When Trump Derangement Syndrome Meets Cognitive Dissonance

You can’t argue with a bigot.

Column: I detest Trump, but a ‘redneck’ fixed my Prius with zip ties

I went to the Women’s March in Washington, D.C., and I arrived home feeling heartbroken. It was the last way I expected to feel.

I had spent the morning sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial with my 16-year-old daughter, Katherine, whose silent tears on election night in 2016 had marked the beginning of this national nightmare for me. She had insisted we drive from Charlotte to D.C. this year so that we could “protest in front of the president’s house.” We heard all of the inspiring speakers; we relished the creativity of the posters and slogans. Being among so many like-minded people was comforting. I heard one woman say, “I love being here today. It makes me feel less alone.”

I wanted to be with people who shared my anger. Because I have been so angry about Donald Trump this past year. I have been angry at my country for electing this man, angry at my neighbors who support him, angry at the wealthy who sacrificed our country and its goodness for tax breaks, angry at the coal miners who believed his promises.

My fury has been bottomless. I drink my morning coffee from a cup that says, “I hate to wake up when Donald Trump is President.” The constancy of my outrage has been exhausting, yet I have not yet found a way to quell it — nearly each day has brought a new reason to stoke the fire. But a day with my daughter, communing with the angry and the aggrieved, seemed a good way to try.

After the march, Katherine and I hit the road in the late afternoon, feeling good; we had done our part to express our outrage. We were about 90 minutes south of D.C. when I heard a terrible popping sound. I assumed I had blown a tire and headed toward the nearest exit. The popping was followed by screeching — were we now driving on metal? Luckily, there was a gas station right off the exit.

Before I could do anything but park my gray Prius, a man rushed over. “I heard you coming down that road,” he said. Before I could say much he started surveying the situation. He didn’t so much offer to help us as get right to work.

It turned out that I hadn’t blown a tire; a huge piece of plastic under the front bumper had come loose, causing the screeching as it scraped along the road. After determining that he couldn’t cut the plastic off, he ran over to his car to grab some zip ties so that he could secure the piece back in place.

He did all of this so quickly that I didn’t have time to grab the prominent RESIST sticker on the side of my car, which suddenly felt needlessly alienating. As this man lay on the ground under my car with his miracle zip ties, I asked if he thought they would hold for four more hours of driving.

“Just ask any redneck like me what you can do with zip ties — well, zip ties and duct tape. You can solve almost any car problem. You’ll get home safe,” he said, turning to his teenage son standing nearby. “You can say that again,” his son agreed.

The whole interaction lasted 10 minutes, tops. Katherine and I made it home safely.

Our encounter changed the day for me. While I tried to dive back into my liberal podcast, my mind kept being pulled back to the gas station. I couldn’t stop thinking about the man who called himself a “redneck” who came to our rescue. I sized him up as a Trump voter, just as he likely drew inferences from my Prius and RESIST sticker. But for a moment, we were just two people and the exchange was kindness (his) and gratitude (mine).

As I drove home, I felt the full extent to which Trump has actually diminished my own desire to be kind. He is keeping me so outraged that I hold ill will toward others on a daily basis. Trump is not just ruining our nation, he is ruining me. By the end of the drive, I felt heartbroken.

When my husband and I first moved to Charlotte eight years ago, I liked to tell people that our neighborhood represented the best impulses of America. In our little two-block craftsman-home development, we had people of every political persuasion from liberal to moderate Republican to tea party, and we all got along. We held porch parties in the summer and a progressive dinner at Christmas. We put being a cohesive neighborhood above politics.

But this year, I realize, I retreated from my porch. Trump’s cruelty and mendacity demand outrage and the most vigorous resistance a nation can muster. Yet the experience with the man at the side of the road felt humbling. It reminded me that we are all just people trying to get home safe. It felt like a sign, that maybe if we treat one another with the kindness and gratitude that is so absent from our president and his policies, putting our most loving selves forward, this moment can transform into something more bearable? I want to come away from the march with that simple lesson, but it begs this question: How do we hold onto the fire fueling our resistance to the cruelty Trump unleashes, but also embrace the world with love? I wish I knew.

