“Honest, Officer. I wasn’t mooning anyone. I was sunning my butthole”

Me: “We have reached Peak Crazy. Nothing could be crazier than this.”

The World: “Hold my beer.”

They’re soaking up some rays where the sun don’t shine.

The hottest trend gripping wellness die-hards is tanning their cans, or “perineum sunning,” as influencers are calling it.

“In a mere 30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole, you will receive more energy from this electric node than you would in an entire day being outside with your clothes on,” says an influencer, who goes by Ra of Earth. In a viral video that has racked up more than 35,000 views, he gestures toward the sun as three naked men lie down, point their backsides to the sky and make sounds of pleasure.

Ra of Earth has also posted a step-by-step “Sun Worship exercise” pulled from “The Tao of Sexology: The Book of Infinite Wisdom” by Dr. Stephen T. Chang that says the practice can help keep the area “healthy and free of germs.”

Chang and Ra of Earth aren’t the only ones, either. Other influencers appear to be just as inspired to catch some ultra-vile rays.

“[Thirty] seconds of direct sunlight injection to the anal orifice is equivalent to being outside in the sun all day!” writes influencer Troy Casey.

One Californian claims butt-chugging vitamin D not only helps her sleep better but helps to regulate her hormones.

“For the past few weeks I have included sunning my bum and yoni into my daily rising routine,” a woman who goes by Metaphysical Meagan captions an image of herself fully naked on a rock. Meagan says she first learned about perineum sunning through her study of Taoism and has recently given up her morning cup of coffee in favor of sunning her anus.

The worst part is by this time next year, the airing of anuses will seem quaint.

BREAKING NEWS: Kamala Harris just announced a proposed new law that would make perineum sunning mandatory.

About Myiq2xu

If I had known this was the end of the world I would have brought refreshments.
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109 Responses to “Honest, Officer. I wasn’t mooning anyone. I was sunning my butthole”

  1. Myiq2xu™ says:

    My cats must think my face is the sun because they are always sticking their booty holes in my face.

  2. Myiq2xu™ says:

    • Myiq2xu™ says:

      The worst part is that the guy is the president of the Joe Biden Fan Club.

    • Mothy67 says:

      They have to be setting up an unfit to stand trial defense. Seriously, the kids played with the hair on my legs? WTF?
      Also haven’t something like 90% of people with severe substance abuse issues and uncontrollable promiscuity suffered a severe childhood trauma. Hunter ain’t right.

  3. 49erDweet says:

    You can come and get me, now Hannah!!! I’ve finally seen EVERYTHING

  4. votermom says:

  5. DandyTIger says:

    Just when I thought we had already reached peak stupid. Holy asshole batman.

  6. DeniseVB says:

    Ok, here’s that Biden “corn pop and hairy legs” speech in full context. I highly rec to use the cc and read along, if you thought the clips were bad, your head is going to hurt more, lol. Fortunately, both Bidenisms come in the first 6 minutes or so. I may go back and finish watching it. It’s from Sept 2019, his wife and staff should be arrested for elder abuse 😛

    (ooops, posted wrong link, brb) /edit

  7. Myiq2xu™ says:

    It’s worse than that. Schiff could release classified info via a leak and the reporter would go to prison before admitting that he was the leaker. Then Devin Nunes could leak the rest of the information (the part that is good for Trump) to the same reporter and the story would be “DEVIN NUNES LEAKS CLASSIFIED INFORMATION.”

    Adam Schiff is the ringleaker of the Resistance.

  8. Mothy67 says:

    There’s a new 7Up documentary. The ninth in the series. If you’re not familiar it visits the same group of Brits every 7 years. I haven’t seen the last few, but I found the early one’s fascinating.
    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8929142/

  9. gram krakka says:

    You haven’t seen everything yet. My daughter was channel surfing late one night and came across a R rated cable channel showing a porn actress getting her perineum skin bleached. Seems the natural red anus color is less appealing than a white bung hole for camera closeups.

    As Justice Louis Brandeis famously said “sunlight is the best disinfectant”. Bleach is good also, but ouch!

  10. Cisco says:

    I’ll try to ask this delicately.
    I briefly watched a video of a black guy yakking about something not paying much attention because he had some kind of top knot on his head, like the one that white guy is wearing.
    I’m seeing that more and more on white guys.
    Another case of cultural appropriation?
    Here comes the delicate part.
    After seeing that hair worn like that on black guys l thought “how long before white guys start copying.
    Didn’t take long did it.?

  11. Mothy67 says:

    I think video is a joke. The man bun and stache are too over the top.

  12. 1539days says:

    If they’re sunning buttholes, does that mean Biden is going to get some color?

  13. votermom says:

    hubby had thos on this AM yuck

  14. DeniseVB says:

    Ooops.

  15. Myiq2xu™ says:

    Man, didI just screw up royally or what?

    I made a joke to Mom about signing her up for a class in perineum sunning. Then I got to spend 15 minutes repeating/explaining what I said, loudly and slowly. She finally got it when we were two blocks from home (We were still in her church’s parking lot in Atwater when I made the joke.)

    Now Mom says she wants to take the class, and she wants me to take it with her.

