Fuck Global Warming

Today isn’t too bad, but the weatherdude says that it will be hotter than fuck next week. That is an actual quote. He said, “It’s gonna be hotter than fuck next week” right before they fired him.

Now if you are stupid and/or gullible, you are probably a Democrat. You also believe in Global Warming or whatever they are calling it this week. Well, I’m what they call a “climate change denier.” That’s what they call me. I call myself “a believer in science but a skeptic of scientists.”

First of all, I need to clear something up. I DO believe in climate change. Climate has always changed. Once upon a time, this planet was mostly covered with ice. Actually more than once. Earth has been thru several “ice ages.” If you had been an E.T. about 15,000 years ago and you dropped by Earth in your flying saucer, you would have thought to yourself, “Winter is here.”

But then the Earth got hotter. It probably has something to do with that ball of nuclear fusion our whole world revolves around. The sun got hotter, the planet warmed up, the glaciers started to melt, and the population of homo sapiens exploded and spread to all the continents except Antarctica.

That’s right, humans thrived because of global warming.

Fast-forward 15,000 years to that period known as the “Late 20th Century” and we saw the beginning of a new religion/cult that claims to be based on “science.” I call it “The Cult of Global Warming.” It is a strange religion but like all religions, its gods must be appeased. Oddly enough, this cult does not worship the sun, which ultimately is the source of all global warming.

The cult’s beliefs are based on the idea that if their gods are not appeased they will set the world on fire. You might be surprised at some of the odd demands these gods have. Basically, they want all of the non-elites on Earth to return to the lifestyles that humans led during the last ice age. (Human elites can continue to engage in conspicuous consumption.)

The first High Priest of Global Warming was a man known as Algore (aka “Manbearpig”). Algore invented the internet and was Vice President under Monica’s boyfriend. Then he grew a beard and discovered an inconvenient truth – we’re all gonna die by 2010. In the olden days, doomsayers had to carry signs warning people that they were gonna die. Algore made a movie.

Algore invented the climate change hustle. No, that isn’t a dance. It is a scam designed to give con artists money and political power. It works like this:

1. Con artist/scientist predicts climate change at some point in the future unless his demands are met changes are made immediately.

2. Con Artist/Politician uses Con Artist/scientist’s predictions to gain political power.

3. When doomsday fails to materialize, repeat steps 1 & 2.

Will the planet burst into flame if we fail to heed the warnings? No. Not a chance. Will we all die from global warming? Probably not. Here’s the cold, hard truth:

Nobody knows what is going to happen in the future.

It could get warmer, or it could get cooler. Or it could stay the same. I think the most likely scenario is a mild, gradual increase in temperature.

You can’t sell any newspapers peddling a mild, gradual change in climate. You need to predict disaster to get people’s attention, and more importantly, their money. The idea of climate change as a clear and present danger to all mankind is useful for shutting down debate, too.

So what should we do about climate change? Nothing.

Let’s wait and see what happens, then do what our ancestors did when they experienced a massive increase in planetary temperatures: Adapt.

Under my plan, current spending on global warming will be zero. We won’t have to buy more expensive light bulbs that make it hard to read. We can keep using cheap fossil fuels instead of being forced to switch to more expensive, less efficient “green energy.”

I’ll start worrying about global warming when Algore and Hollywood celebrities start using public transportation.

Maunder minimum?

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About Myiq2xu™

I stuck my dick in crazy and lived to tell about it.
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121 Responses to Fuck Global Warming

  1. blowme0bama says:

    Ditto, every bit.

  2. Myiq2xu™ says:

    Fuck WaPo too.

  3. DeniseVB says:

    In the 30+ years I’ve lived in Virginia Beach, the oceanfront dweebs have been planting and replacing palm trees every year at the boardwalk…..to make it feel more “resorty”. We, the local taxpayers, pay for that. I recommended Live Oaks, a native tree that can live 100s of years. A tree that never loses it’s leaves, loves sandy soil, hurricanes and flooding, salty air and they laugh at hard freezes. The older it gets, the more ugly and gnarly it becomes, guess that’s not resorty. But it’s Virginia. Fuck palm trees, when they start surviving our winters, I’ll believe Bill Nye 🙂

    She’s beautiful to me…..

