I bought my MAGA hat on Election Night 2016. I love that hat. I wore it everywhere, including the shower. I kept it next to my bed so it was always the first thing I put on in the morning and the last thing I took off at night. Needless to say, it soon began to change in appearance. When it was completely dry the salty stains formed a white ring around the brim. If I wore it in hot weather the salt stains would quickly be dissolved by my sweat, but the dark oily stains seemed permanent. All these stains soaked from the inside to the outside of the hat.
It looks really grody and smells even worse. Sometime last year I retired my MAGA hat to a place of honor next to my autographed picture of Sid Haig that my oldest son bought for me at Comic-Con.
Due to recent events, I begin to wonder if I had been too hasty. The drugs they have been giving me this past week make me feel like I am 55 again. And since today is DMD day I knew I would have some time to kill so I decided to look for some shit to stir.
I was wearing some cut-off sweatpants as shorts, an OD green tee shirt, some sandals and (of course) my MAGA hat. Just as a precaution I was carrying Mom’s spare cane with some lead split shot fishing weights packed into the handle.
Sadly, no one seemed to care. Nobody ran up and banged a drum in my face. No store clecks flipped me off or demanded in a shrieking voice that I leave their store. Nobody tried to steal my hat. I walked back and forth past the egg display at the supermarket for at least 20 minutes but not one person threw any eggs ar me.
I guess that the local Antifas and SJW types are pussies.
It’s just as well. I should have had a sidekick with me to stand off to the side and record everything because as we all know, “If it’s not on video then it didn’t happen.”
That gives me a week to find myself a sidekick. Since I do not qualify for billionire funding I will have to get crowd funding or pay him out of my own pocket. Anybody know how to crowd fund?
The picture above comes from the video below. My gut tells me that this video is fake. The Trump supporters are too cliche (especially the guy wearing the flag.). This reeks of a false flag street theater performance. If it was real, why didn’t it go viral last year?