“Paying For Dates” Is Called “Prostitution”

Tiffanie Drayton

Tiffanie Drayton

This is modern feminism:

Why I Refuse To Pay For Dates

Yeah, I said it: I absolutely refuse to even touch my wallet while on a date with a man. This wasn’t always the case. In the past, the fact that I always tried my best to pay my way, regardless of my financial circumstance, was something I wore like a badge of honor. I was the quintessential “independent woman” – I didn’t need a man to take care of or pay for anything for me. I maintained that position for most of my college dating life and at one point was in a relationship with a man who was, well, pretty much broke. Everywhere we went, not only did I pay my way, but I often covered his expenses as well. I thought that was fair and that I should not play into gendered expectations that dictate what men or women should do. Then, I was hit with a dose of reality.


I have come to a place in my existence where I no longer feel like I have anything to prove. I am a thinking, hardworking, autonomous human being. I am also a woman, and a Black woman at that, who is constantly fighting for the right to claim an independence that has been hindered and even made secondary to that of my male peers. Why should I believe I must overcome this inequality without the assistance of a man who wants to pursue me romantically? Why is my effort to reach for the check anything more than pretense? Society has never treated me as “equal” to the man sitting across from me, yet all of a sudden the playing field is leveled? It’s not, and I will not pretend otherwise, nor will I afford a man who’s trying to date me the right to believe it is.

In my opinion, the act of paying for a date is merely acknowledgement of that fact.

If you date this woman you will pay. And pay, and pay, and pay.

Where I come from if you have to pay for a date it’s called prostitution, although in Ms. Drayton’s case I’m guessing if you even try for a goodnight kiss at the end of the “date” she will accuse you of attempted rape.

She has lots of grievances and she isn’t shy about airing them:

Goodbye to my American dream

On the day of college graduation, I told my friends and family the news: I was leaving the country I had lived in since childhood.

“I just need a change,” I told them, but they knew there was more. Was it some romance gone awry, they wondered? Some impulsive response to a broken heart? And I was running from heartbreak. My relationship with the United States of America is the most tumultuous relationship I have ever had, and it ended with the heart-rending realization that a country I loved and believed in did not love me back.

Back in the ’90s, my mother brought me from our home in the Caribbean islands to the U.S., along with my brother and sister. I was 4 years old. She worked as a live-in nanny for two years, playing mommy for white kids whose parents had better things to do. She took trips to the Hamptons and even flew on a private jet to California as “the help.” My mom didn’t believe that nanny meant maid, but she did whatever was asked of her, because she was thirsty. She had a thirst that could only be quenched by the American dream. One day, she thought, her children would be educated. One day, they might have nannies of their own.


I was the model minority — absent, yet present. The yardstick to which other minorities were measured. If I could finish high school and college, why couldn’t so many African-American people find their way out of their hoods and pull themselves up by their bootstraps? If I could speak English without using a single ebonic slang, why do others call themselves “niggas”? If I managed to make it through 23 years without contracting an STD or getting pregnant, why do black women have the highest statistical risk of disease and teenage motherhood? Daddy America looked to me to prove that he did something right. After all, one of his children turned out all right. The others must simply be problem kids.

I survived because I was never able to make America my home. I never watched my childhood neighborhood become whitened by helicopter lights in search of criminals or hipsters in search of apartments. No state, city or town has been a mother to me, cradling generations of my family near her bosom, to then be destroyed by unemployment or poverty. No school system had the time or opportunity to relegate me to “remedial,” “rejected” or “unteachable.” I never accepted the misogynistic, drug-infested, stripper-glamorizing, hip-hop culture that is force-fed to black youths through square tubes. I am not a product of a state of greatness but a byproduct of emptiness.

In that empty, dark space I found my blackness. I stripped myself of the labels, painfully peeling them off one by one. Beneath them there is a wounded, disfigured colored woman who refuses to be faceless anymore, remain hidden any longer. My face may be repulsive to some since it bears proof that race continues to be a problem.

Still, I count myself lucky. Where my open cuts remain, eventually scars will take their place and those scars will fade with time. For many, their wounds will never heal. Gunshots bore coin-size holes into their chests that will never close. Their chained wrists and ankles will continue to bruise. Their minds have collapsed under the weight of a failed education system.

I was already back in Trinidad and Tobago when the Trayvon Martin verdict came down last week. I wasn’t surprised, but I was speechless. My hope is that it will force Americans to reexamine their “post-racial” beliefs. A friend of mine posted on my Facebook page, “You made the right choice.” I think I did, too.