Ruth Mayer is a development and communications consultant in Charlotte, N.C.

If you want to see an exhibition of tribalism you won’t see anything better than what we saw this weekend. No, I’m not talking about a football game.

The Memo dropped on Friday. Democrats reacted like Catholics when Copernicus first declared that the Earth revolved around the sun. They laughed and mocked and called him crazy. They refused to believe their own lying eyes. They acted deranged. They wanted to kill him.

All he did was tell the truth.

About Myiq2xu - BA, JD, FJB

I was born and raised in a different country - America. I don't know what this place is.
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110 Responses to When Trump Derangement Syndrome Meets Cognitive Dissonance

  1. Ann says:

    Trump’s cruelty and mendacity demand outrage and the most vigorous resistance a nation can muster.

    I’d love to know how Trump was cruel or when he lied. I’d claim the opposite – he’s helped people tremendously with new jobs (via tax cuts and regulation rollbacks) and his “hints” about the corruption in DC are being proven true every day.

    This woman is a nut.

  2. Myiq2xu™ says:

  3. helenk3 says:

    funny how there are NO pussy hats in this resistance

  4. Myiq2xu™ says:

  5. Myiq2xu™ says:

  6. DeniseVB says:

    The writer pretty much says she chose anger. She wanted to be at the Women’s March because she wanted to be with other angry people and listen to angry speeches about why she should be, and stay, angry as long as Trump is President. Yes, her daughter will be spending much time in safe spaces escaping truth and real life in general.

    • lateblum says:

      Her daughter will also be trying to escape her mother once she figures out what a nutcase her mother is.

  7. gram krakka says:

    Would Trump behave the way people like this woman objects to if there had been no Fusion/Steele dossier and Deep State collusion with Clinton & the MSM ? We will never know. May there forever be a pox on all their houses! They have torn this country apart.

    Imagine how any of us would feel and behave if we knew we were innocent of what we were being accused and had to defend ourself against the might of a corrupt FBI, DOJ, secret courts and MSM.

    Russia/Putin only wish they could be as effective as the Dems in sowing discord and undermining our Democratic Republic.

  8. Myiq2xu™ says:

  9. swanspirit says:

    Trump diminished her desire to be kind??? This person has never learned to take responsibility for her own feelings. What a horror to live with, she would be, because she would spend her time blaming everyone around her for her feelings and actions.

    “See what YOU made me do”, would be her mantra.

    And she is a communications and development consultant?

  10. Myiq2xu™ says:

  11. DeniseVB says:

    I remember this Super Bowl commercial, the camera panning a line of babies on a gray sheet, one of them was Dude Dad’s baby girl! He tells us how that evolved….

  12. Myiq2xu™ says:

    So much for the voter suppression narrative.

  13. Cisco says:

    OMG !
    Scroll down to about 14:00
    President Trump busting HRC’s balls/ovaries BIG FUCKING TIME⏰

    • Dora says:

      And this:

      President Trump: “We Caught ‘Em! “Did we catch them in the act or what? You know what I’m talking about. Oh did we catch them in the act! They are very embarrassed. They never thought they were going to be caught. We caught ’em… It’s so much fun. We’re like the great sleuth.”

  14. Miranda says:

    Her column reminds me of one written, probably 20 years ago, by a Black columnist, who had his car break down on the side of the road, and was amazed when a pickup truck with a Confederate flag bumper sticker stopped, and the 2 guys helped him out. They refused any payment, just saying ‘You do something nice for somebody else’, and went on their way.

  15. Myiq2xu™ says:

  16. Myiq2xu™ says:

    Apparently Shep Smith is having conniption fits over the Dow.

    • gram krakka says:

      The economy has recovered to the point where interests rates will likely go up. Fed needs to raise rates so that next recession there is room to lower to stimulate the economy. We may be due for a correction. This is a good sign, but markets don’t like uncertainty. Shep should relax.

