I don’t know when Donald J. Trump will leave office, but sooner or later he will. And if he leaves sooner there is a pretty good chance he’ll be back later. But Father Time is still the undefeated champion, and we must all eventually shuffle off this mortal coil. I predict it will be many years before PDJT ascends that heavenly escalator to his penthouse in the sky.
But a day will come when Donald Trump is no longer President, and when that day comes there are some things I will not miss:
Unfunny and unattractive female comics vomiting out towards Trump all the bile and hate for men they have accumulated since puberty and calling it humor. I won’t miss any of those feckless c*nts.
Donald Trump is a notorious Twitter troll with the rank of Jedi Master. People have been freaking out about his tweets since 2015. Social media technology is supposed to be for Democrats. Young, smart, hip Democrat candidates were supposed to wow the youth vote with their hipness by using Twitter and riding skateboards and stuff. Trump ruined all that.
Every day at Zero Dark Thirty hours Trump would get up and start tweeting like a madman. He tweeted mean things to people (who generally deserved it) while sending classified information to Vlad Putin-on-the-Ritz and racist dogwhistles to his secret white supremacist armies.
What will future generations think when they see “covfefe” right there on their smartphone implant screen?
Reporters who were used to going to bed at 2 am started getting up at 3 am so they could follow Trump’s tweets live. For the first two years of Trump’s first term, there was a freak-out at least once a day. Yeah, I said, “at least.” Some days there was more than one.
I won’t miss them.
Leaks, Lies, and Insider Books:
White House leaks are nothing new. Nixon’s “plumbers” were originally used to “fix leaks.” But under Trump the White House leaked like a new puppy. Leaks are true information that was supposed to be secret. What’s worse, leaking classified information or making up lies about the President?
Trick question – the leaks and lies are mixed together before distribution. Once upon a time, you had to put together a solid story to get it published. Anonymous sources and uncorroborated claims were not enough. News editors were grizzled old farts with no fucks to give who had seen lots of “big scoops” turn out to be piles of crap.
I’m not worried about lies from the outside, I’m worried about lies from the inside. Lies from the FBI, DOJ, State Dept., the IC, the CDC, Congress, etc. But the situation is already improving. In the past few weeks we have seen the news media start fact-checking stories before publishing them. And they are screening out the tabloid trash from newsworthy stories.
I am sick of insider tell-all books. There have already been 40-50 books by alleged insiders “spilling the beans” about Trump. But the bears were all spilled long ago.
I won’t miss “mostly peaceful” riots. As soon as Trump lifts-off from the White House aboard Marine 2, all protests will be deemed violent. Just like the Tea Party riots.
Here are some other things I won’t miss when Donald Trump is gone:
The Resistance – all forms of obstruction from inside or outside the administration
Censoring the President
Being called a racist
Lust for power
I won’t miss any of those things because they aren’t going anywhere.