I have found freedom by leaving the land of the free.

Apparently she has left her island paradise and has returned to this hellhole we call “America”. Maybe she was brought back here in chains.

If you really want to see some cray cray shit, check out the hashtag #GiveYourMoneyToWomen.

BTW: Ms. Drayton is 25 years old.


About Myiq2xu™

"If you hit an artery, somebody can bleed out in two minutes."
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102 Responses to “Paying For Dates” Is Called “Prostitution”

  1. Myiq2xu says:
  2. Myiq2xu says:
  3. swanspirit says:

    Poor thing. All of her advantages are disadvantages 😯
    I did love this phrase

    I never accepted the misogynistic, drug-infested, stripper-glamorizing, hip-hop culture that is force-fed to black youths through square tubes.

    Because first , it is true about hip hop culture; and second if a white person said it they would be so RAYCYST.
    I hope she grows up.

    • Jeffhas says:

      Yes, the hip-hop culture forced upon helpless black people by the likes of those white heretics JayZ, Sean Combs, Kanye West, etc. etc…. Without all of those rappers,there is no hip-hop culture to sell – so all those countless Black Rappers are sellouts to the white man’s square box? BET too I suppose…

  4. Lulu says:

    “Paying For Dates” Is Called “Prostitution”
    Yes and it is at will employment that you have to do what they want and get fired at the conclusion. You also get paid what you are worth which isn’t much in the scheme of things. Writing drivel isn’t worth much either.

    • 49erDweet says:

      Didn’t the bejeweled nostril thing derive from the practice in ancient times of marking/branding concubines? Or is it something else? And “Yes, I’m too lazy to Googlah it”.

      • 49erDweet says:

        I note as in so many things in life, I’m wrong about nose jewels. It’s to make young women “attractive”. Apparently I’ve lived too long.

  5. DandyTIger says:

    That’s one confused young lady. Sadly I don’t think she’s that unusual these days.

  6. Anthony says:

    So let’s review: She claims to have lived her life responsibly by touting that she is not a stripper, no STD’s, never got pregnant and she wants a f*cking prize?!

    I was glad to read that she left the country in a huff; disappointed that she came back.

  7. Lulu says:

    I am starting to think that these “young ladies” need to be told “nobody cares what you think” since they are not exactly public intellectuals with critical thinking skills. Any idiot with a keyboard and an internet connection (like me) can show their ass and ignorance. They want a prize for doing what all of us are supposed to do in the first place. She wants a trophy (a attention and money) for not being a complete fuck-up.

    • leslie says:

      Well, look at all the fuck-ups who actually do get trophies and win elections so they can tell the rest of us what to do and think. She has plenty of time models to look “up” to. The kardashians and Sharptons and obamas come to mind immediately.

      • Lulu says:

        When fucking up seems to be the norm (thanks to media and politics when it actually isn’t) and the victim culture colliding you get this. Bad behavior, bad choices, bad everything is overlooked and forgiven when it shouldn’t be. Without bad consequences you get people who don’t see cause and effect. Good behavior and good choices are ignored (as they kind of should be) because the they should be their own reward. Our penalty/reward system is screwed up. Bad gets rewarded and good is punished. That has to change.

        • DeniseVB says:

          Yep, my first tea party rally sign: Stop rewarding failure and punishing success

          I still have it rolled up in my closet hoping the Smithsonian will want it some day 😉

          • Lulu says:

            Bad behavior is accepted as normal or even desirable. If it hurts them we are supposed to make it up to them for being stupid or selfish. It is all about ME. If it hurts someone else that is their problem. That has to stop. There is a point where you say no and take it out of their hide. We PAY people for bad behavior and Wall St is at the top of the list that trickles down. That is cultural and societal suicide.

  8. DeniseVB says:

    Tiffany’s, oops, TiffanIE’s twitter feed reads like an audition for an MSNBC gig. More deep thoughts from another Frisky rant…..

  9. DeniseVB says:

    Ugh Jim Webb went there. Caught a clip of him on Fox News saying he blames the mideast unrest on invading Iraq (Bush’s fault !). He seems to have gotten his DNC/OFA/Obama marching orders, so disappointed about my backup plan to the GOPE forcing Jeb on us 😦

    • DandyTIger says:

      That seems to be the latest trend from a number of right and moderate types. Rand has been on that for a while too. Interesting trend. Wonder where it’s coming from and why.