  17. Myiq2xu™ says:

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  20. taw46 says:

    We need some fashion…….

  21. Dora says:

    Happy Birthday Ms Lupino

  22. mothy says:

    My tinfoil hat is telling me the stock market is being manipulated by nefarious players.

  23. Myiq2xu™ says:

  24. Dora says:

  25. SHV says:

    Obamagate get stranger and stranger..(if true)

    “In March 2016 Carter Page Was an FBI Employee – In October 2016 FBI Told FISA Court He’s a Spy…”


  26. Myiq2xu™ says:

    If it doesn’t exist then getting rid of it should not be a problem.

  27. Myiq2xu™ says:

    Coming soon to an old folks home near you.

  28. jenlyntx says:

    If my parents represent people with Trump Derangement Syndrome we are in deep shit people. My father is retired doctor mom is super smart they are so sick about this they can’t see straight. Today my father was literally almost drooling and blithering about Trump and my mother can’t talk about it at all. When I mention things like “I’m the lifelong feminist so I would not be supporting Trump if he were anti-women” or “It appears that the entire Russian connection was a bunch of lies paid for by Hillary and illegally present to FISA court as impartial 3rd party verified facts” they go BAT SHIT CRAZY jumping around, yelling and calling me a racist (mind you I am the only one with black friends in the family minus a few tokens my mom has). TRULY scary and my therapist said ignore it you cannot help them but my god they still vote AND it upsets them. In a trillion years never would I have believed that so many could be so insane. They will NEVER see the truth because they have literally willed themselves to not see it. THEY WILL NOT SEE IT NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER.

    • Cisco says:

      Same here with family and friends.
      Typical defense?
      Well the Republicans did/do the same.
      Ok, give me an example with verifiable proof.
      🙉🙈 Whut?

    • mcnorman says:

      Jeebus if your dad was not retired and having to run a practice off obolacare, I think his perspective might be different. Anyone having had a practice through the messiah’s term has now seen the light. As for the racist stuff? Only my diehard (immigrant physicians) that always have blamed the “white man” for their ills are stuck on CNN. I can tell you that they will never see truth because they have been here for over thirty years and everything oppressed is due to the gringos running the show.

  29. Cisco says:


  30. jenlyntx says:

    but it is crazy. my parents are smart so why are they this crazy about Trump? and they don’t drink darn it. I literally don’t get it and it scares me. It is almost like they have been brainwashed.

    • votermom says:

      i think they are brainwashed by media
      hubby is same wsy, I guess, we dont talk politics, not worth it

    • taw46 says:

      My two relatives are the same. Smart, funny and nice people. But they hate Trump and believe everything they hear on MSNBC. It is like a brainwashing. The only good thing is, we don’t talk about it. Not that I would mind, but one of them doesn’t want ANY discussion. So we have a truce, but it is still uncomfortable at times.

      • Mt.Laurel says:

        Most of those in my office building and all those in the four organizations on our floor (the other non koolaiders have left the building), the people in my condo community, the people I volunteer with, most of my family.

        • taw46 says:

          When I retired, I moved down here to be with my relatives. So their friends are my friends, and they all hate Trump. I am all alone, except for this blog, lol. I will say, they are all nice and talented people. And luckily no one talks politics, at least not around me. But I see their hateful FB posts. I feel for you!

  31. jenlyntx says:

    my parents don’t drink darn it 😦 it is like they have been brainwashed and I don’t like it. My father is making himself sick over this for no reason. I hate the msm and the liars for doing this. It is like we are stuck in a cyclone of crazy and can’t get out. Trump is great and everyone else sucks ass what is so complicated about all this.

  32. helenk3 says:


    so women are only supposed to go into business for mental health, not profit? could have fooled me

  33. Myiq2xu™ says:

  34. helenk3 says:


    check this out. never have another game here. this sucks

  35. taw46 says:

  36. lyn says:

    A sweet kitty died today.

  37. mothy says:

    I fear things are going to get very ugly.

  38. DeniseVB says:


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  40. Myiq2xu™ says:

Comments are closed.