Thursday, February 9, 2023

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65 Responses to Thursday, February 9, 2023

  1. swanspirit says:

    Such pretty tulips. I love tulips. I planted some gorgeous peony tulips, years ago, and the moles, voles, squirrels and rabbits got them all. Probably mice too.

    • DeniseVB says:

      Bi-Polar coastal Virginia is going into the 70’s today, daffys are already up, red maples are budding, I feel in ice storm could be in the near future. Cray-Zee. 😀

      • swanspirit says:

        We will be in the high 60°s here. I don’t mind if we skip winter, we have a few time before. It does increase the mosquitoes, though.

      • Mt.Laurel says:

        Its been a while since we have had one of the infamous March (even late march) blizzards along I95 corridor. One never knows. But swan is right, we sometimes just have a drier/warmer winter with a few blips of cold air/minimal snow and ice and then lots of dampness in the spring to bring out the bugs en masse.

    • Dora says:

      I’ve planted tulips a few times. The stems came up beautifully, but most of them were headless.

      Damn squirrels! 🙂

    • lateblum says:

      Those tulips are lovely. I brought some tulips home from the grocery store yesterday. They are gracing my dining room with their beautiful presence.

      I too have planted tulips in the past, that never bloomed due to the squirrels and possibly the deer in my neighborhood. And then last July I tore my shoulder apart planting perennials in the same garden. The squirrels and bunnies ate them all. So all I was left with was a messy “garden” and a messed up shoulder for which I am still in PT.

      Did I ever say how much I love tulips and hate squirrels?

      • Dora says:

        Sorry about your shoulder.

        It sounds so painful.

        I hope it’s better soon so you can plant more tulips. Kidding 🙂

      • swanspirit says:

        I hope your shoulder is better soon! I had tendonitis from gardening a couple years ago, and it was miserable. It took a long time to heal, but it finally did. Have patience, and treat yourself to lots of TLC . 🌷🌷🌷🤗🤗

      • lyn5 says:

        Has your shoulder pain dropped in intensity?

        • lateblum says:

          Yes. But at night and in the morning and sometimes even during the daytime, it is quite painful. The PT is now addressing a different area of my shoulder so I’m hopeful it will be better. Thank you. ❤️

          • lyn5 says:

            I had a one-hour online pain assessment with Rick Olderman today. I have three exercises to do. Bought his back pain digital video a month ago. He also has two free zoom coaching group sessions a month.

          • lyn5 says:

            I have a copy of Rick’s shoulder book. Do you want it?

            • lateblum says:

              Thank you, lyn. I know I’m gonna sound like an idiot. I don’t know who Rick is. Is he someone from your part of the country? Or is he so well known that I should have known of him instantly? I don’t want to take your copy, but I will look him up and see what I think. 💕

          • lyn5 says:

            He’s a PT from Denver. I don’t need the book.

          • lyn5 says:

            Short interview …

            • lateblum says:

              Sorry lyn, I was watching the Four Continents skating competition last night and fell asleep. Then I’ve had “things to do” all morning until when I got back home a little bit ago. I think my brain needs more help than my shoulder. I forgot a morning appointment today and although they managed to fit me in, I’m still embarrassed about it.
              The videos look good. Let me see if I can get the book at the library before you go to the trouble of sending it. I’ll let you know if I can get it. ❤️

          • lyn5 says:

            You needed the sleep. The book is packaged and ready to go. Have another book bundle to send to a woman on a friend’s book share list.

  2. Anthony says:

    Great pic! Tulips roses and dendrobium orchids can live submerged in water. I’ve used small glass globes with submerged flowers as decorations on tables for two, but never thought about floating a candle on top.

  3. DeniseVB says:

    Ahhhhh, a refreshing break from politics ❤

  4. Mothy67 says:

    I wanna thank you
    45 day suspension may be the best thing that ever happened with regards to Pup.
    We were running on empty since her dad died there was no release valve. Everyone tried to act like everything was fine. Shayla got her grades. It was her dad. My mom can honestly be the worst but she is also the best. Unparalleled. Fierce. Okay she dislikes gays. Still my mom. The two women i love most (Shay is 16.5) hugged and cried hard. The love. Extreme love. The tears were honest and brutal. Death of a Salesman might be my favorite play. It was like we lived under delusion of grades and sports. It all came crashing down in a good way. Her mom is now involved . She had been Panera and just discovered getting high on twice a year visits. I said buck up she needs you not a Cadillac. Response was of course.