  4. votermom says:

    Happy Father’s Day to Klown and all the TCH dads! Hope your day is lovely.

  5. elliesmom says:

    Climate change is real. Plate tectonics is really happening. It’s pure hubris to think we can stop either one. We should be focusing on how to adapt. When we start doing that, I’ll listen.

    • DeniseVB says:

      The older I get the more I don’t give a flip. I hate winter, I’m starting to hate summer more. I can’t adapt, there is no perfect climate for me. LOL !

      • elliesmom says:

        July and August are the only “hot months” for us. The average high daytime temps in July and August are in the low 80s. We have central air. We don’t run it all the time, and it’s very seldom on at night because the average is in the 60s. While I like to bitch about snow, most of the time it melts within a few days. Most of the coldest winter temps are in the 20s during the days. I’m able to comfortably walk Ellie all winter unless it’s actively snowing hard. Elliesdad talked about moving further south, but he hates hot weather more than the cold, and he hasn’t been the one who shovels the snow in years. You all can remind me in January when I’m complaining about the snow, but for the most part I like the climate here, and if I don’t like the current weather, it will be different soon enough.

  6. Locked-N-Loaded says:

    The only constant is change. Plus, in the 1970’s, I already survived the coming ice age (obviously didn’t happen).

  7. DeniseVB says:

    My bad, but I laughed…..

    • swanspirit says:

      I am so sorry, not sorry. I laughed so hard. Jeez louise!!! Plus Imma gonna post it to facebook, and hope my grandchildren will forgive me. They are adults, they might.

    • lateblum says:

      I am laughing, and laughing, and laughing at this !!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂

      I just got home from daylong *celebration* and saying goodbye to dd#1 who has now postponed her departure for another day. I know she doesn’t really want to move away any more than I want her to move. 😢

    • helenk3 says:

      well at least she is not on her knees

  8. DandyTIger says:

    Humans, the correct answer was space travel. Thanks for playing though.

  9. DandyTIger says:

    Funniest part of global warming is that if it were a real danger, there is only one path to clean energy that could actually work for the population. That’s 4th generation nuclear power. It can consume nuclear waste, it can’t melt down, and it can’t leak. And it can be made very small. If the warming alarmists aren’t pushing for 4th gen. nuclear, they’re frauds. Even if it’s only going to warm gradually, and frankly at some point we’d like to have less carbon based energy because we like clean, then the best path regardless of what you think, is still 4th gen. nuclear. So another good test of the warming religion is that if they’re not a fraud and know the best path, they wouldn’t even mention the end of the world and that you must join their religion, they’d instead just join forces with others and push for clean and better and cheaper energy.

    • DeniseVB says:

      I don’t think those wind things are working, they require lots of oil to function and they leak. The solar panels are not cost effective in many climates where the sun don’t shine, and they fry migratory birds. “Smart” cars require plug in support. Uh, electricity, run by fossil fuel.

      I’ve become a fan of nuclear energy, wonder who’s behind the ban ?

      • DandyTIger says:

        Also notice they don’t tell you the solar panels have to be replaced every so many years, just like rechargeable batteries. Neither are very recyclable either. Funny how that’s never talked about. 🙂

        • swanspirit says:

          They also neglect to mention the slaughter of birds, both due to wind farms, and solar arrays. Both terrible deaths for our avian cousins. You would think the people concerned about crowding chickens, would also be disturbed and perturbed about the population loss of many species of birds, but somehow, it goes almost completely ignored.

          • DeniseVB says:

            I think the animals rights folks brought that up a few years ago about the collateral damage wind and solar farms cause wildlife, especially the migratory birdies. I do believe they realized they were fighting the same side (Eco-nuts) and quietly dropped it. I remember the war against red-wing blackbirds, millions were killed to protect …. bird seed crops. Crickets from the Audubon Society, who is heavily supported by the bird feed industry.

