It’s Spring, and that means it’s the beginning of tornado season. It’s a long season too, lasting about six months, give or take a few weeks.
Nowadays, Spring is when Vile Progs’ minds turn to thoughts of Man-Made Global Climate Change (MMGCC) or whatever they are calling it this week. Vile Progs like to blame tornadoes on MMGCC. They do this even though the past two years there were a record low number of tornadoes in the United States. They do this even though there have been tornadoes in the land we call the United States for thousands of years (at least).
It just so happens that there is an area of the United States that gets more tornadoes every year than anyplace else on Earth. It is purely a coincidence that this area is nicknamed “Tornado Alley.” Or maybe it’s not a coincidence.
Tornado Alley includes all or part of the states of Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa, Indiana, Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Missouri, Oklahoma Texas and Arkansas. In other words, everything in the the middle of the country from Canada to the Gulf of Mexico.
The reason for that is because it’s cold up in Canada and a lot warmer down in the Gulf. If you look at the geography of the region you can see that the entire area is a big, mostly flat spot between the Rockies and the Appalachians. There is nothing to stop the cold Canadian Air from heading south and the warm Gulf air from heading north.
When they meet in the middle, we get tornadoes.
Now that cold Canadian air is pretty dry, but the warm Gulf Air has lots of moisture, so when the cold hair his the warm air the moisture condenses, clouds form and rain happens. That is why tornadoes seem to form out of a clear blue sky.
It’s really a bit more complicated than I am describing, because there are jet streams involved and the rotation of the Earth means the Canadian air (which is closer to the North Pole is rotating slower than the Gulf air (which is closer to the Equator.) This is why tornadoes are hard to predict.
We can predict there will be tornadoes, we just can’t be sure where they’ll hit more than a few minutes ahead of time. Luckily, most of the land in Tornado Alley is not densely populated. That means that most of the time tornadoes touch down they just scare the hell out of people but don’t do much damage.
Unfortunately, sometimes they touch down in towns and cities. When they do, the destruction is terrible. Tornadoes have winds up to 700 miles an hour. They can flay the skin from your bones, but more likely they’ll take you for a ride you won’t live long enough to forget.
The only safe place to be in a tornado is somewhere else. There is very little that is natural or man-made than can withstand the fury of Mother Nature. She can level just about anything, or bury it in floodwaters.
I have family in Tornado Alley, including my daughter and her two awesome kids in Indiana. I do care what happens to them, so I don’t want to seem callous or flippant about this. But if you live in Tornado Alley, you better be ready for a tornado to hit where you live.
Just like if you live along the Gulf Coast or the Eastern Seaboard you better be prepared for hurricanes. If you live in the Northeast you have to deal with blizzards, in the West you get fires, droughts, flash floods and mudslides. California and the Pacific coast get earthquakes.
It's been less than 6 months since last crazy tornadoes and they're starting again. But Al Gore is a horrible person bc of that 2nd donut.
— emptywheel (@emptywheel) April 28, 2014
Every single year there are some tornadoes in Tornado Alley. Every year some people get killed by tornadoes. And every fucking goddamn year the media acts like this shit has never ever happened before.
As for the Vile Progs, they can go fuck themselves.