    Don’t know if I could have handled this without all of you. It is not so much about feedback. It is more about responsibility. I relate here and by doing so I reflect. I am flawed. A 56 year old gay man with a teen girl. I know nothing. I have been to medical detox for her. I need to be for me. So easy to pretend to do it for another.
    Oh well Thank you

  5. Mothy67 says:

    WTF did Jane Fonda do to her face?
    I cannot resist Dolly

  6. Dora says:

    In my opinion the whole world is turning into one big, creepy place!


    AI system cloning of human voices reaches creepy new level of achievement… now you can never trust that what you hear is HUMAN

  7. elliesmom says:

    I had only been teaching a few months when a student brought a gun to school. The building was huge, and other than the passing bell being delayed a few minutes, I was oblivious. No one was hurt. But the next night parents flooded a school board meeting demanding safety measures be put in place. All of the doors to the outside except the front door were locked, and within a couple of days metal detectors arrived. But the thing that would make the biggest change was the assignment of “Officer Benny” to the school. It was a brilliant move on the part of the police department to choose him. Benny had graduated from the high school himself. He had played both football and hockey. He had a teenage son of his own and was already known to a lot of the kids.

    The principal called a faculty meeting to introduce Benny. He outlined Benny’s duties to let us know what Benny could and could not do. Benny could patrol the hallways, which he did on a bicycle somedays and on roller skates or a skateboard others. I said the school was huge. He ate lunch with the kids in the cafeteria and checked on the bathrooms. He couldn’t visit classrooms without invitation, but within a few weeks all but the “anti-police” faculty had issued blanket invitations. Benny was fun to have drop in. If Benny found kids violating school rules, he could report the kids to one of the four vice principals, but if it was also an infraction of the law, it was Benny’s decision whether to report or arrest. There was no veto.

    When it was Benny’s turn to talk, he said he would do his best to keep violence out of the school, but the bigger danger to the kids was the stupid decisions they made themselves, and he was going to try to protect them from that, too. He said the problem with Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” program was it was aimed at the wrong people. Kids are young and stupid, and it’s the adults in their lives who need to be saying no to them. He was going to be a giant “no” in their lives. He hoped we’d join him. And while he knew some of them would be kicking and screaming, he was going to make it hard for parents not to get onboard.

    Over the next years, a couple of important football games were forfeited when the coach caught the team drinking. Using marijuana or other drugs in school got you a trip to juvenile court. Defacing school property got you assigned to a work crew. But the one that got the parents most riled was parents who let their kids have parties where alcohol was served found themselves arrested for contributing to the delinquency of minors. Those arrests were outside the school’s jurisdiction, but being at school everyday got Benny really good intel. Pretty soon there was a list of homes other parents wouldn’t let their kids go anywhere near.

    Under Benny the school became a better place to be. The number of fights declined. Instead of disrupting everyone else, kids who chronically misbehaved were assigned to an alternative school. Kids who were always late got a wake up call and a ride to school with Benny in a cruiser. “Just a friendly gesture”. Skip school? The district attorney’s office paid teachers to host Saturday school. Eventually kids who just needed some extra help came voluntarily. Benny’s attitude of “we’re all in this together” got all but the most lax parents on board. There were still some parents whose attitude was “it’s just pot” or “my kid drinks beer, so what?” or the one Benny went after most was “all the kids do it”. In his school that wasn’t true. I was there 10 years, and there wasn’t another weapons issue, either. Benny’s demeanor was boyish and affable, but losing his own little brother to drugs and alcohol had made him a man on a mission.

    • swanspirit says:

      That is such a great outcome. I firmly believe that kids who misbehave in school should have consequences. That is how they learn. And children do not do as they are told. The do what they see done.

  8. Dora says:

    No more cackle! Hooray!

  9. Dora says:

    James Carville declares Republicans ‘White trash’ after State of the Union

  10. Mothy67 says:

    I have come here for years. I rely on so many of you.
    EM is a god send. Do you honestly think I would say to Shay she looks like Jenna Ortega with better cleavage No that would never happen. I said it here and she does.
    I just ran through this 45 day suspension. Trust me I said nothing in public. I spoke here. I was able to evaluate because EM schooled me. I am grateful. I gave was given pause. Tim who loves a child was ready to go for jugular. I could end VP.
    I took a seat and was in doing so looked around. My brat got straight A’s won everything. She was in emotional pain. A 45 day suspension has become a blessing

    • Somebody says:

      So Tim my question is do you know why Shay is smoking pot? You mentioned emotional pain above, is that the cause? If so what steps are you and Shay taking to help her find healthier ways to deal with that emotional pain?