      • Lulu says:

        Obama can’t be blamed. Nor can Hillary. Obama’s big money supporters don’t want fingerprints. This is not going to be a foreign policy election so I’m not sure it matters because Obama has screwed up so much domestically that is primarily what people care about and want to go away. Domestic comes first and the Dems have a shit pie.

        • Myiq2xu says:

          Remember when Obama was pushing for no-boots war with Syria and they let slip that Assad has Iraq’s WMDs that didn’t exist?

          Whatever happened to that?

          • Lulu says:

            Probably Turkey has them which is OK to Obama and ValJar. Uncle Erdogan will take care of it. All of those big heavy containers of weapons and stuff being hauled all over the place must be hell on their roads and trucks. Iraq to Syria to Turkey to Chechnya to all the little bombers in Europe. WMDs are like walking around money in Chicago. What could go wrong?

          • foxyladi14 says:

            Shhhhhh!! 😛

      • DeniseVB says:

        Found the interview, much better in context than my paraphrasing Webb. He’s such a likable guy, darn.

    • Jeffhas says:

      Yeah – before invading Iraq & Afghanistan, the Middle East was just another peaceful vacation spot.

      What? Does no one remember the planes flown at the Twin Towers were flown by guys from the Middle East?

      … And where is the interviewer to point this out?

      • Myiq2xu says:

        15 of 19 as well as Bin Laden himself were from our good friend and ally the Kingdom of Saud.

      • Mt.Laurel says:

        Then there was that extended sleepover party those fun loving guys in Iran arranged for those lucky embassy employees and a few of their friends. But that is ancient history.

  10. HELENK3 says:

    lets see the poor baby got an education , got to travel because mom worked hard, got paid and travel was part of her job. She did the right things to better her own life and expects to get a medal for doing so and the country to be grateful to her for doing so. She does not seem to like the real world.Has anyone told her she was lucky , not special?

    • Myiq2xu says:

      Her mom should slap the shit out of her.

    • DeniseVB says:

      Ben Carson’s single mom worked as a maid to rich people in Detroit. Know what? Mom learned the secret to her employers’ success had one thing in common: Education. So she went home and turned off the t.v. and made her boys read books, then do a book report for her even though she was illiterate. Great land this country of ours where every kid does have the same opportunity.

    • foxyladi14 says:

      Amen!!! 🙂

  11. HELENK3 says:


    liked this story
    Congresswoman schools meeeeeschele on school lunch program

    • lyn says:

      Blame your Obama love on the GOP, Bob.

    • HELENK3 says:

      I have wondered for a long time, how everyday people like those here and the other blogs I go to could see through backtrack and the press could not. We are not trained investigators or reporters that are supposed to get the facts before publishing a story. How much were they paid to ignore or gloss over what backtrack is?

    • DeniseVB says:

      Depends what the meaning of far right is. There’s deeply disturbed nutcases on both fringe sides.

      Speaking of nutcases, I just noticed Lindsey Graham declaring his candidacy on my muted t.v. screen. :facepalm:

      • foxyladi14 says:

        Miss Lindsy is running???? 😆 😆

        • leslie says:

          I thought the same thing. In fact, I nearly wrote ^this^ earlier. Then, I thought, “Why he could be the first woman president”. I know I’m going to hell anyway, so why not simply go ahead and write it.

          • jeffhas says:

            Well at least if he ‘pulled a Caitlyn’ – he could still be Lindsey.

          • leslie says:

            That is also one of the problems. He took my friend’s disabled daughter’s name and she is completely beside herself. She has been mocked throughout her life because of her limitations and now this. I am so tired of all the people who are being hurt.

            And I “got” your meaning. lol.

    • Dora says:

      I can’t believe he would have been 98!

      • HELENK3 says:

        my first vote was for JFK. He made us believe we could make the world a better place. He had a love for this country and made us love it too

        • DeniseVB says:

          It’s hard to believe jfk was just as loathed by the GOP as they do Obama today.

          • Dora says:

            I wasn’t interested in politics then, but I remember hearing that there were democrats who hated him as much as the republicans did. Especially in the south. Since both sides hated the man, he must have been doing something right. He had to be stopped. 😦

  12. HELENK3 says:


    OH MY this is going to get really interesting. wonder if msm will report on it

  13. DeniseVB says:

    Surprised to see this on a CNBC site. Dumbasses…… we’re covering Hillary but we’re not allowed to tell you anything….LOL!


