U.S. Sheriff Adam “Mad Dog” Schiff spent the day organizing his impeachment posse. He started off with an arousing speech:
“Okay people, listen up! We all know that Donald Trump deserves to be impeached. I don’t care what that drooling idiot Mueller says, Trump colluded with Russia! He stole the presidency from Hillary Clinton and he stole a Supreme Court spot that rightfully belonged to us. He had sex with that woman with enormous boobies. He continues to flout longstanding tradition by trying to keep his campaign promises. If this is allowed to stand the voters will expect all of us to keep our promises too. We’ve got to protect our phony-baloney jobs, gentlemen.
Trump must be stopped. What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in America. There is an impeachable offense out there with Donald Trump’s name on it. And if his name isn’t on it, we’ll put his name on it. Now let’s go find it!”
When the members of Schiff’s Impeachment Posse jumped to their feet to applaud Schiff’s speech it was quite evident that some of them were visibly aroused. As was Schiff. Either that or he had a tube of chapstick in his pocket.