      Kids generally start smoking pot as a means of escape, much the way people drink. It’s a way to escape whatever it is that is bothering them or they can’t face or lack the tools to deal with. Kids also start smoking pot to fit in or to be cool or to be accepted by someone or a group. It can be all of the above or any combination.

      I hope you and more importantly Shay are able to take stock during this 45 day period. Perhaps some counseling would help Shay to get at the root of her issues. You mentioned her mom being a source, is she smoking to gain her mother’s approval? Children want their mother’s approval no matter how crappy their mother may have been to them and I imagine that’s a hard pill to swallow for you. BTW, I’m not throwing shade at you, I myself am in that position, I understand the emotions probably more than anyone. I spent just shy of 8 years raising my grandkids, the youngest an infant. Suddenly their mother has returned, she’s decided she wants a relationship with them. On the one hand I’m happy for them, on the other I worry if she beats feet again what the fallout might be. I’ve seen my own grandkids suddenly have likes or dislikes in what appears to be an effort to be like mom.

      Is it just that she hasn’t come to terms with her father’s death? Is it the pressure of being close to finishing high school and having to decide what she wants to be when she grows up? Picking a college and/or a career? The pressure of athletics? Trying to fit in with a certain crowd? Boyfriend issues? Issues at home?

      EM is correct she should be grounded, no boyfriend, no friends spending the night. You should also seriously consider finding an adult she can talk openly with, someone that is trained to deal with situations like this, someone objective. A therapist, psychologist, a counselor, a pastor someone.

      Not every dalliance into drugs, alcohol or escapism of whatever nature is life changing, but the thing is you don’t know when it might be. I know oodles of people that tried pot or even other drugs, some that still do them and they are productive members of society. I myself dabbled in my youth. However, I know many people that started down that path and never turned back. My best friend’s daughter being one, she was a fantastic kid, smart, beautiful, athletic. She broke all kinds of well established track records, scouts at track meets, she was going to have her pick of colleges and scholarships. Everyone expected she’d be an Olympic star, not because we were starry eyed, but because she was gifted with hall of fame genetics and that’s as specific as I’ll get.

      Well one day she got in trouble for smoking pot, a shock to us all. The school kept it hush, hush there were track meets and swim meets, kids will be Kids. Her parents shrugged, kids will be kids, all kids try things, they also blamed each other as divorced parents can often do. Except for her that was the beginning of the end. She never finished her senior year, didn’t compete, didn’t get any scholarships, ended up in jail, then disappeared. She came in and out of her parents lives a couple of times over the next decade.

      One day they got a phone call she was in a coma in a hospital hundreds of miles away. She had been found unconscious, needle in her arm in an alley. She was septic, in a coma, her heart eventually gave out a few days later.

      I don’t know what was different for her or why what happened, happened, what was going on inside of her. I don’t think anybody can explain it. Her friends at the time all turned out fine, her boyfriend founded a very successful company. They dabbled, but it didn’t control them, it didn’t take them over and that is the case most of the time, but not always.

      So, once again I encourage you to consider some kind of counseling for Shay. If nothing else it will be another sounding block, another adult helping her find her way.

      • Mothy67 says:

        Somebody I hired a therapist. I will do anything. Unknown to me she smokes with her mom. I am great uncle. I have no decision. Zero legal rights. I think things are good. My mom and Shay cried. They cried hard in each others arms. Love. love love My mom told her she loved her and Shay responded in kind
        Two fierce woman admitting they love each other. My women are interesting I adore brat but 45 days sounds extreme—- lemonade. Chris is dead. He was high. He was her dad

        • votermom says:

          That’s good she has a therapist

        • Somebody says:

          There is zero tolerance here, get caught with drugs on campus you are expelled. Your mileage varies, depending on administration and staff, but the student is supposed to be removed. We have alternative schools and GED programs and a host of other programs.

          Enforcement is very disparate. For instance the high school my kids were supposed to go to before we moved; on any given day you could go in the bathroom and get high just breathing🙄 crack pipes, used IV needles strewn about. The high school to the east of there ditto, but go south and OMG. That principal truly had zero tolerance, he sent kids to the flipping alternative school after so many infractions of their shirt not being tucked in🙄

          We moved to another district, nobody here smokes or does drugs in the bathrooms or if they do they are dealt with post haste. The local police show up randomly and walk drug dogs through the halls. I know of two kids caught with drugs in school here, both were immediately expelled. I’m not claiming kids here don’t do drugs, I know better, but generally they keep them out of the school, it’s more of an extracurricular activity here.

