“Right now I’m gonna stick this thing in my rear end”

Shakes 1

Mom has been in a lot of pain the past couple days. She was also running low on pain medication. I passed the buck to my sister.

After a bunch of phone calls over two days it was decided that the main reason Mom was hurting so much is she needed to poop. Apparently she hadn’t gone “number two” since before the surgery, and that’s not the kinda thing I usually keep track of. Milk of Magnesia and a stool softener didn’t do the trick, so my sister bought her some suppositories. (She also got Mom a refill on her pain meds.)

After my sister left I asked Mom what she wanted with the tri-tip I was cooking in the crock pot for dinner. She said some ranch beans would be nice. Then I asked her if she was hungry right now.

Mom held up a suppository and said, “Right now I’m gonna stick this thing in my rear end.”

TMI, Mom, TMI. This is why I drink.

This is an open thread.

About Deplorable Myiq2xu™

I'm a basket case.
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59 Responses to “Right now I’m gonna stick this thing in my rear end”

  1. My sister called me to tell me about this wonderful new pharmacy she found nearby. She was telling me how wonderful it is when I asked her if it had a drive-thru. She said no, but parking is really convenient. She said she dropped off Mom’s prescription and it should be ready in a half hour.

    Then I asked if I was supposed to pick it up. She said no, she would pick it up. I told her in that case I didn’t care if they had a drive-thru or not. She didn’t even make it back to her office before the Rx was filled.

    Fuck Rite Aid.

  2. blowme0bama says:

    Just keep in mind where she’s at. I had a relative that underwent surgery two weeks ago and she couldn’t take a dump for a week. It’s something to do with the anesthesia. I think dulcolax is what finally got her running right again.

    • Constance says:

      Well the big problem becomes once you notice that it’s been awhile you start with the stool softeners but they don’t work right away so you keep taking more then you start drinking prune juice and eating figs and at some point all hell breaks loose. I remember after the c-section, I wish I could forget it.

  3. blowme0bama says:

    Clinton Campaign bus dumps sewerage in open storm drain on street. EPA investigating.

  4. jennifer lyn says:

    But Rap Music, Internet Porn, Pornography, Entire Media calling Sarah Palin a Cunt and making fun of a sick child that is all great right? WOMEN you shame me. He likes pussy, sometimes women let them touch him, he is into that–HE IS A MAN. Bill Clinton RAPED WOMEN–a lot of women. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE? Too much to even discuss….

  5. lateblum says:

    Klown, At the risk of sharing TMI, I’d like to give you this info so your mom won’t have to suffer more than she already has.
    They started giving me dulcolax while I was in the hospital. This was about 4 days post-surgery. It took a few more days of two pills/day to become effective. I thought I wouldn’t need it once it started “working” but I was wrong. Please let your mom know that she might have to take it consistently for a while before she can wean herself off. And she should really go slowly while tapering off the stool softener. If she stops too soon, she will have the same problem all over again. And that’s no fun. ❤
    Also encourage her to drink enough water. She might not want to, but it will be helpful. Tea can also be helpful. Swannie will likely give more professional advice. Mine is experiential.🙂

    • elliesmom says:

      Bran muffins are good for breakfast.😉

      • I was gonna get her some of that special yogurt.

        • Mt.Laurel says:

          Will Mama Klown eat stewed prunes or drink prune juice? Its old fashioned but for several relatives it worked (in concert with the ducolax). Also molasses. Not only did these help my mother and other older relative, I an chronic anemic and prunes are my first go when on high potency iron supplements.

          At your mom’s age, I would say a routine to keep her regular is now a priority.

    • swanspirit says:

      All of that is great advice! If she is still constipated, a Fleets enema might be in order, they are easy to administer and usually quickly effective. Your sister is probably the best one for this task, just make sure and follow the directions, and it helps to warm it up just a little under the faucet. Don’t actually heat it.
      Continue with the stool softeners, you might have to increase the dose. The max for colace is 200 – 400mg/day. There is also peri-colace, which is colace plus a gentle laxative.
      Consider reducing the dose of pain meds, if she is comfortable with a lower dose.
      Bananas prunes and oatmeal sometimes get thing s moving. Coconut oil can be very helpful, for constipation.

  6. elliesmom says:

    I had it out with my daughter and her friends this weekend. I said I was sick of the pearl clutching and the fainting couches. The micro aggressions. The old “Stop whining or I’ll give you something to whine about” talk. I asked them to tell me which of Hillary’s stands on the issues would be better for women than Trump’s. They had no idea where either candidate stood on the most of the issues. They just think Trump hates women. I explained the problem is he loves women. Anyway, they were embarrassed they couldn’t say much about who stands for what. So I challenged them to find out. Shut them up for a couple of days anyway.

  7. Somebody says:

    Oh your poor mom, consistent stool softeners are important. As for her current situation is the suppository doesn’t work, and there is a good chance it won’t…….they now have liquid glycerin in sort of a mini enema. A mineral oil enema usually does the trick.