            On a related note, not many people know that the “We’re only a dog registry” AKC has a lobbying wing that fights shutting down puppy mills. PETA has beeen fighting that for decades, but they raise a lot of money with their “Help us fight the AKC” pleas.

            Sierra Club is another org that raises money “For the Environment” by helping promote renewable and expensive energy projects, which they also get kickbacks from. It’s a feel good group though, being a member makes you think you’re helping 😀

        • DeniseVB says:

          Funny, the average homeowner can solar panel their average homes, and about 20 years to pay them off. Passive Solar works for us better, windows facing south, it’s a little hot house here in the winter 😀

    • Underwhelmed says:

      Absolutely. It was never about ‘saving the planet’ it was always about redistribution of wealth via the UN. It is at the same time the biggest scam in human history and the worst doomsday cult ever devised,. The emotional trauma being inflicted on powerless children is criminal. The lies are breathtaking. I just pray that enough people wake up and smell the snake oil.

  10. helenk3 says:

    talk about political incest

  11. bkhuna says:

    I live in Central Florida. I’m holding on to hope for some of that Global Cooling I was promised 40 years ago.

  12. Dora says:

    Which Do Democrats Reject More: The American Flag Or Donald Trump?

    Friday must have been one confusing day for Democrats.

    The President of the United States had the good fortune to be born on Flag Day, June 14, which put the Democrats in a bit of a bind. As millions of Americans honored Old Glory, as well as the 45th President on that day, what were the Democrats to do?

    https://townhall.com/columnists/antoniaokafor/2019/06/16/which-do-democrats-reject-more-the-american-flag-or-donald-trump-n2548289

  13. Dora says:

    Obama’s Shadow Government. Not at all surprised.

    =====

    “We Tracked Obama’s Movements For Over A Month And Based On His Meetings, It’s Time To Question Whether He Is Running A Shadow Government” – http://thebeltwayreport.com/2019/06/p304/”

  14. DeniseVB says:

    So true …. poor Dads 😀

  15. Dora says:

    Better watch your language.

    • elliesmom says:

      Smart means having a high mental capacity. It has nothing to do with vocabulary. Saying urban blacks are “less smart” is racist.

    • Anthony says:

      I’m convinced this is another “Titania McGrath” profile. Its too nuts to be real

      • DeniseVB says:

        Too many funny replies, you may be right. This response…..

      • Somebody says:

        Anthony, are you a moderator? I know you write pieces, can you see my email address?

        I’m looking at making a trip to NYC soon, thought we might be able to meet up. I figured we could email and/or I can give you my #’s so we don’t tie up TCH comments with personal stuff.

        I need advice on hotels. I smoke and hubby vapes. I know there is no smoking in hotel rooms, I don’t smoke inside or in my cars anyway. However, I don’t want to have to walk miles to have a smoke, nor do I want to have to go down 50 floors 🙄

        Do any hotels have balconies? Is smoking allowed on balconies? I found a blog post by the Avalon Hotel, saying they are smoker friendly but not much detail. Ever been to The Avalon? Is it a good location? Any suggestions would be appreciated. Hubby wants to stay at a Trump high rise overlooking central park, I said no. Knowing my luck we’d be on the top floor and the elevator would be on the fritz.🙄

        Denise if you have suggestions let me know. I know you smoke and go to NYC a lot.

        BTW, I’m getting outta here! 10 days without kids!!! Bonus, school starts the week I return! Happy 💃

        • Anthony says:

          I’ll email you later. I’ll put my name in all caps in the subject line

        • DeniseVB says:

          What fun ! No, I’ve always been forced outside to enjoy a ciggie while inhaling exhaust fumes from passing busses and trucks. They’ve even banned smoking in parks and other public areas. And bars ! But you meet the nicest people outside of those 😉 I used to stay at the Belvedere, right in midtown 49th and 8th (?) The area’s got a nice neighborhood feel, bars, diners, bodegas and a liquor store. Also a kitchenette w/microwave, great for storing and heating up leftovers from nummy restaurants that the homeless don’t want (true story, lol).