        • DeniseVB says:

          45 days seems extreme for a first offense, especially for a model student. Might be time to call CPS on mom and knock off the pot parties until she’s 18.

  11. Dora says:

    I wish more leaders thought that way.

  12. Dora says:

    I just know they are going to try!

  13. Dora says:

  14. John Denney says:

    Victor Davis Hanson rebuts Biden’s SOTU.

    Bottom Line Up Front (BLUF):

    “In sum, it was the same old, same old dishonest Joe Biden: misinform, ignore, and attack—and then call for “unity” as the country collectively slides into ruin.”

    • lateblum says:

      And the very next morning, he was back to name calling the Republicans. He is a malicious piece of human waste product.

      • lateblum says:

        And after the mess that was the SOTU, I heard a clip of him speaking to a crowd on the radio today. He said “I know most of the Republicans want to repeal your Social Security. They don’t care about you.”
        It’s a wonder he dares to show his face outside the WH. And it’s no wonder he had a fence built around the Capitol for his speech.

  15. elliesmom says:

    Shay has a parent who had drug issues and a great uncle who is an alcoholic. That in and of itself is reason to stop any drinking or marijuana use. Yes, she needs a counselor. The school is familiar with Shay’s situation, and they can probably make some good recommendations for someone in private practice. If you think 45 days is excessive, what do you think would be long enough to make Shay and your family take notice? I doubt a week or two would have phased you. Shay will be allowed back in school at the beginning of April. That should give you plenty of time to get several counseling sessions under her belt. And for you, your mom, and her mom to establish some “New Rulz”.

    • Somebody says:

      I would have a serious problem with her mom smoking with her and I would have a talk with dear old mom.

      Shay does realize if she were to get an athletic scholarship she will be drug tested routinely.

      • DeniseVB says:

        Mom should have lost all rights when she abandoned her child, Tim needs to call CPS and fill them in, and get protective custody til that child is 18.

        Good grief, my dd was arrested in high school for stealing CDs to sell to support her pot habit. Got off with a fine, community service and probation because she was a good student, didn’t miss a day of school either. (Didn’t win Mother of the Year that year either 😛 )

        • Somebody says:

          I don’t know about PA, but FL is remiss to take away parental rights. It has to be severe. Baby mama wanted to give up her parental rights because she feared child support and minimal responsibility.

          The courts refused to take away her parental rights, instead allowed only monthly supervised visitation, which she only availed herself of 3 times until this past July. She was required to get counseling and take parenting classes and submit a financial statement. The courts tracked her down in PA and hounded her to complete classes and counseling threatening her with contempt, but shrugged over the financial statement.

      • dm says:

        I’ve been following this discussion and while everyone has made excellent points I only have an observation to add. I’m hard pressed to think of any of my friends kids who don’t smoke marijuana. I was surprised 5 years ago to learn of a couple of them that I believed didn’t partake only to learn they do – frequently. My kids and my friends kids didn’t grow up with drugs or alcohol abusing parents, but they all drink and smoke the weed. My circle of friends are mostly college educated, mix of blue and white collar jobs. But I do live in an area that is somewhat affluent (not us) and all the drugs are everywhere. It’s a tough culture to fight, especially with it being legalized in so many states now.

        • Jentx says:

          It is a fight we must win if we have any hope for this country. For those of us watching every state that has legalized marijuana has seen dramatic increase in drug use it is absolutely a gateway drug. There has also been enormous increase in crime in states where they have legalized marijuana and that is because it takes away your motivation to work and theft becomes your answer to buy more drugs. I have a friend who went to Colorado a year after they legalized marijuana and was in one of the wealthiest little cities you can go to And could not get a fast food meal because every place they went the workers were so drugged out they could not complete the order and this is a true story. Furthermore marijuana is used when people are driving the increase in accidents is also a major problem in states that have legalized marijuana. Finally it is a drug it is a drug that makes you lazy it is a drug that takes away motivation it is a drug that makes you think you are better than you are and unlike cocaine it has the opposite effect it makes you stupid it makes you groggy and it steals your life. Most children are watching perversion online are committing crimes are having sex before 12 and many will never know the joy and happiness that childhood should have given them. The last thing we need to do is tell them drugs are OK we might as well just give them a gun and say kill yourself now. I cannot stress this enough and I have followed the trend as have others and it is the death knell to childhood. What you need to do is be the alpha parent and have your children walk away from what most people are doing because what most people are doing is not good. If you can’t do this God help us all.