    Another thing she can try that they do in Europe is wet a flannel cloth with castor oil, wrap it around her lower abdomen and then apply a heating pad. If none of that works magnesium citrate will clean her out for sure, but best to try other methods before moving for such big guns.

    Does she have any molasses in the house? A tablespoon or two can help, as does coffee and of course prune juice. I don’t know if she’s up to soaking in an epsom salt bath, but that works too. You can take epsom salt internally also. Ingesting just about any kind of oil, olive, mineral, etc., will help to lubricate things.

    BTW while I have sympathy for your mom, I got none for you. Your mom mentioning she’s backed up, that’s nothing. Talk to me when you have to glove up and go in up to your elbows to remove an impaction from your father’s bowels, three fucking times…….now THAT is too fucking much and THAT is a reason to drink! I will never, ever forgive the hospice people for making ME do that. Those people are obsessed with bowels, the man is dying and they’re concerned he hasn’t taken a shit.

  8. DandyTIger says:

    Tell the klown mom to watch some videos of Michelle shoveling food down her shovel mouth. That should make her crap right there on the spot. Or maybe puke. Either way, stuff is coming out.

    OK, maybe that would be too cruel. Drugs are better anyway.

  9. DandyTIger says:

    • DandyTIger says:

      Scott has been getting coordinated attacks, all about the same pattern. Which in a funny way is encouraging. Why are they so angry and panicked when Hilary is 50 points ahead, or something?

    • DandyTIger says:

      Ah, it’s the shadowbanning blog post that seems to have done it:

      • taw46 says:

        I like how he handled that. Two days, you have two days.

        • Lulu says:

          I think all of this censorship is why I never signed up for Twit. Facebook to me is a violation of privacy since they can do anything with your information they want to do. While I disapprove of Wikileaks on general principle the fact that they are making public information that by law was required to be handed over to Congress or law enforcement at some point and was deliberately withheld, two wrongs don’t make a right but two wrongs do make a “get even” which sometimes is more important. Karma is a bitch. And funny.

        • Lulu says:

          Of course Twit is censoring Adams. He is hitting nerves and I don’t think they even understand why. He is talking so far above their heads and all they do is panic.

  10. 1539days says:

    Opiates are big on causing constipation. The more pain meds she takes, the worse it will probably be. Unfortunately, the suppositories are the medical answer. She could also try eating things with more fiber. Water is also a good thing,

  11. mothy67 says:

    Off topic baby girl has taken to music in the shower and bathtub
    Admit it we were all there.singing away
    So I am looking at music services. New Amazon music with prime for 7.99 is as good as spotify. There is no need to own music when you can just say play. I looked at Amazon dot. Its the mini echo. Not waterproof, but she manages to search on kindle from the shower. You just say Alexa play Blank Space and it plays. I can say play classic rock it they say does. Good Halloween gift?

    I will so use it. No need to ever buy any more music.
    What say you?

    • mothy67 says:

      I thought this was so stupid. I do not need to order pizza via alexa, but its music that me think wow.

    • blowme0bama says:

      Well, aside from giving money to the evil Bezos, yeah, that’s a pretty good deal. I quit ordering anything from Amazon. It’s hard being principled when the left has the techie shit and NFL.

      • mothy67 says:

        If there were a concerted effort from a group to say no to advertizers I would join in. I would spend 5 more somewhere else. The right never boycotts. Left does and with effect. I have not spent a cent in Macy’s since Trump which is why I wish I had the wit of all you posters on social media. They say Trump properties are being hit by election. The power unleashed by a Trump supporters would be yuuuge. Does CNN want to play with its own advertisers?
        My prime expires in February. I like the music, video and free shipping but if Trump loses I stop.

      • mothy67 says:

        What if Trump supporters said no to Bezos? I’m in.

    • Somebody says:

      OMG what a fuckhead. How can anyone be that stupid?? The Clinton administration will make the Nixon administration look like boy scouts.

    • taw46 says:

      Why would she take anything seriously? She got away with it all. And if she wins, she will OWN it all.

      • mothy67 says:

        She will always know She never won. No one ever wanted her. She loses because it was media not her. Sold her soul to Soros. Zero integrity.
        Win or lose she loses because she is vile.

  12. Venus says:

    These morons think they’re smarter than we are & should dictate how we live our lives:

  13. helenk3 says:

    President Obama’s half-brother Malik Obama says he will attend Tuesday’s presidential debate in Las Vegas as Donald Trump’s guest – Page Six
    Read more on pagesix.com

  14. lyn says:

    • lateblum says:

      I imagine he’s been there. He’s Jan Schakowsky’s husband. She is the Congresswoman from the 9th district in Illinois. He is dirty. He was found guilty of tax violations and bank fraud and was imprisoned and then later subject to house arrest for his crimes. He is also the head of some Democrat political action organization. He was instrumental in the disruptions described in the videos made by James OKeefe. He is, as I said earlier, dirty.so he belongs in the Obama administration with access to the WH.

