thompson On “Racist” Mitch McConnell And Republicans Opposing Obama Because he’s black:

  36. The Klown says:
  37. helenk3 says:

    think Harry started more than he bargained for with bundy ranch. now a lot of stuff is coming out that he did not want to be made public

  38. The Klown says:

    Now this is funny:

  39. Pingback: Getting Lost in the Weeds | The Crawdad Hole

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