  16. elliesmom says:

    If we want to change the drug culture in this country, we need to stop the influx of drugs into the country, but we also need to reduce the number of available customers. Just because the fight is hard doesn’t mean we should just give up. I think you might be surprised by how many kids don’t drink or use marijuana. While 4 in 10 high school students have used marijuana, that means 6 in 10 haven’t. When your kids or the kids around you do, it’s easy to fall into “everybody does it”. Even where marijuana is legal, it still isn’t legal for kids, which means an adult is facilitating teen use.

    • Mothy67 says:

      I think you think I am not on same page. Well I am terrified. We might not even be in the same book. I would give everything I own to quote Gordon to protect her. I don’t know what to do. Her mom buys her pot. Am i any better. I seriously watched a bottle of vodka not be drunk. I did get it but had that bottle made it to a party I would be responsible. I let it go. Six houses away a 20 year old is dead. He is gone. Some are saying fentanyl. I don’t know. My brat made a very bad decision. I am more upset with choices. She was not high. So many things are not of my choice. I have zero rights. I will do anything to educate her. 45 days after lockdown is a bump in the road. Her boyfriends dad who runs Washington County at risk adolescents smokes with his son. I am treading water,

      • elliesmom says:

        It’s your comments over the years that have made me believe you and I are not on the same page. Not even in the same library. Your comments are the only way I know you. She’s dating the star football player so you’ve accepted there will be drinking. It’s just sex. The vice principal targeted her because he hates me. Shay was there, but she wasn’t doing it. Excuses and victimhood are all you ever offer.

        Frankly, I hope this 45 day suspension has you scared shitless. I’m going to guess the school’s drug problem has been escalating, and the school had a sudden come to Jesus moment and decided to finally do something. If the head of the kids at risk program smokes with his son, and his son is having sex on a regular basis with her, then this isn’t the first time Shay has gotten high with her friends. And don’t tell me she was in the bathroom, but just watching. If she told you that, and you believed her, you’re an idiot. But you already told us the CBD oil in Shay’s bag wasn’t hers because she said so.

        You don’t have to have legal custody of a child to exert a positive influence. You haven’t been a good role model. Get some counseling yourself. Get sober and stay sober and share with her how hard it is to climb out once you’ve fallen in. Send her to Al-On, the group for families of alcoholics. while she’s on suspension. And stop encouraging her to see the druggie boyfriend with the terrible father. And, yes, if he smokes pot with his father, then he’s a druggie boyfriend, and his family should be on the “no fly list”. If you have no legal say, then try to convince your mother not to raise another dysfunctional child. But I know you won’t do any of that.

        I taught in a high school with 2400 kids for 10 years so that’s 24, 000 high school students who have passed through my view. I have heard it all. Shay’s story isn’t unique. This may or may not be a turning point in her life, but it appears to me her vice principal may be the only one really trying to help. Let him do his job.

        I feel like I’m enabling you by giving you someone to hand wring and pearl clutch to. You say you’re grateful to me, but there isn’t a single piece of advice I’ve given you that you’ve taken. So I’m done.

        • Mothy67 says:

          Wow that was brutal. Not that it matters but a day or so later I agree with 45 days. I had a gut reaction. Ten days in school would have been nothing. This is wake up. Drugs are not yet that bad here but a 20 minute walk down the road they are plague. One toke on a joint laced with fentanyl can equal death. The twins who live six houses away, the 20 year old brother dead. Gone. He is dead at 20. I know them well.
          I have a therapist for girl. She has never seen me drunk. I hid.
          I won’t be coming back here but did treasure my time.

          • Mothy67 says:

            Another thing I had my grandmothers fourth husband drop me off many times at ER. He would just deposit me. I had broken bones. I lied. Fell out of a tree. My nose would be shattered. Who falls out of a tree and lands on nose? No one cared. I am trying to be the best I can for Shay I do not know what I am doing. She was so tiny and fell into my lap. I did not want a child. I can barely tie my shoes. A kid? There was no one else.

  17. Anthony says:

    Where’s Helen? Watching this Linda Darnell movie and thinking of her

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