    Coup de grace:

    Mom: “Maybe they have a class for seniors. You’re old enough to qualify.”

    Mom has still got game. Her hearing, memory, and comprehension problems get a lot worse when the topic is something she doesn’t want to talk about. Mom not only still knows how to push my buttons, but she is also the person who made, identified and labeled most of them.

  16. Dora says:

    If this is true it’s tragic.

  17. Dora says:

    If we’ve reached the point of no return, shut up about it already!

  18. DeniseVB says:

    Celebrities gonna celebrity 😀

    • Mothy67 says:

      He has a net worth of 30 million. I would love to see his tax returns. Does he take charitable deductions?
      He could, on his own, foster a number of families.

    • Somebody says:

      Ruffalo is so stupid and so hypocritical. I used to like him, now I refuse to see anything with him in it. Do you think he thinks in a world without capitalism he gets to keep all his money? Does he think anybody will be able to afford movies? Does he think he’ll continue to get millions to play pretend for the cameras?

  19. Dora says:

    We haven’t heard from Meathead in a while. I suppose he was due.

  20. Dora says:

    Why would they do something like this? What are they trying to prove?

    ===

    Amazon sparks outrage after selling Holocaust-themed Christmas ornaments

    At least 1.1 million people were killed in Auschwitz

    https://www.theblaze.com/news/amazon_holocaust_christmas_ornaments

  21. Dora says:

  22. DeniseVB says:

    Home and gone again in the morning. Whew, he’s exhausting to follow…….

    • Somebody says:

      Busy, busy. Is FLOTUS going to NATO summit? FLOTUS returns to WH tonight for the Christmas decorations reveal! Can you imagine how magical that must be? Bless the volunteers, yes it’s an honor but it is also hard work. I’ve always wondered if the President or children get all excited. The big reveal is always with the first lady, but I’ve always wondered how everybody else reacts, including returning staff.

      BTW, isn’t Nancy headed to Spain? Maybe POTUS could give her a ride on AF1. Just drop her off over Spain, parachute optional

  23. lyn says:

    • Mothy67 says:

      A friend of mine who put her son up for adoption was told when she agreed to be located if he chose to- not to be surprised if he did not look for her. Was told girls almost always try to find, but boys seldom do. That was in 1999. When he would have been 18. No attempt ever made.

  24. Angie says:

  25. Angie says:

  26. taw46 says:

    The response to Nadler. A thread.

  27. Miranda says:

    If we’re posting dance, I thought the Tina cast was great at the parade:

  28. Dora says:

  29. DeniseVB says:

    Our boy is up and at’em early this morning, feeding another raw meat tweet to the haters. LOL, I may play on this thread just responding “Triggered” !

  30. taw46 says:

    Mollie has a thread.

  31. M says:

    Watching The Report on Prime.. It’s about the investigation on torture. I am conflicted about it. Paints the cia in a shitty light and gives bush cover. Feinstein is painted favorably.

  32. DeniseVB says:

    For my snowy TCHer peeps. Some helpful tips …..

  33. DeniseVB says:

    Wheels up !

  34. helenk3 says:

    https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2019/12/im-done-being-quiet-fbi-love-bird-lisa-page-breaks-silence-on-eve-of-doj-ig-report-portrays-herself-as-victim-of-president-trump/

    hey lisa, taking responsiblity for YOUR actions is called growing up. You and your married lover helped plan a coup. You both got caught. that does not make you a victim, it makes you a treasonous tramp

  35. helenk3 says:

    has anyone else had this problem with facebook? you click on something and the site crashes? I notice it is usually when the post is conservative. At my age I do not need some snotnosed know nothing brat censoring what I read

  36. taw46 says:

  37. elliesmom says:

    Unless the DNC puts its thumbs on the scale again, I think the odds are still in Biden’s favor. Obama has sent out the signal to his supporters he doesn’t want the party to go too far left. That knocks out most of the crowd. It’s been “leaked” Obama doesn’t think Biden has what it takes to win, but there hasn’t been a leak of who his preferred candidate is. For all of the talk about Michelle Obama running, I don’t think either of their egos could handle a loss to Trump. While Michelle might be able to bring some of the black voters back, if you listen to what the black voters for Trump are saying, there has been widespread disappointment with Obama 1.0 in the black community. The pundits might be speculating about a Michelle Obama run, but they’re also speculating about Hillary. They just want to have a race that will sell their papers and get TV ratings. If Biden is the nominee, I’m going to renew my interest in TL. 🙂 If the DNC lets Biden take the nomination, it will be a “pity run”. If they choose someone like Buttigieg, it will signal they want that person labeled a loser and off the bench for 2024.

  38. lyn says:

    I’m glad I met Lil Bub in 2015.

  39. elliesmom says:

    I need to change the message on my phone answering service. I’ve been getting a lot of calls from places trying to sell my husband help writing an advanced directive and for end of life care. A particularly annoying company is called “Vital Decisions”. In the messages they leave, they know what health insurance carrier we use so I think I know where they got our phone number. I don’t answer the phone. I’d rather not advertise I’m just me here, but just saying “You have reached this phone number” won’t stop the calls. Any ideas? I’m OK with a little bit of irreverence. 😉

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