  15. Venus says:

    Get out your winter coat — hell must have frozen over as WSJ prints some common sense:


    Trump and the Emasculated Voter
    There’s only one way to protect the nation from Hillary Clinton, and that is to vote for Donald Trump. [snip]

    Mr. Trump’s candidacy is a message from the voters. He is the empty gin bottle they have chosen to toss through the window. The message begins with the fact that voters hear what the leaders and pundits don’t: the profound contempt for America and Americans that Mrs. Clinton and President Obama share and their frightening lack of emotional connection to this nation and its people.

    Mr. Obama is arch, patronizing, so magnificently weary of having to explain it all, again and again, to the dummies surrounding him. Mrs. Clinton has told us proudly how thoroughly she prepared for the first debate and has prepared to be president. For her, it is all a matter of learning your lines. Her whole life has been memorized in advance. Mr. Obama is at least sincere. Mrs. Clinton is as phony as a three-dollar bill, as a Clinton Global Initiative.

    Mr. Obama has governed like a third-rate tyrant. He’s been a stern baby sitter to an American public that is increasingly getting on his nerves. ObamaCare and the Iran treaty are his big achievements. That the public has always disliked them, and hates them worse as it knows them better, strikes him as so unspeakably irrelevant; he doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Do you ask 6-year-olds if they like going to school? Luckily, a few grown-ups have been set over the public to keep it in line.

    Mrs. Clinton couldn’t agree more. Policy is for smart people, who are people of the left by definition—leftists having scored all those big successes over the years in foreign policy, race relations, policing, restarting wounded economies, making unsecured loans, running school systems and so on. On topics from Keystone to Guantanamo, Mr. Obama has made it clear that he doesn’t give a damn what people think—he no longer even tries to explain to the citizenry. Do your homework! Understand?

    Yes, leadership sometimes requires that you take an unpopular position and make it popular. We are told that Mr. Obama is working on his “legacy” instead, as if that makes him farsighted instead of irresponsible and insanely vain. Presidents are supposed to run the country, not worry about their reputation in coming centuries.

    Trump voters have noticed that, not just over Mr. Obama’s term but in recent decades, their own opinions have grown increasingly irrelevant. It’s something you feel, like encroaching numbness. Since when has the American public endorsed affirmative action? Yet it’s a major factor in the lives of every student and many workers. Since when did we decide that men and women are interchangeable in hand-to-hand combat on the front lines? Why do we insist on women in combat but not in the NFL? Because we take football seriously. That’s no joke; it’s the sad truth.

    Did we invite the federal bureaucracy to take charge of school bathrooms? I guess I missed that meeting. The schools are corrupt and the universities rotten to the core, and everyone has known it since the 1980s. But the Democrats are owned by the teachers unions, and Republicans have made only small-scale corrections to a system that needs to be ripped out and carefully disposed of, like poison ivy.

    The Emasculated Voter to whom no one pays any attention is the story of modern democracy. Instead of putting voters in charge, we tell them they’re in charge, and it’s just as good. That’s the Establishment’s great discovery in the Lois Lerner Age.

    Enter Mr. Trump. People say he became a star because he just happened to mention an issue that just happened to catch on. But immigration is the central issue of our time. Trump voters zeroed in because they saw what most intellectuals didn’t. What is our nation and what will it be? Will America go on being America or turn into something else? That depends on who lives here—especially given our schools, which no longer condescend to teach Americanism.

    The liberal theory is that, other things being equal, all human beings have an equal right to settle in America. For liberals this is too obvious to spell out. But it is also too ludicrous to defend. Does all mankind have a right to camp in your backyard, eat in your kitchen, work at your office and borrow your best jogging outfit? We fail in our duty if we don’t think carefully whom we want in this country, who would be best for America.

    Furthermore, we know that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” But that’s got nothing to do with immigration; freedom of religion means freedom for American citizens—what else could it possibly mean? We must not tamper with Americans’ religious life. We must not admit, as possible future citizens, anyone we don’t choose to; anyone we don’t think will be good for America. Not to admit Muslims is bad policy but it does not violate freedom of religion and the American people have a perfect right to discuss and debate it. [snip]

    Nothing can stop Mr. Trump from shooting off his mouth, but that’s all right. I want America’s enemies off-balance and guessing. For eight years it’s been Humiliate America season—buzz our ships, capture and embarrass our men, murder an American ambassador—a resoundingly successful attempt to spit in our faces and tell each one of us to drop dead. Thanks, Mr. President. Enough is enough. You know that Hillary is Obama Part III. We can’t let that happen. Parts I and II have brought us close enough to catastrophe.

  16. DandyTIger says:

    Fun distraction from the scum of the earth politics from the media and globalists:

  17. taw46 says:

    Not news to us. But at least it was confirmed.

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