  14. Dora says:

    Obama’s Trade Deal Is Tangled In The Intricate Web Of Malaysia’s Slavery Problem


  15. Dora says:

    SCOTUS Rulings All Week…

    The Supreme Court of The United States (SCOTUS) will be delivering rulings, on previously argued cases, all week. Today, two rulings announced.


    • Lulu says:

      What is described at this Title IX hearing is a Star Chamber proceeding. We had a revolution about that type of abuse of power. Fascists in the federal government and academic lackeys love that crap. Sue them. Make it public in a lawsuit. Name names. Power mad piss ants.

    • DeniseVB says:

      Oh.Dear.Lord. I forgot how magical photoshopping can be.

    • Myiq2xu says:
      • Myiq2xu says:

        And of course there will be a sex tape.

      • DeniseVB says:

        Just checked over at FB, my liberal relatives are remarking “how brave of her” ! Since I don’t dare reply to them for a public scorning about my tolerance, I’ll comment here “Chris Kyle was brave, Jenner is not”. There I feel better.

      • HELENK3 says:

        WHO CARES??? is she really important in most people’s everyday life? attention seeking seems to run in the family

        • Somebody says:

          I’m sorry but Bruce Jenner is not now, nor will HE ever be a woman. Biologically HE is a man and always will be. HE can have whatever surgery HE wants and take whatever hormones HE desires…..but it will never make him a SHE. HE is a man!

          • jeffhas says:

            Caitlyn… REALLY? – Thank you for blowing yourself up as a Vanity Fair Cougar – then deciding to name yourself as though you’re a 19 year-old hottie. I can hear the screams now, ” Kendall, Kylie, Caitlyn – you all look so cute together”… ugh… the sadness I feel for his pain is almost immense.

      • 1539days says:

        oh, the tucking!

        • Somebody says:

          Who knows, may not have been that much to tuck…..perhaps, hence the decision to become a woman.

        • Mt.Laurel says:

          The man hands have also been tucked away. Hands are hard to photo shop and it would show they just morphed a face a bit.

          Why is it that men trying to be women never pick a name like Peggy Sue or Mary Margaret or Madge?

  16. angienc says:

    The person who invites the other person should pay.
    I don’t go to someone’s house for dinner and think I will be doing the cooking and I don’t accept an invitation to dine at a restaurant expecting to pay.
    If I invite you, I pay. In fact, I will insist on paying as it is my “party.” But no man should hold his breath waiting for that invitation.

    • Myiq2xu says:

      I don’t mind paying for the date but I don’t want any lectures on The Patriarchy, rape culture or male privilege while everything is going on my tab.

  17. Myiq2xu says:
    • DeniseVB says:

      I would miss my plastic grocery bags since I recycle them for other purposes, so I would still have to buy small plastic bags.

      I tried the reusable ones until it was recommended I wash them after every use because of germs from leaky products (and impending death if it was meat juice).

      • 1539days says:

        I went to Save-a-Lot which charges for bags. The bag is pretty nice, and I’ve used it about 10 times now.

        • Myiq2xu says:

          I’m just gonna put everything back in the cart and then empty the cart into my trunk.

          • elliesmom says:

            That’s what the big “club” grocery store places have you do. If you want bags, you have to bring your own. Works for me,

          • 1539days says:

            It would actually be really efficient if you could put a box in your cart then slide the box into your trunk. I also would have liked online delivery orders, but that never took off for grocery stores.

  18. Dora says:

    Don’t know if this is true. Personally, I doubt that anyone would care about Bill Clinton’s affair with Streisand. Surely not enough to destroy Hillary’s chances.

    Bitter Barbra Streisand Out To DESTROY HILLARY CLINTON!


    • Myiq2xu says:

      Someday in the future there will be signs at historical places that will say “Bill Clinton got a blow-job here.”

    • Mt.Laurel says:

      I did not read the link but I would be more likely to believe Babs and Hillary. It would also go a long way to explain the use of the term “bitter”. Even with his reputation, Babs just does not seem to be someone who would ping BC’s radar.

  19. Dora says:

    This is how I will remember him. I was watching with some friends and we were all so excited. We jumped up and down shouting and laughing. He made us proud!

    Bruce Jenner crushes world record, wins decathlon gold in 1976 Olympics

    Bruce Jenner began to jog in a victory trot, fresh and exhilarated in victory, as others were collapsing at the finish line.


  20. lyn says:

    Miley has a good voice.

  21. Dora says:

    Now JW is suing John Kerry to get one step closer to releasing Hillary Clinton’s hidden emails during her tenure at the State Department.


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