          • Somebody says:

            So you can smoke outside the hotel on the sidewalk? See my fear was I’d be run away from in front of buildings and forced down some dark alley.😨

            As I said, I smoke outside anyway. I just don’t want to trudge down 50 floors or walk miles. First thing in the morning is my biggest concern, nobody wants to be around me until I get some nicotine and caffeine. Hubby is a brain dead moron until he gets his fix, I’m your garden variety bitch 😜

            “Good morning”……..”Oh yea what’s so good about it, GFY”……after my fix…..”Good morning”…..”Good morning to you too, have a great day! Ah, the birds are chirping, it’s going to be a lovely day” 😂🤣

          • DeniseVB says:

            I have a beautiful balcony, pier and deck with sunrise and sunset views, I never want to leave my house 😀 Do you have your NYC dates set yet? I may run up for a couple of days while you’re there, I need to see DD anyhow, long overdue.

          • Somebody says:

            Shorter……without my morning fix, I could be one of Klown’s psycho ex-girlfriends. With it, no way 😂

          • Somebody says:

            Yes, I’m going the first weekend in August. I fly in Friday night, most likely into Philadelphia because that is near hubby and he doesn’t want to go into NYC alone and meet me there…….it’s an ongoing conversation. What’s worse he wants to drive in and I’m like hell to the no, we take the train.

            We will be there probably through Tuesday. Then we’re either going to upstate NY or somewhere in the Poconos. Somewhere quiet, that’s my solemn promise to him, but I don’t fly out until the 12th, so we may end up staying in the city longer 😜

            37 years I’ve been trying to get him to take me to NYC 🙄 He’s been there several times growing up. He doesn’t like big cities. I had to make sure I was driving and take the “wrong” exit to see DC and Philadelphia, him screaming NO, NO, what are you doing 😂 We’ve been back to DC since, once with him……but I’ve still only had a one hour running tour of Philadelphia 🙄 The kids and I were hungry and hunting a place to eat 😉 Checked the Liberty Bell, Freedom Hall, Potrait Museum, The US Mint and finally found a hot dog stand outside the Mint 😂 Hey, since I’m probably flying into Philly 🤔

          • DeniseVB says:

            Take the train from Philly ! Unless you find a hotel that includes free parking, *rare*, you will still have to tip heavily to their parking guys not to damage your car (true story). Stay in a midtown hotel, you won’t NEED a car. Last I was there, parking garages were about $150/24 hours. Let me know if I can email you too. NYC isn’t hard 😀

    • John Denney says:

      “… supremacy… education … communicate … thesaurus… supremacist.”

      Wow, look at all those big words! Kimberley’s probably a racist!

    • DeniseVB says:

      The next Gay Obama 🙂 I read an article earlier that he’s raking in millions from the LGBTQ community.

      • lyn says:

        The Gay Mafia donated $7 million in April alone to Buttplug. Yeah, Democrats want the first gay male to be president now.

        • DeniseVB says:

          Yep, that was the one I read. Brandon’s suing the NYC LGBT Center that cancelled his event for 20 million. They should save their money 😀

  16. DeniseVB says:

    PJW is right.

  17. DeniseVB says:

    True story 😉

    • Cisco says:

      I’d add, STFU.
      There’s a conference of Bishops that met in Baltimore to address sexual abuser by the clergy.
      Did SJW Francis say anything about that?
      If he did, my apologies.

  18. Dora says:

    • elliesmom says:

      Her idiot son aside, I remember when 40 years ago or so her jeans with the swan logo were the only ones a “curvy woman” could find to fit that were reasonably priced and good quality. She still makes a decent jean in a lot styles and sizes.

  19. DeniseVB says:

    I miss the good ole days when Cosmo’s How to Please a Man articles were recipes 😛

  20. Dora says:

  21. Dora says:

    Would it be disgraceful for me to do a happy dance? 🙂

  22. Dora says:

    Wow! Unbelievable!

  23. Myiq2xu™ says:

  24. Myiq2xu™ says:

  25. John Denney says:

    Global warming? A few degrees? Phoenix laughs!

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